


365 Days of HaruMichi

by MiraculousStuff



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: 4/20, 4chan, AU, Acrostic, Africa by Toto, Alcohol, All Just a Dream, All Star, Alternate Universe - Character Swap, Alternate Universe - Mob, Animal Farm References, Anime Club, Anime/Video Game Fusion, Anniversary, April Fool's Day, Autism, Autism au, Awkward Dates, Baby shark, Based on a Tumblr Post, Big Time Rush references, Bill Nye References, Birthday, Birthday Fireworks, Birthday Fluff, Body Modification, Bribes, Bullies, Bullying, Canon Gay Relationship, Canon LGBTQ Character, Canon LGBTQ Female Character, Card Games, Cats, Censorship, Challenge Response, Chick-fil-a, Chocolate, City Night, Clickbait, Coming Of Age Day, Concerts, Cravings, Crazy fan, Dancing, Darts, Dates, Diary Snooping, Dirty Dancing, Discord - Freeform, Double Dating, Drunk Dancing, Drunken Flirting, Drunken Kissing, Dystopia, Ecchi, Endgame, Engagement, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, F/F, Fangirls, Fashion Show, Fire, Fireworks, First Love, Five Stages of Grief, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff and Crack, Food, Food Porn, Freaky Fic Friday, GARNiDELiA, Gag Gift, Game Shows, Gay Chicken, Gay For You, Gay Pride, Gay or European, Get In The Robot, Getting a Pet, Gift Exchange, Given References, Grief/Mourning, Grocery Shopping, Grocery Store, Hatsune Miku - Freeform, Head pats, Helicopters, Hot Tub Time Machine - Freeform, I Don't Even Know, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I'll be there for you, Ice Skating, Implied/Referenced Chiba Mamoru/Tsukino Usagi, Implied/Referenced Kaiou Michiru/Tenoh Haruka, Inspired by Yuri!!! on Ice, It's Raining Tacos, Kinmoku, Kittens, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Female Character, LGBTQ Themes, LOUD music, Legally Blonde, Lesbian Characters, Lesbian Sex, Lipstick & Lip Gloss, Love, Love Poems, Magical Girl Spec-Ops Asuka References, Memes, Minecraft, Money, Mother's Day, Movie Night, Musical References, Musicals, Neon Genesis Evangelion References, Netflix and Chill, New Year's Fluff, New Year's Kiss, Night Driving, No Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Old Lady Setsuna, One-Punch Man References, Otaku Senshi, Out of Body Experiences, Outer Senshi Family, Painting, Parody, Parties, Party, Patron, Peppa Pig - Freeform, Pizza Ex Machina, Playing with Food, Poems, Political Ads, Political Campaigns, Post Sailor Stars, PowerPoint, Pranks, Presents, Pride, Psycho-pass - Freeform, Queen - Freeform, Racing, Rainbows, Raining Food, Rap, Rap Music, Red Scorpion, Reiwa Era, Revenge, Revenge Meme, Rings, Role-Playing Game, Sailor Moon References, Sailor Says PSA, Savage Hotaru Tomoe, Screaming, Sensory Overload, Sera Myu References, Sex, Shameless Smut, Sharing a Bed, Shooting Guns, Shower Sex, Shower kink, Showers, Sick Character, Sickfic, Smile Sweet Sister Sadistic, Smut, Smutty, Snakes on a Plane, Spaghetti, Sprite, Starting A Fandom, Straight Pride, Supportive Hotaru Tomoe, Sybil System (Psycho-Pass), TED Talk, Tacos, Television Watching, The Pizza Man, Tokyo - Freeform, True Love, Tumblr Memes, Tumblr Prompt, Twitter, UNO, Underage Drinking, Underage Kissing, Violins, Vocaloid - Freeform, Walking In, Wedding Fluff, Weddings, Wild Party, Wine, Yearbook, YouTube, Yuri, Yuri on Ice AU, alcoholics, billboard, brief nudity, chocolate chip cookies, city pop, cookie - Freeform, cookie porn, crazy driving, creeper aw man, cursing, diaries, drunk, everglow, friends - Freeform, graduation party, italian restaurant, jpop - Freeform, kpop, lost cat, nico nico nii, park, payday, period, period cravings, periodic table, playdate, poem, proposal, search party, supermarket, takeout food, there's no place like home, three moms, vkusno
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2019-10-02 04:30:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 275
Words: 48,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17257613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiraculousStuff/pseuds/MiraculousStuff
Summary: I decided to try to write 365 entire HaruMichi drabbles in 2019, one for each day, cause HaruMichi made my 2018 and I need more in 2019.





	1. January 1st: New Year's Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry I haven't been posting! I've been really busy with scoliosis treatment, but hey, hopefully I keep this idea I had up!
> 
> SUMMARY OF CHAPTER ONE BECAUSE AO3 WON'T LET ME PUT ONE UP: They didn't mean to spend New Year's stopping a shooting, they meant to spend it in bed, kissing. But will Michiru finally get her kiss for the new year?

The Juuban district in Tokyo seemed like an awkward place, if you were in the middle of it. The new year was about to start, but there was 2 different energies spreading in the city. One was a happy, joyous, normal energy. Some people were at the Tokyo Tower, partying it up and waiting for the tower to turn different colors and the balloons to rise. But most people were worried, standing by a nearby store. Someone tried to go in and shoot everyone, but if you were a resident of Juuban, you'd know for a fact that that would never happen. Why? Oh, because the Sailor Senshi always showed up whenever something bad happened. Sailor Moon was already sleeping with Chibi Moon, Mars was having a party at her shrine and Venus, Jupiter and Mercury were there. But there were four Senshi who threw away their New Year's plans just to fight and save Tokyo. Sailors Uranus, Neptune, Pluto and Saturn were at work, punishing the shooter. 

The shooter was running, but Uranus and Neptune ran faster. Saturn had already fallen asleep in battle, so Pluto was carrying her and couldn't do much. 

"10! 9!"

"Are you ready, Michiru?"

"8! 7!"

"Ready as I'll ever be."

"6! 5!"

"But will you kiss me at midnight?'

"4! 3!"

"We can't talk about that right now."

"2! 1"

"WORLD SHAKING! DEEP SUBMERGE!" 

The crowd erupted into cheers as the attack struck the shooter.  _Auld Lang Syne_ played in the background as the cop car drove in the joyous streets, grabbing the now weak shooter and taking him to jail. When it drove away, there was more cheering, but nobody could make out what the crowd was saying. 

"HAPPY NEW YEARANUS AND NEPTUNE!" is what it sounded like.

Sailor Uranus wasn't phased at any of the noise. She was just staring at Sailor Neptune, who was blushing and looking down.

"What do you want, Neptune?"

"It's past midnight, but can we kiss?"

At that sound, Pluto fell, not because of any attack. Because her daughter, Sailor Saturn, woke up at the noise and jumped out. 

"URANUS-PAPA AND NEPTUNE-MAMA ARE GONNA KISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!", she yelled to the cheering crowd.

"Ok, Neptune.", said Uranus. "I know this is late, but who cares about a time on a clock."

As the two leaned in, a happy Saturn started pumping her fist and raising her glaive, counting down all over again.

"5! 4! 3! 2! 1!"

Hands were on necks, lips on lips, toes touching each other. 

The crowd went wild, and Saturn yelled again. 

"THIS IS BETTER THAN THE STUPID STRAIGHT KISS CAM! HAVE A GAY OLD NEW YEAR!"


	2. Notes To Self

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not a drabble, but I'm just listing some Japanese holidays/Senshi birthdays/airing dates of special SM episodes I might forget about so I can write proper fanfic for those days.

9/10- Mercury's Birthday

9/17- Respect For The Aged Day

9/23- Autumn Equinox

10/8- Health and Sports Day

10/22- Venus's Birthday

10/29- Pluto's Birthday

11/3- Culture Day

12/5- Jupiter's Birthday


	3. January 2nd: Clover-WHAT?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our lovely couple finds out about the Cloverway dub where they were treated as cousins, and chaos ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks @sailor_memes.exe for the iconic "this is trash" quote follow her on ig because she is my best friend in the sailor moon fandom

"Haruka-papa! Michiru-mama!", shouted Hotaru from the living room. "I found something really stupid on Setsuna-mama's computer!"  

The two lovers rolled their eyes at this statement. Usually when Hotaru goofs around on Setsuna's computer, she either ruins Setsuna's work or writes an entire 5-page essay about a random topic she generated. Like for example, she wrote an essay about the tradition of eating Kentucky Fried Chicken on Christmas in Japan last week. Or the time where she wrote three essays, one about each of her three moms. "What is it?", asked Haruka. "I still can't believe this is real, but it is!", yelled Hotaru. "They changed something really important in our anime in America!" Curiously, Haruka and Michiru looked at eachother and ran to the computer. 

The computer had a site online that read "Lesbians Turned To Cousins? Thanks Cloverway!"

Upon reading the headline, Haruka and Michiru yelled "COUSINS?" Hotaru sadly nodded. "And that's not all they did! They took out all the good stuff, and added stupid PSAs, and made some gay villains from before we started straight, and they didn't even air the season with the Starlights!" 

"WHAT?", yelled Haruka and Michiru. Haruka then added, "I mean, thank god America didn't have to deal with, ugh, Seiya, but they didn't see our beautiful family! And our gayness! And everything that makes us unique!" Hotaru then clicked on a video called "Cousins".

The video started, and it went to a scene where Haruka and Michiru were entering a love contest. The voices said, "Look, here come Amara and Michelle!"

"Who's Amara? Who's Michelle?", asked Hotaru. "I don't know.", said Michiru.

The video continued, "Why do you think they've entered the contest? They're girls, and cousins, too!"

Haruka and Michiru grabbed onto each other like they just saw a jump-scare in a rated R-15+ horror movie. "NOOOOO!", they shouted. "This is TRASH!"

Setsuna came running in, with nothing but her senshi uniform on. "I was going to take a shower, but I heard you guys screaming, so I just transformed. Are you guys fine?"

"NO!"

"Is it a monster? Did Hotaru age? Did Seiya-"

"No, worse than all those combined, Setsuna. They turned Haruka and I into COUSINS in America!"

"That's terrible! I'm going to go to the door of space and time and have America make a version that keeps all your amazing gloriness."

And so, Setsuna went, and the Viz dub was born.

So if you stan the Viz dub like me, thank Setsuna.


	4. January 3rd: Bless The Rains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka and Hotaru team up to get Michiru to cover "Africa" at her next violin concert.

Michiru was still sleeping. It was 8:30 in the morning, but she had no clue what her lover and daughter were doing.

"IT'S GONNA TAKE A LOT TO TAKE ME AWAY FROM YOU!", Haruka and Hotaru were screaming in the living room. "THERE'S NOTHING A HUNDRED MEN OR MORE CAN EVER DO! I BLESS THE RAINS DOWN IN AFRICA! GONNA TAKE SOME TIME TO DO THE THINGS WE NEVER HAAAAAAAADDD!" 

"I love this song!", yelled Hotaru over the loud music. "Me too, Hotaru!", yelled back Haruka. "But you know what would make it better?"

"What?"

"What if we got Michiru-mama to play it at her concert tonight!"

Screaming was heard from Hotaru. "OH MY GOSH YES! But how would we be able to get her to do it?"

Five minutes later, there were footsteps and whispers in Michiru's bedroom. 

"Do you think this is gonna work?", asked Hotaru.

"Yes, kitten. I accidentally blasted a song one day, and she ended up playing it."

A button was hit, and loud music started blasting out of the radio. As Haruka and Hotaru ran away, Michiru woke up to the song. She laughed and turned off the radio, her messy blue-green hair bouncing in the air. "I see what you want, my love."

An hour later, Hotaru, Haruka and Setsuna were at the table, eating breakfast when they heard some noises on the violin.  _What is that?_ , wondered Haruka. But then she realized the familiar tune, and smiled.

_I knew this prank was gonna work out._

* * *

Cheers filled the Tokyo Dome as Michiru finished one of her songs. Despite it being a sold out crowd, Haruka still cheered the loudest out of everyone, standing after every song. After the applause died down, Michiru said, "This is my last song."

_This is it!_

"This is for my one and only lover, Haruka Tenoh. Enjoy!" 

She then proceeded to play the song more beautiful than any other version Haruka ever heard. 

_I love Michiru. I really do. She can even make the most rocky song so elegant and beautiful._

_We were meant to be._


	5. January 4th: Where Is My Lip Rod?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The lip rods go missing, and IDK why they're called that but I'm just going with the official translation.

It was a rainy afternoon, and all was calm in Tokyo. Unless you were in the Tenoh/Kaioh/Meioh/Tomoe house. Then, it was chaos.

Haruka, Michiru and Setsuna all ran into the kitchen and looked at each other, screaming the same exact thing. 

"DID YOU GUYS SEE MY LIP ROD?"

"Wait, your's is gone too?"

"Yeah!"

"Same here!" 

The three girls looked at each other and nodded. Without their lip rods, they couldn't transform, and they couldn't be without them at all times.

"Shouldn't we just ask Hotaru?", asked Michiru, but Haruka shook her head. "She's having a playdate with Chibiusa, there's no way she'd know."

But they knew what to do. Search the whole house.

The kitchen turned into a tornado, with food flying everywhere and clutter scattered around the room.  _Not there._

Haruka and Michiru's room got dirtier than usual, and the search broke one of Michiru's violins and two of Haruka's trophies.  _Not there, either._

They knew to be careful in Setsuna's room, as there was a lot of science equipment, but the knowledge was no use. An explosion occurred after spilling a test tube, but there was no sign of the lip rods anywhere. 

Living room? Nowhere.

Bathrooms? Nothing but toilet paper and tampons. 

Dining room? Just a table and chairs.

After a while, they looked everywhere but Hotaru's room. "It can't be there.", said Setsuna. "I guess we have to check the garage, then!"

Both Haruka's regular car and race car had nothing in there, and neither did all three of the helicopters. They even checked Hotaru's toy Jeep just to make sure, and nothing was there.

"Well, I can always go get new ones from Neo-Queen Serenity.", said Setsuna. 

"But don't you need to transform first? Let's just ask Hotaru.", said Michiru.

They didn't know it, but that decision would've been the simplest solution ever.

* * *

 

In Hotaru's room, a battle was going on. It wasn't between, say, a youma and a Senshi, but it was between Hotaru and Chibiusa. But they weren't in their usual forms, per say.

"DEEP SUBMERGE!", yelled Hotaru. The powerful attack hit Chibiusa to the ground, but she got up. "SPACE SWORD BLASTER!", Chibiusa fired back. The girls laughed and continued fighting, but there was a knock on the door. 

"Come in!"

The three Outers came in to the room, in shock. Hotaru was dressed in Neptune's uniform, and Chibiusa was dressed in Uranus's. Setsuna's Lip Rod was on the ground, acting like it was just a little toy. 

"What were you guys doing? You know not to mess with those things, and plus, you have your own transformations!", yelled Setsuna. "We were worried sick!", added Haruka, and Michiru nodded her disapproval.

"But me and Chibiusa were playing the video game, but then our controllers died, so we just decided to play the real thing!"

"But you guys are in there too!"

"Come on, they made that game before Hotaru awakened, and I'm the worst character to play as. We were just playing as who we picked in the game!"

Chibiusa then was driven back home, and Hotaru was in her room, sad.

She was grounded. On her birthday weekend.


	6. January 5th: Happy Anniversary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been five years since HaruMichi met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know the real date of when they met, but I felt like writing this today because it's my anniversary on my blog.

It was nighttime, and Haruka and Michiru were in bed, alone. 

"It's been five years since I first laid eyes on you, my love. Five years of miracle romance.", said Michiru.

"Yeah.", replied Haruka. "These five years have been amazing, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Because you support me."

"Because you're so sweet, and you complete me."

"I love you!"

The two embraced for a second, and then kissed a long, passionate kiss.

After ten minutes of making out, the happy couple got their bags and exchanged them. It was a tradition of theirs to give each other two gifts on their anniversary- one real, one gag.

Michiru went first, digging in and pulling out a tiny package. "That's the gag one!", Haruka yelled. Michiru laughed, opened it and laughed again.

It was a violin, but not just any violin. It was a toy violin, complete with a tiny bow and buttons to play simple nursery rhymes. "Screw complicated pieces! Next concert, I'm playing the intellectual song Mary Had A Little Lamb!" 

After laughing for five minutes, Michiru opened the bigger box and screamed. "NO! DID YOU REALLY?"

"Yep, I did."

Michiru was going to Australia and playing the Sydney Opera House, and then to America to play the Madison Square Garden.

"OH MY GOD THANK YOU! I don't think I topped that, but go on, open your gifts!" 

Haruka got out a little envelope and a wrapped present. She went for the envelope first, assuming that was the gag gift, but Michiru shook her head. "Open the bigger one, that's the gag gift."

"You know how to get me good," said Haruka as she ripped the wrapping paper. She was right- previously, Michiru got her an empty shopping bag, tickets to a Three Lights concert on another planet and one of Hotaru's old baby rattles. But this year, Haruka shouted, "Setsuna's gonna be PISSED!"

It was a matching set of T-shirts, one for Michiru, one for Haruka and one for Hotaru, that read "Pluto is a dwarf planet." "This is so funny! That violin was nothing compared to this."

The envelope was then taken out, with a photo and a note inside. 

"The real gift is too big to fit, but I got you a Lamborghini."

"HOLY SHIT THAT'S CRAZY! THAT'S CRAZY MICHIRU OH MY FUCKING GOD! IT'S A FUCKING LAMBO! THANK YOU MICHIRU! I LOVE YOU! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!"


	7. January 6: The Proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chibiusa has something for Hotaru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m a hardcore Hotarusa shipper oops

There was a knock on the door, and Michiru went to answer it, even though they weren’t expecting any visitors.

“Hello?”

A short, pink haired girl was at the door, with a small box in her hand. “Hey Michiru! I was wondering if I could see Hotaru, you know, for her birthday.”

“I’m sorry, Hotaru’s grounded. You know, for taking our lip rods.”

  
“But it’s her birthday! And that was my idea, so she shouldn’t be grounded.”

  
“You know what, I’ll let you see her. You’re her best friend, after all.”

  
“Yay!”, Chibiusa shouted as she ran into Hotaru’s room. “Can you and Haruka and Setsuna come in Hotaru’s room, too?”  
“Sure!” And with that, Chibiusa ran into Hotaru’s room, smiling with her girlfriend’s three moms.

“HOTARU!”  
“CHIBIUSA!”  
The two best friends embraced, and Haruka and Michiru stood by each other, smiling while Chibiusa got on her knees.

“Hotaru, I really love you, as more than just a friend. You make me smile, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So in the future…”

  
She opened the box, revealing a ring. Haruka and Michiru gasped in delight, and Hotaru was in shock.

“Do you want to be Queen Saturn of Crystal Tokyo?”  
“NO! You’re kidding! Of course!”  
The two then hugged and kissed, rings on each other.

“First love, eh?” Haruka turned to Michiru.  
“I’m glad she already has a girlfriend, and didn’t turn out to be straight. How sweet!”  
“I love our love.”  
“Me too, Haruka.”

As the two happy couples kissed, Setsuna stood there, alone.

“Why can’t Usagi just get with Seiya so I can have Endymion to myself?”


	8. January 7th: Who's The Patron?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's payday at the house. But who the flip flop is giving out the 1 trillion yen?

“WAHOO! We’re getting paid today for existing!”, Haurka screamed and leaped into the air while Michiru laughed. Haruka was never as excited as she was on these random days- the day their patron would come and give them money. As in, 1 trillion yen a visit. She visited once a month at the same time, and handed it over, not making any fuss. Setsuna didn’t even know who this patron was, neither did Hotaru or Chibiusa. Just as the excitement was building up, the clock striked 3:36 am.

 

A time where everyone else but the lesbians and their patron was up.

 

A tiny little knock was heard on the door, and the girls ran over to the door as soon as she jumped over to ring the doorbell.

 

“Hey!”

 

“CHIBI!”, the patron said and smiled. She was short, with red hair in heart-shaped odangos, a little sailor fuku, and big blue eyes. “Chibi Chibi?”, she said as the envelope was handed to Haruka and Michiru. Then, the patron ran off, screaming “Chibi!”

 

“Aww, she’s so cute. Chibi Chibi’s the best.”

 

“WHAT?”, yelled Hotaru and Chibiusa. They set an alarm for 3:36 am to find out who the patron was.

 

To their shock, it was Chibi Chibi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE! *i bet you it's not chibi chibi in canon, but i thought it would be funny if it was her*


	9. January 8th: Ruined Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uranus and Neptune were hungry AF after their fight, so they went to the nearest restaurant. Little did they know it would be a disaster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote this at school, on my school docs, so I had to substitute the cursing I wanted with things like "fries" and "shoot" and "flipping" and change them on my AO3 editor. Wasn't fun!

You could call the romantic Italian restaurant the straightest restaurant in Tokyo. Not just because the spaghetti was straight, it was because there was only couples there. Well, usually. On that one fateful day at Sakura’s in the Juban district, there was a few couples having dinner. But thanks to one couple that entered the premises, the rest of the night turned into a not-so-romantic date setting for them.

 

This one couple walked in, kissing with arms linked onto each other. The person at the front said their usual “Hello, welcome to Sakura’s, how many?”   
  


“Two, right?”, said the girl with the blond hair and yellow bow.

“Yes.”, said the other girl with turquoise-green hair and blue bow.

 

But then, the person screamed, jumped in delight, and got out her microphone for the shopping center PA system.

 

“HELLO THIS IS SAKURA’S RESTAURANT OK I AM NOT JOKING SAILOR URANUS AND SAILOR NEPTUNE ARE HERE I REPEAT SAILOR URANUS AND SAILOR NEPTUNE ARE HERE IN THE BUILDING OK BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

“Wait, Haruka!”

“Are we still…”   
“TRANSFOMED????” 

The two girls screamed, noticing that they were so hungry after their fight that they forgot to detransform. 

“We can get delivery from KFC, RUNNNNN!”

 

The couple ran as quick as they could to the bathrooms, but it was no use. A huge mob of fans busted in the doors of the restaurant, making fan signs out of napkins, pens, kids menu coloring sheets and crayons and screaming. 

“AHHHHH!”   
“HELPPP!”   
“THIS IS FUCKING AWFUL NEPTUNE!”   
“URANUS, RUNN!”   
  


The two ran into the diaper change bathroom, Sailor Teleported back home, and quickly called in KFC. 

 

The euphoria was over for Haruka and Michiru, but it was not over for the people at Sakura’s.

 

“WHERE ARE THEY? AUTOGRAPHS? PICTURES? PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE!”  
“Um, they l-left like, um, an hour ago. FUCK, I’M GONNA GET FIRED FOR THIS SHIT!”  
She wasn't wrong. The next day, she was fired. But guess where she decided to work next?  
  
KFC. 


	10. January 9th: Consolation Prize

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When our favorite canon lesbians enter a game show, they end up failing miserably- and winning a stupid consolation prize.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, there was a real game show where you won terrible consolation prizes.

"Welcome to everyone's favorite game show, Random Trivia Tokyo! This week is couples week, and we have three couples vying for that awesome grand prize: a romantic trip to a surprise location!"

Hotaru was parked in front of the TV, with Chibiusa by her side. "I love this show!", said Hotaru. "Me too!", said Chibiusa. "I love watching everyone win, but my favorite part is seeing all the stupid consolation prizes." They then turned back to the TV, as the couples were being introduced.

"First, we have Maddy and Brad!" The couple waved.

"Next, we have Susan and Jordon!" Susan went into the "in the name of the moon, I'll punish you" pose, with Jordon tugging at her to stop.

"And finally, Michiru and Haruka!" 

"WHAT????"

"Setsuna-mama, look! Michiru-mama and Haruka-papa are on this stupid game show!"

"This doesn't make any sense! I swear, the patron came only two days ago!"

As the TV went on and on about Maddy's 3 kids and a random love story, Chibiusa and Hotaru were bored, just coloring pictures. But once they started talking about Michiru and Haruka, the attention was finally back on the TV.

"So, how did you guys meet?"

"At an art gallery. I'm a painter, and Haruka is a race car driver, but we just happened to cross paths and that's when we fell in love."

"Why are you even here if you guys are that rich? I mean, everyone else here just works at McDonald's and waits tables."

"For fun."

"Ok, just have some fun with our consolation prize: Hershey's Syrup and Chocolate Milk Mix, and leave this place!"

The TV was then turned off, and Haruka walked by.

"What?", yelled Hotaru. "You were just on that game show, how are you here now?"

"It was a repeat from a few years back, and we just did it for fun, but they kicked us off and we got some syrup."

"How did you have fun with syrup?", asked Chibiusa.

Michiru then ran in and held the empty container.

"We just poured it all in the pool and swam in it!"  
  


 


	11. January 10: Watashi Model

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka models, and shit happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me and my friend saw a Chanel model in a racing outfit, so I came up with a fanfic idea.

A fashion show would be one place where Michiru wouldn't expect to be, but here she was, in the front row, holding her breath. A bunch of boring models walked in random outfits to the "Walk Walk Fashion Baby" song, and she was bored, playing a drinking game. Everytime she was bored, she took a shot, and boy, was Michiru drunk as hell. But in just one second, the show was gonna go in a different direction. And boy, was she ready, even though she was all boozed up.

The song ended, and a new one immediately started.

"iku sen no yoake o tobikoete eien mo tobikoete..."

Haruka came out, in a new white racing suit and her trusty helmet. Everyone else had no words, but Michiru was screaming over the music.

"YESS HARUKA WORK IT BITCH WALK IT WORK IT YESS GO SISTER YES!"  
  
As Haruka began posing, Michiru kept on screaming, shaking her sign that she made just for the occasion, "GO HARUKA!"

"WHOOO! YEAH HARUKA THAT'S MY LOVER I FUCKED WITH HER LAST NIGHT YEAHHHHHHHH!"

The other guests rolled their eyes, but Michiru jumped up on the catwalk with Haruka.

"SEE WE MAKE A GREAT COUPLE AND WE RAISE A KID TOGETHER WITH ANOTHER GIRL AND ENOUGH ABOUT ME SHES THE BEST KEEP ON WORKING IT MWAH!"   


Michiru then passed out.

* * *

Once Michiru was sober again, she went on Twitter, but was shocked to see the latest moment.

" _Drunk Supportive Girlfriend_ confirmed to be Michiru Kaioh, violinist and painter."  
  
"NANIIIIII?"

 


	12. January 11: Somebody Once Told Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotaru wrote a parody of All Star about 2 of her moms. Sorry, Setsuna.

It was midnight, and Hotaru was asleep. As fast as she could, Haruka ran to Hotaru's room and grabbed her diary, just like she did every night. One of Haruka and Michiru's favorite nighttime activities was snooping in Hotaru's diary, and there was always interesting stuff in there. School adventures, her secret love affair with anime, kinky wishes about her and Chibiusa. But tonight, as Michiru turned the page, she saw this in the diary:  
  


_Haruka and Michiru_

_(to the tune of All Star)  
_

_Somebody once told me it was weird to have three moms_

_Just a dad and a mom, not zero and three_

_But I love my family, I love Setsuna-mama_

_But I think I'm gonna spy on Haruka and Michiru_

_They snoop in my diary every night_

_Even though they have battles they need to fight_

_Why can't they just stop_

_And let their daughter have privacy?  
_

_But yes, I'm calling you guys out,_

_And I'm ready to shout_

_That tonight, I'm sneaking in_

_Hey now, I'm sneaking in_

_I'm watching them do their thing_

_Yes, I'll watch my moms_

_Do all that just for payback_

_Do worse things than TMZ  
_

_Because they snuck into my diary_

"WHAT?"

"NO! NO! NO! WE'RE NEVER LOOKING IN THERE AGAIN!"


	13. January 12: Michiru’s Love Poem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A love poem from Michiru’s POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sister’s in the hospital and my schedule’s been out of wack with switching custody and shit like that, so I decided to put up something quick so I wouldn’t lose my streak.

My lover is one with the wind and sky

She can shake worlds, and she shook mine

I don’t know what my life would be

Without Haruka, my sweetie

I know some people might think this is wrong

And people change our love to be more tasteful 

But they can never change the doki-doki feeling I get

When I see her doing literally anything 

Fighting, sleeping, racing, or even raising our little firefly

My heart bursts in joy, in love

And for every critic, every censor

There’s one hundred reasons why I love her

She’s perfection, she’s grace, she’s my Haruka, and I’d never want her to change

 


	14. January 13: How To Start A Fandom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka and Michiru start a fandom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt pretty lonely in my new one person fandom, so I made my favorite lesbians help me not feel lonely anymore.

Nobody really knew this, but Haruka and Michiru loved to hate on late-night anime. At otaku-o-clock, while nerds everywhere were parked in front of the TV and regular people were sleeping, Haruka and Michiru were in bed with their toys, TV in front of them, making jokes about the plot holes that each show left and, in the case of the mahou shojo genre, the inaccuracies they had to real life. But a few days ago, during their first “anime jokes and bed” session of the new anime season, they found the first anime they actually liked.

It was called Magical Girl Spec-Ops Asuka, and two days after it aired, the couple already watched the premiere episode 5 times, went to the bookstore, got the manga, and read all the issues that were available.

”THIS SHIT IS AWESOME!”, yelled the couple as they put down the latest volume. 

“When will it be Friday night again?”, asked Haruka.

“In five days, but I’ll look it up online and see if there’s any fanpages.”, replied Michiru.

One Google search later, she found out there was nothing but an official Twitter, a few uploads of the OP, a few screenshots with captions like “this is lit” and one fanfiction poem. 

The two looked at each other, and yelled, “THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!” 

Within the next hour, cosplay was custom ordered, the next manga volumes were pre-ordered, a lecture hall was rented and this sign was everywhere online:

 

”FRIDAY AT OTAKU O CLOCK

MAGICAL GIRL SPEC-OPS ASUKA EPISODE 2 VIEWING PARTY

RSVP ON TENOH.COM/ASUKA

BE THERE OR MISS OUT!”

The two girls smiled in delight, but then realized that something was missing. Something to lure in people.

At the end of the sign, Haruka added in in big bold letters:

”THE SAILOR SENSHI* WILL BE THERE!

*THE OUTERS AND CHIBI MOON WILL TOTALLY BE THERE, INNERS MIGHT COME IF URANUS AND NEPTUNE SUCCEED IN CONVINCING THEM”

The tickets sold out faster than you could say “Who laughs last laughs the best.”


	15. January 14: Popping It Open for The 20's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They'll never get to come of age thanks to the Silver Crystal, so these lesbians get Sprite!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really quick cause I have work to do tonight, but I didn't want to stop the streak lmao

"Hey, today's Coming of Age Day!", said Michiru once she looked at the calendar in the bedroom.

"Nah, who cares.", said Haruka.

"The people turning 20 do!"

"Fuck it, we're eternally 16! We'll be stuck with fake IDs for our whole lives!"

Hotaru then walked in on the conversation, ran to the fridge and got the Sprite cans, and ran back to their room.

"But you don't need a fake ID to have a Sprite! Here you go. Don't become a meme this time!"


	16. January 15: Old Lady Setsuna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka and Michiru question Setsuna's age.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is just a big Sera Myu reference, so if you get the jokes, kudos to you!

"Haruka, your birthday is coming up. In twelve days, right?", asked Setsuna, typing away on her computer. It was nighttime, and Hotaru was over at Usagi's house, having a date with Chibiusa, so her three moms were enjoying a night to themselves. 

Haruka nodded. "I'll be seventeen. Again. We went over this yesterday, us soldiers of justice never age."

Michiru ran out of the bathroom, screaming, "YOU'RE WRONG! Because we have an old lady in the room!"

"Are you calling your lover old? I'm eternally seventeen, just like you!"

"No."

"Hotaru just rapidly aged a few years ago, but she's gonna be twelve forever, so it doesn't matter."

"Yup, but don't play dumb, honey, you know who we're talking about."

The computer was loudly shut. "Did you, just call, me, uh-uh-oh-the O word? You can't say that word around me."

"How old are you?"

"Uh, uh, I'm..."

"Come on, you're older than the Emperor. And he's so old, he's retiring!"

"OK, fine. I'm twenty-three!"

"YOU'RE LYING!"

"Just kidding, but if you want human years, than nine hundred twenty six."

"THAT MAKES MORE SENSE!"

"On your birthday, I'm gonna get a seven year old card and write the numbers 9 and 2 by 7."

"THAT'S IT! NO PRESENTS FROM ME, HARUKA TENOH!"

 


	17. January 16: I Can Never Get Away from Chibiusa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The radio discovers Mata Mata Chibiusa Desu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't know this song, then you have a sad life: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylRAi9iZE8U

It was a nice day, hotter than the usual bitter cold of January, so Haruka decided to go on a drive in her new Lambo, with Michiru joining her. As the happy couple drove across the busy streets of Juuban, the radio turned on, and a familiar voice filled the speakers:

"MATA MATA TOTSUZEN NO CHIBIUSA YO!

MODOTTE KICHATTA NO SAN-JUN SEIKI KARA!"

The peaceful drive then turned into chaos.

"Wait, is that Chibiusa?", asked Haruka

"It has to be!", said Michiru. "It's her voice, she said her name, she said she's back from the 30th century. How many little Chibiusas are there that time travel?"

"Cute.", said Haruka. "Michiru, send it to Hotarusa." That was their secret ship name for Hotaru and Chibiusa, and the two loved being called that.

Within an instant, Michiru sent a video and typed out "Out driving and we heard someone familiar..." As she hit Send, the station changed from that to the normal driving station, which played violin music. But instead, a similar-sounding song was on.

"USAGI NANAKA WA HOTTOITE!"

"Again?" Flip.

"NE NE KAWAII MON!"

"Is Hotaru pranking us?" Flip.

Cutesy music. 

"This is a joke." Flip.

"THE TEST IS NOW OVER! WE CAN HACK HARUKA'S CAR YAY!"

"HOTARU?????"

She got grounded. Again.

 


	18. Janurary 17: Three Moms Are Better Than One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotaru's teased for having three moms.

“Hey, kitten.”, said Haruka, coming into Hotaru’s room. “Ready for school?

 

“No. I’m feeling ill. I don’t want to go to school today.”

 

“Come on Hotaru, you’re very smart! There’s no way you wouldn’t want to go to school.”   
  


“But I’m not feeling good, Haruka-papa!”

 

“Ok, kitten.” Haruka then turned and yelled to Michiru, “Get the thermometer! Hotaru’s not feeling so good!”

 

Michiru then ran in the room, putting the thermometer on Hotaru’s head. After a few seconds, the thermometer beeped, with a temperature of 98.7 degrees. “Perfect. Is there anything bothering you?”   
  


“I just don’t want to go to school, Haruka, Michiru.”   
  


“Why? You love school!”

 

“It’s a long story…”

 

Then, Hotaru explained everything to her moms, about what was going on at school. It all started with a Bill Nye theme song parody…

 

“BILL NYE, THE COWS JUST DIED!”

“BILL NYE, THE RUSSIAN SPY!”

“BILL NYE, YOUR MOM’S A GUY!”

  
The class broke out in laughter, but one kid, Saitou, asked, “Is it possible for your mom to be  a guy?”   
  


“Yeah.”, said another kid, Higashi. “Hotaru’s mom’s a guy!” Everyone laughed but Hotaru, who was fuming. “HARUKA-PAPA IS A WOMAN, GOD DAMN IT!”

“But then how is she your papa if she’s a girl?” Everyone laughed, and Hotaru cried.

 

Later that day, Hotaru was playing when Higashi came over to her. 

“You’re an idiot!”

“You’re an asshole!”, Hotaru fired back.

“Your mom’s an asshole!”, Higashi yelled.

“What one?”   
“HAHAHAHA! Look, Hotaru has more than one mom! She’s weird! Hahaha!”   
  


By the time Hotaru was done, she was crying.

“Who cares about those assholes?”, said Michiru.

“Yeah. Those jokes are stupid. It’s not right for them to do that.”, said Haruka. “Besides,” she leaned into Michiru’s face, “they don’t know what true love is.”   
  
The two kissed, and Hotaru stopped crying.

“YESS! Ok, I can go to school now! Arigato for caring about me!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you or someone you know is getting bullied, don't just stand by. Whether if it's for their interests, looks or just because they have three moms, it's not right to tease others or let it happen. Tell a teacher, principal, parent or trusted adult about what's going on and they'll be able to help you. If they won't help, go to a bullying hotline or chat room and a volunteer will help you sort out your feelings. Don't let bullies win! Sailor Saturn says! Heehee, see you!
> 
> *yes i wrote a sailor says psa*


	19. January 18: Overloaded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In an AU where Haruka's autistic, she has sensory overload at a crowded grocery store. But it's Michiru's love that helps her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't judge the utter terribleness of this fanfic, I wrote it when I was having sensory overload from annoying classmates to cool down and I decided to make Haruka have it in the AU because she's the senshi I can relate to the most.

Long lines extending to the freezer aisle. Crowds inched up around her, sweat getting on her neck and the feel of another's itchy lace dress. Loud noises, from babies crying to the idiotic banter between two boys over what turkey to get. Haruka Tenoh just wanted to scream, "I'M A CELEBRITY, GET ME OUT OF HERE!" and flee the Juuban Supermarket. But she was forced to go alone, since she had to get food for Hotaru's class project- if she didn't, than Hotaru would get a bad grade, and Haruka would hate to be the cause of her smart daughter's terrible grades. So here she was, waiting in a long line with all the sensory overload in the world.  _Fuck. I want to kill myself right now, or take off these sunglasses so people let me cut in front of them. But I know what I have to do._

Haruka got out her phone and dialed Michiru's number. Nobody picked up, but there was a sweet voice on the other hand. One that made Haruka smile, and brought her joy within the pain.

"Hey, you reached Michiru Kaioh. I'm sorry, I'm busy right now, but leave me a message and I'll call you b-"

"Haruka? What's wrong? Did you get the food for Hotaru's project?"

"On line for that now. I was feeling overloaded, so I went and called you so I could feel better, but just hearing your voice ask me to leave a message brought me all the happiness in the world. I feel calm now. Thanks, Michiru."

"No problem, sweetheart. You're everything to me, and I want you to always feel the best you can."


	20. January 19: Tired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka writes a love poem this time.

I'm always so tired sometimes

Tired of my life

Tired of being judged

Tired of being called a boy

Tired of trying to fit in

But there's one person

In this whole world

That I'll never tire of

Her name is Michiru

And I'll never tire of her

Cause with her,

Every day

Is a new adventure


	21. January 20: Going to Korea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka and Michiru buy plane tickets to Korea to see a particular K-Pop band, but find out they broke up...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i became a blady stan today oops

"WHAT?" Haruka and Michiru screamed at each other, looking at the Wikipedia page for the K-Pop group Blady. They saw that the group broke up.

"But... we just became fans! Like, a few minutes ago!"

"We'll never be able to see them in concert!"

"And we bought plane tickets to Korea to see them!"

"WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?"

"This is sad. Alexa, play Blood Type B Girl."

The music started, and then Haruka and Michiru started dancing. After a few glasses of wine, stripping down a little and ten repeats of the song, Michiru ran to where she kept her violin, and started playing along with the song. The violin complimented the song really nicely, and the two were having a good time.

"Well, this is way better than a concert.", said Haruka.

"Why? I mean, now we have to give the plane tickets to Seoul away.", said Michiru.

Haruka then spilt the wine in the sink, ran to Michiru, and kissed her. 

"Because you're playing. And the sound of that lovely violin is better than any K-pop idol. Because I freaking love you."


	22. January 21: Adolescent Shark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adolescent shark... wait, NANI?

Haruka was looking at her bank account, frustrated. Sure, most people would be satisfied with 999,999,990,000 yen, but she wasn't. "What should we do, Michiru? We're broke, and Chibi doesn't come again until the 7th!"

Michiru smiled. "You know that stupid Baby Shark video Hotaru used to watch?" Haruka groaned. "Well, if that thing in the correct order got 2 billion views, we could make a mixed up Hotaru edition for it and it would be more popular!"

"You're right..."

An hour later, the video  _Adolescent Shark_ by _HaruMichi_ _LearningSongs_ was #1 on trending. It was the same thing as Baby Shark, but with different lyrics that represented Hotaru's rapid growth:

_Adolescent shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_

_Adolescent shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_

_Adolescent shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_

_Adolescent shark!_

_Baby shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_

_Baby shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_

_Baby shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_

_Baby shark!_

_Toddler shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_

_Toddler shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_

_Toddler shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_

_Toddler shark!_

_Adolescent shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_

_Adolescent shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_

_Adolescent shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_

_Adolescent shark!_

_Teenage shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_

_Teenage shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_

_Teenage shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo_

_Teenage shark!_

_The Silence is coming, doo doo doo doo doo doo_

_The Silence is coming, doo doo doo doo doo doo_

_The Silence is coming, doo doo doo doo doo doo_

_The Silence is coming_

_Safe at last, doo doo doo doo doo doo_

_Safe at last, doo doo doo doo doo doo_

_Safe at last, doo doo doo doo doo doo_

_Safe at last!_

After YouTube automatically gave them a trillion yen, the pair smiled.

"We should make stupid kids songs more often."

 


	23. January 22: On Love, Eros

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michiru skates for only one person- Haruka.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I injected another AU into this drabble series.

The music started, and all eyes were on Michiru Kaioh. Her black outfit complemented her sea-colored hair, making her an irresistible feast for the eyes. But on the ice rink, as Michiru skated elegantly, she thought of only one thing.

No, her violin or her easels weren't on her mind. Neither was her parents, whom she left to pursue this one person and her duty as a Sailor Senshi. But the said one person, was in the crowd, happily cheering. No words. Just beauty, and grace.

This person, on Michiru's mind, nobody knew who but the two of them- a little secret the two famous girls shared. 

This person was Haruka Tenoh.


	24. January 23: Easy Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka would give up everything for Michiru.

"Um, Haruka?", asked Hotaru as she stuffed some flatbread in her mouth. It was dinnertime, a time where Hotaru was known to ask her moms and friends questions that didn't really make sense.

"Yeah, kitten?"

"If you had to give up all of your cars and helicopters and cool stuff or give up Michiru, what would you give up?

"Kitten, I'd do anything for Michiru. I'd give up every last cent I have, my powers, even my hair, for her."

Michiru quickly swallowed the food in her mouth, and then looked at her lover, happy.

"Do you really love me that much?"

"You already know the answer."

They kissed so long, the food got cold.


	25. January 24: The Final Lap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's something better than the checkered flag waiting for Haruka.

As Haruka flew past the lap end line, she grinned in happiness. The announcer yelled, "It's the final lap, and Haruka Tenoh is ahead of everyone by a long shot!" 

_Yup. It's obvious._

Her car flew past the crowd, who wasn't giving any fucks about any other car in that speedway. Their bias was obvious. "HARUKA! HARUKA!"

_Winning feels good. This is what I love to do. But there's something better than the glory that I'll get when I pass that checkered flag._

VROOM! The car flew past the finish line, blowing the flag away. Cheers were in the air, and Haruka got out of her car, waving. But she then turned to the audience, and ran across the stands. Racing fans tried to get pictures and autographs, but that wasn't what she wanted, and once people realized that, they all stopped. After all, the saying in the racing community was "Haruka does what Haruka wants".

Once she got to her destination, it felt like glory. Michiru was there, smiling. 

"Good job, my love."

"Thanks. What do you wanna do tonight? Date? Patrol the streets? Fuc-" 

A smooch interrupted the inappropriate remark.

"I'll take the mystery option and do all three, because whatever I do with you, that's an adventure."  
  



	26. January 25: Crushing Over You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short drabble about Michiru screaming for her love.

*This is a flashback to when the lesbians were at Mugen*

During acting class, Michiru and her classmates were playing a game where they had to cross the room a certain way. Some seemed realistic, like getting all As, where some were overly silly, like the floor was Jell-O. But the acting teacher just said, "Alright! Last one- cross the room like your crush is waiting for you!"

Other people just smiled and walked shyly, but Michiru ran real fast, screaming.

"HARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"


	27. January 26: Haruka’s Birthday Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michiru does some sneaking...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Australian friend on Instagram and I were talking, and she mentioned that Australia Day was today (it’s Haruka’s birthday in Australia) and that there’d be fireworks. I decided to repurpose said fireworks for the real holiday..:

Michiru was being checked out at the fireworks store, where she had about 2000 cannons.

“Are you sure you want this, ma’am?”, asked the cashier as she came up, carrying her load with Setsuna and Hotaru helping. “There’s nothing really going on, unless if you count-“

“Of course.”, said Michiru. “I know these aren’t in season, but it’s for someone’s birthday tomorrow.”

“Sailor Uranus’s? To be completely honest, I’m going to the park tomorrow for that party.”

Michiru happily nodded. “We’re very close!”

After Michiru left the store, she smiled in happiness. “This is going to be awesome! Haruka is gonna be so surprised.”

Hotaru then asked, “But how did you get them to do that?”

“Alter ego.”

* * *

 

“We’re home!”, exclaimed Michiru as the three girls came back in the house. They dropped off the fireworks to the company that was doing the display, so nothing seemed suspicious.

“Hey!”, said Haruka. She was smiling happily when she saw Michiru. “So, how are you gonna top the Lambo tomorrow?”

“You’ll see, Haruka.”


	28. January 27: Haruka's Birthday Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On Haruka's birthday, she gets a surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARUKAA!

It was nighttime on Haruka's birthday, and Haruka was sitting on the couch, bored. Michiru had to run a lot of errands, since it was a Sunday, and Hotaru was out playing with Chibiusa and some of her other friends from school. She turned on the TV, and the news anchors were talking about random stuff, like the weather and international politics. Then, they mentioned, "There will be a fireworks display tonight at Shiba Park in honor of Sai-"

The TV shut off immediately, and Haruka turned over. Michriu was transformed into Sailor Neptune, holding the remote, along with Setsuna transformed into Sailor Pluto and Hotaru transformed into Sailor Saturn.

"Michiru, Setsuna, Hotaru? Is there a battle we have to go-"

"Henshin yo, bitch."

After a quick transformation, Sailor Uranus ran to the garage to get her helicopter, but Neptune stopped her. "Come on, we're going in this thing." She opened the door, and there was a limo, where the others quickly filed in to. 

"Why do we need a limo when we have 3 helicopters, a motorbike, a Ferrari, a Lambo, a Porsche and a race car?"

"It's your birthday, you're not driving and this isn't to a battle."

"But why are we transformed?"

"You'll see."

* * *

 

The limo stopped at Shiba Park, where there was a huge crowd shouting something, and then going into cheers. Usagi, Ami, Rei, Makoto, Minako and Chibiusa all ran to the limo, and opened the door. 

"Come on, guys!"

Saturn and Chibi Moon ran back to the crowd, with Chibi Moon yelling, "She's here!"  _Who's here?_ , thought Uranus as the other Senshi hugged her and pulled her in a long chain, with Neptune leading. The cheering of the random crowd got louder as Haruka got closer, and once she was in front of the crowd, it yelled something.

"SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAILOR URANUS! WHOO!"

Then the noises started. Haruka turned, and there it was, a firework. 

"Surprised?", asked Neptune. 

"Very. They're beautiful, just like you."

"I'm glad you like them. Tanjoubi omedetou!"


	29. January 28: Upset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HaruMichi reacts to the closure of Sailor Moon Drops.

"NANI?"

The computer screen glowed bright in the darkness. It was 11 pm, and Haruka and Michiru were calming themselves by playing one of the Sailor Senshi video games, Sailor Moon Drops. But something was different today.

"We're sorry to announce that Sailor Moon Drops will be closing on March 28, 2019.", read the home screen. 

"THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!", yelled Haruka, fuming. "I CAN'T BUY ANY MORE GEMS? But... my event has only a week left, I really want myself and I can't clear an event without spending a gazillion gems!"

"It won't matter, Haruka. In two months, it will be gone."

"But, why? Nande would they do a thing like this?"

"Sorry, my love. But Bandai only cares about One Piece and Dragon Ball Z."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a petition to help save this beautiful game please sign it https://www.change.org/p/bandai-namco-save-sailor-moon-drops
> 
> Also Japanese vocab for those non weebs reading
> 
> nani- what  
> nande- why


	30. January 29: Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They’re tired.

It was 11:29 pm, and these texts were being sent:

Michiru: Hey babe!

Haruka: Hey

It’s late

I’m tired

I have a race tomorrow 

I think I’m going to bed

Michiru: Well, I’m going to bed too then! Just like Hotaru used to not sleep without her blankie, I can’t sleep without you!

Haruka: So I’m a blankie now

Hahaha

Good one

Michiru: Goodnight, Haruka! I will be cheering for you as loud as I can, and you will win that championship!

Haruka: We Are The Champions by Queen *Play on Apple Music*

I hope this will be my sung tomorrow

Song

I meant 

Fick autocorrect

Fuck 

Ugh

Michiru: Haha! We’re all cheering for you! Beat those straight men!

Haruka: I sure will Michiru

Ill world shaking their asses

Its really late now we should sleep

Michiru: Of course we should! Goodnight!

Haruka: Gn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost forgot to post something today so I came up with this in bed. Do you text more like Haruka or Michiru? I’m a Haruka texter, except my messages are long like Michiru’s.


	31. January 30: Beat Those Straight Men!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the national racing championships, and with her lover's encouragement, our favorite racer (unless you like the random nameless straight men) is ready to win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tired ass forgot I did a racing chapter last week when I mentioned one yesterday (don't mind I wrote that at 10 pm when I realized I forgot to write something), so I made it from Michiru's perspective instead of Haruka's. CrEaTiViTy!

Michiru Kaioh was standing in the balcony of Tsukuba Circuit, with Setsuna, Hotaru and Chibiusa, as well as Chibiusa's mom Usagi and her friends Ami, Rei, Makoto and Minako. Usually, it was just Michiru in the balcony, but everyone decided to ditch school to see this one race. It was Japan's national racing championship, and Haruka was in it, so it was a big deal. 

When all the cars were ready to go, all of the girls enthusiastically counted down to the race's start.

"5! 4! 3! 2! 1! YAY GO HARUKA!"

The next ten minutes were electrifying. All the girls in the balcony were screaming their heads off, jumping when Haruka's car finished a lap and throwing apple cider in the air when the announcer boomed, "Haruka Tenoh is in the lead!"

Soon enough, Michiru was standing there, the only person watching intently. She didn't realize it, but she noticed it when Haruka finished her forty second lap and nobody else celebrated with her.   
  
"42 YAY, um, what are you guys doing?", asked Michiru.

"Usagi fell asleep.", said Minako, yawning before falling asleep herself.

"We're coloring pictures!", chirped Chibiusa, in time with Hotaru waving a crayon. 

"I'm playing Sailor Moon Drops!", said Makoto as she stared at her phone, with the rest of the Senshi watching.

”But you ditched school for this, and you can color and nap and play video games later, after the victory party.”

”Victory party?”, asked Makoto. “But what if Haruka-chan loses-“

”I’ve known Haruka forever, and she’d never lose to mere straight men.”

”But isn’t watching the race like watching paint dry? It’s just cars going around 500 times straight!”

”43! No, it isn’t. It seems kind of boring at first, but once you realize it’s your girlfriend driving and she’s beating the crap out of 50 year olds at the physical age of 17, it’s entertaining. Just watch one more lap!”

The girls that were awake nodded, and went back to the stands with Michiru, going back to screaming their heads off and cheering at every mention of Haruka or photo of her on the Jumbotron.

After 2 hours, Haruka was about to reach the final lap and become Japan’s champion. Everyone watched closely. Another car was by her, so Hotaru was worried, but Setsuna told her that the other car was still on lap 499, so they were safe. 

“KEEP CALM ITS HAPPENING!”

The red sports car passed the checkered flag, and confetti and fireworks filled the arena. 

“WE HAVE A CHAMPION! HHHHAAAARRRRUUUKKKAAA TTTTTEEEEEENNNNOOOOHHHH!”

Screams filled the balcony, and the girls popped the apple cider, threw confetti, shed a few tears, and cheered and chanted as Haruka got out and waved to the crowd. Hotaru even transformed into Sailor Saturn just to break all of the crayons in celebration!

BOOM.

”WHAT WAS THAT?”, asked Usagi and Minako as they woke up.

”She won.”

”YAY WE’LL GET TO HAVE A PARTY AT MAKOS WITH CURRY AND SNACKS AND NETFLIX AND MAMO-CHAN!”, yelled Usagi, but Minako was fuming.

”Thanks Usagi! You passed the sleep bug on me, and I missed the race!”

 


	32. January 31: Sweet Victory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While the rest of the Senshi party it up, Haruka and Michiru show their love to eachother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY COW I'VE DONE THIS FOR AN ENTIRE MONTHHHH! I'm so happy! Anyways, enjoy the finale of this arc which I used as an substitute to that one big game I'm not allowed to legally mention.
> 
> And I also mentioned one of my old fanfics in here lmao

It was nighttime at Makoto's apartment, and Usagi's wishes for an awesome victory party were fufilled. Makoto made her best curry, there was every snack possible, Netflix was blaring along with music and Mamoru was there. But while the rest of the Senshi were having fun, using Haruka's national champion status as an excuse to pig out on food and party, the guest of honor was alone, with her girlfriend by her side, in Makoto's room.

"Hey, my love," said Michiru as she walked in the room, where Haruka was in bed.

"Hey."

"You won! You should be celebrating! Let loose and have fun, my love."

"I don't really care about that. It's good enough that I made it, but I don't really care for socializing, you know."

"Well, should we lock the door?" Michiru smirked, knowing her piece de resistance for Haruka's happiness. Haruka perked up right away, realizing what Michiru meant.

* * *

 

As the last movie on Netflix ended and Usagi napped, Minako looked at Makoto's room.

"Haruka's been in there for an hour now. Is she OK?"

Hotaru smiled and she said, "She's probably having six with Michiru-mama." Chibiusa winked back, remembering the time they walked in on them.

The rest of the Senshi fainted in shock, and Setsuna stared down Hotaru.

"That isn't anything for a 12 year old to know about!"

"I've been 12 for how many years now?"  
  


 


	33. February 1: NOZOMIIIII!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the first of February, the lesbians have some feelings to work through, so they wrote poems.

"We were both stressed about the new Magical Girl Spec Ops Asuka episode, so we wrote poetry!"- Michiru

Michiru's Poem

 

A blood-stained room

No sign of defeat

The prey is as important as grilled meat

Poor little Nozomi

Put into the fire

Arm chopped off

Like her date was expired

But there sure is hope in the world

Since terrorists are no match for magical girls

 

Haruka's Poem

BLOOD.

DEATH.

FIRE.

ANGST.

TOO MANY FEELINGS.

SCREAMING.

TEARS.

WAILING.

MORE BLOOD.

LIMBS FALLING.

CASUALTIES.

READY TO FIGHT.

and then rebel flag starts playing.


	34. February 2: I WANT A KITTEN!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotaru just wants a kitten, and one comes.

"My girlfriend has a kitten! Usagi has a kitten! Minako has a kitten! I WANT A KITTEN!", Hotaru screamed as she chomped down her cereal.

"Why do you want a kitten so bad, Hotaru?", asked Setsuna. "This house is crowded already!"

"Well, it's because it's boring being alone half the time! Nobody loves me, you're always at work and Haruka and Michiru always are, I don't know, smashing each other. If I got a kitten, then I'd have someone who loves me who lives here!"

At that moment, Haruka and Michiru ran in to the room and hugged Hotaru tight. 

"We already have a kitten here, it's you.", said Haruka.

"And we love you! You know, in a different kind of way. We love eachother as a couple, but we love you as a daughter.", added Michiru.

"Aww, really! Thanks! But I still want a kitten.", said Hotaru.

The window opened, and a gray kitten came falling into the house, landing into Hotaru's lap.

"Diana! What are you doing here?"

"Luna didn't want me staying over at Small Lady's anymore, and she's here half the time, so I decided to come live with you!"

Hotaru cried, cheered and cuddled Diana, Setsuna broke her coffee mug and Haruka and Michiru ran back to their room.

"Shit. We have another kitten now.", said Haruka.

"But as long as we have each other, we're fine." 

The couple leaned in for a quick kiss before panicking and ordering tons of cat food and a litter box.

 


	35. February 3: One Sided Prank Across The Galaxy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Setsubun, the annual bean-throwing festival, but Haruka and Michiru decide to spend it doing something savage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, Seiya fans, but I had to do this when I found out what Setsubun was.

Haruka and Michiru were standing on top of their helicopter, smiling and laughing with a container of beans.

"This was hilarious, Haruka. But do you think the beans will reach where we want them to go?"

"I mean, it's Setsubun, so we can do whatever we want. And nobody else would think to do this awesome prank!"

The wind started to pick up, so the couple stared at each other, faced the clouds and threw the beans up in the air.

"Perfect. You know this is revenge for her flirting with you, right?"

"I know, my dear. You don't like popular men, but you like pulling pranks on them!"

* * *

SIX MONTHS LATER

It was just a regular day on Kinmoku, and Seiya was just laying in bed, bored, when she got a knock on her door.

"Come in!"

Nobody came in, but something came in. A bunch of beans got sprayed in her face, along with a note.

"You flirted with Michiru, so getting sprayed with beans as revenge will have to do! From, Haruka."

 


	36. February 4: Michiru's Painting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka walks in on Michiru painting, and she's shook.

When Haruka walked in to her and Michiru's room, she was expecting Michiru to be there. Indeed, she was, painting a picture. But when Haruka looked on the easel, she was shocked at what she saw.

It was a picture of a guy, no, a girl, in a blue two-piece swimsuit, sitting sexily on a bench. The girl had eyes the color of her swimsuit, and wind-swept short blond hair. The water in the background looked realistic, like usual, the waves with a perfect stroke due to Michiru's connection to the sea. As Michiru put down her paintbrush, she wrote in pen something right by the girl.

"Haruka".

Michiru turned over, and gasped.

"Were you just drawing ecchi of me?"

"I always do. Do you want to see everything?"

After a quick look at at least a hundred paintings of Haruka in sexual poses at every location imaginable- the speedway, the grocery store, even in the helicopter, Haruka turned red.

"DO NOT SHOW HOTARU THIS!"

A tiny voice peeped out in the middle of the two girls, "What? Awe, cute. Chibiusa drew me like that too once. We were in a bed-"

"THAT'S ENOUGH! I'M CALLING USAGI!"

 


	37. February 5: Can We Fly?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka and Michiru are confused AF over their flight skills.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought of this while watching a Sera Myu crack

Michiru: Hey, Haruka?

Haruka: yeah

Michiru: Can we fly?

Haruka: duh 

yes

i have a helicopter

no, three

dont you remember

we were legit in it too days ago

two 

ugh 

autocorrect

Michiru: No, I meant...

Haruka: yes

we can fly

what world are you living on

are you stuck in neptune

Michiru: No, I saw a picture of us flying! As senshi!

"seramyucrack.mp4"

Haruka: eh

no

we can't 

sorry michi

that's just photoshop

or some shit

it's totally not our natural selves

sorry 

but we have the helicopter

*insert helicopter emoji*

Michiru: THEY HAVE A HELICOPTER EMOJI?


	38. February 6: The Relaxing Sound Of The Violin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, it's the simple things that make Haruka crush over Michiru.

The familiar notes were blasted all throughout the house. If you stepped in there, you'd notice that Michiru was practicing her violin, ever so loudly. Even if you put on headphones, it would be impossible to ignore it's notes. But nobody even tried to ignore the beauty and grace of it, especially not Haruka.

In fact, she sat cuddled next to Michiru, who was lost in her own little "Michiru Violin Land" and didn't notice her lover sitting there at all. But that didn't matter to Haruka, not even a teensy bit.

_This is so pretty, beautiful and elegant, just like her._

_In her notes, I could see her smile, her awesome personality, why I love her._

_It soothes me, relaxes me, just these simple notes._

_Even the simple things, that's what I love about Michiru._


	39. February 7: Another Year Without Mama...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Hotaru grieves, Haruka and Michiru show how cool of parents they are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been grieving all day today because today is the anniversary of the death of Shiho Niiyama, a voice actor who voiced Seiya. She's pretty much my favorite Japanese seiyuu, so I decided to get my feelings out with today's HaruMichi fic!

It was a fantastic morning in the lives of Haruka Tenoh and Michiru Kaioh. Michiru was warming up her violin, while Haruka was adding a trillion yen to her and Michiru's bank accounts.

"Now we have 5 trillion yen, thanks to Adolescent Shark.", said Haruka.

"I love it when it's the 7th. Wahoo, money!", said Michiru.

Hotaru was walking by and then went into a state of shock.

"It's the seventh?", she asked. Her moms nodded.

Hotaru immediately ran on one of the couches, plopped her head on a pillow and started crying. Michiru and Haruka then stopped what they were doing in that moment and ran towards Hotaru.

"What's wrong?"

"It's February 7th. The day my biological mom died, and the day I was turned into this crazy cyborg."

"Don't worry. I know you miss your mom, and it's hard to be like this, but at least you are safe with us instead of with your dad.", said Michiru, kissing her daughter. Haruka then followed suit, and the three of them were all crying and cuddling together.

"We'll let you skip school today and you can do whatever you want to cheer up. How about a helicopter ride?"

Hotaru screamed in joy, put some clothes on and ran to the garage faster than Tuxedo Mask could show up, throw a rose, give a cheesy speech and shout, "Now, Sailor Moon!"

 

 

 


	40. February 8: Arigato

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's been three whole years since the world was saved."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been 22 years since Sailor Moon ended but it's still getting new fans thanks to the power of love and the Internet!

As the alarm blared, Haruka and Michiru got out of the hugging state they got themselves in and smiled.

"It's been three years, Michiru."

"Three years since what?"

"Three years since little kitten beat up Galaxia and saved our asses."

"And three years since we were evil for an hour-"

"SHUT UP, MICHIRU! Anyways, I'm just so glad we made it."

"Same here. Not only is the world safe, but we are, and we get to live as a family and hug and kiss and live in peace."

"Thank god. I love you, Michiru."

"I love you too, Haruka."

The two kissed in happiness, but meanwhile in the city, Usagi was still sleeping, not acknowledging the anniversary of her success.


	41. Feburary 9: Request from Rich Fans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka and Michiru singlehandedly RENEWED Asuka.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When yo girl is in therapy at her dad's, she writes crack.

To Liden Films,

Hello! We love Magical Girl Spec-Ops Asuka so much. 

*insert million meaningful words Michiru wrote*

We're rich, so here's 5 billion yen so you can make Season 2. You're welcome.

Sincerely,

Michiru and Haruka

P.S: Follow our Sachuu roleplay account at @sa.chuu on the gram


	42. February 10: Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just the simple things are bliss.

*Michiru’s POV*

My head didn’t have a single pillow on it. But my pillow was my lover’s knees, arms streched around her as she slept. She was snoring, but it didn’t bother me one bit. Besides, her snores felt good, because it was her. My girlfriend could even do the most embarrassing thing and it would still be the best thing in the entire world.

Because I love Haruka, and cuddling with her every night just reminds me of that.


	43. February 11: Michiru's Yearbook Photo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michiru has a terrible yearbook photo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank sailorheadcanons for this story

Haruka was lying happily in her bed, flipping through a yearbook that said  _Takeuchi Middle School 1989-1990._ She skipped the teachers, zipped past the As and Bs, and finally made it to what she was looking for. The Ks.

_Hatsune Kadokawa ... Shingo Kagura... Misty Kaiba.... EUREKA! MICHIRU KAIOH._ _Wait... MICHIRU?_

The photo above the name was kind of crazy. Michiru still had the same deep blue eyes and aqua colored hair, but her hair was different. It was poofy, in an afro. Her smile had pink braces, she was making a peace sign and she was wearing a pink slap bracelet and a bunny T-shirt from Next Story under her uniform. Haruka couldn't help but giggle. That was her perfect, elegant girlfriend?

The book slapped closed, and Haruka looked up, to see an angry Michiru. "I swear, I didn't want you to find that yearbook! Any yearbook but THAT ONE! I swore to myself you'd never see my embarrassing first year photo, and you did! UGH..."

Haruka ran away to the closet, and came back with another book,  _Fukami Private School 1989-1990_.

"Do you want to see my first year photo?"

All the teachers were skipped, as well as most of the students, until the two got to the Ts.

_Kyoko Tanaka, Mamoru Tashiro, TA DA! Haruka Tenoh._

This photo was even more hilarious. Haruka's hair was long, with a headband, and she was wearing the girl's school uniform. But what made the photo stand out was Haruka's expression and the sign she was holding- it read "I Wish For A Haircut and Pants" and Haruka looked pissed. The two laughed as Haruka said, "Thank god I got that haircut and those pants!"

"Now, where's Setsuna's yearbook?"  
"Do they have yearbooks in Crystal Tokyo?"

"Ya mean Silver Millenium, dumbass!"

"Jeez, same thing!"


	44. February 12: Hotaru's TED Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotaru has an educational TED talk.

"Mama cubed, please come to the living room!"

Haruka and Michiru looked at eachother and giggled. That was Hotaru's nerdy way of calling all her moms, because calling all 3 individually would take way more syllables. They ran to the living room, smiling.  _Probably one of her funny PowerPoints,_ Haruka thought.

"Setsuna's at work, but you can show us what you made!", said Michiru.

At that moment, the TV lit up with a cover slide. It read  _What My Science Teacher Teaches Us._

The TV went to the next slide, with four bulletpoints. Hotaru quickly read them, in a funny deep-sounding male voice.

"The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell."

"They taught us that too.", both of Hotaru's moms yelled.

"It's pronounced Ur-in-is."

Haruka stood up and cheered. "Tell your science teacher Sailor Uranus said thank you for not turning her name into a dirty joke!"

"Sailor Saturn will end the world on the day we have our next test. But I doubt that, because obviously. And that's all!"

"Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk."


	45. February 13: Shower Kink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michiru likes the shower too much.

The soft violin music and the sound of water flowing filled the bathroom as Haruka stepped in. "How long have you been in there, Michiru?"

"An hour."

"Get out!"

"Take off your clothes."

Haruka did.

"Even your socks. Even your underwear. Even your bra."

She did so. 

"Get in."

Haruka was confused, but Michiru pulled her in the shower, hugging her tight.

"Did you know I have a shower kink? Now this is heaven, naked Haruka and the shower."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to make this quick because of work. It's not fun being a CEO at 14...


	46. February 14: Happy Valentine's Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Screw gender roles, Haruka and Michiru spoil each other on both days. But Michiru gets something unexpected...

When Haruka and Michiru became a couple, they weren't sure who'd give on what day- normally, girls give the guys presents on Valentine's Day and guys return the favor on White Day a month later. After an hour of going through their average bank account balances, they settled on giving each other presents on both days- they were rich enough, but Michiru's epic gift was on Valentine's Day, and Haruka's epic gift was on White Day- cause gender roles suck!

* * *

In the morning on Valentine's Day, Haruka and Michiru began the day by kissing (like usual), but they ended up making out for an entire hour, and they only stopped because Hotaru yelled, "I'm going to school, Setsuna's taking me and going to work, bye mommies!" and realized how long they made out. Then, they scrambled to get their bags (and envelope, in Haruka's case, since the epic gifts were too big for even bags), and threw them at each other, laughing and smiling. 

For the next hour, Haruka and Michiru were fangirling over every single little thing that was in each other's bags, and I'm too lazy to write an hour of dialogue so I'm just making a list of what they got- spoiler alert, they basically got each other the same kinds of things!

  * 1 million yen Amazon gift cards
  * 24 karat rings
  * Haurka got a RC version of her racing car
  * Michiru got her rare CD she recorded when she was 2 and lost
  * Halloween level of candy



After all the other stuff was opened, Michiru happily took the envelope containing her big gift, and once she opened it, she was screaming so loud it felt like Setsuna was there, saying "Dead Scream".

It was a poster, saying "MICHIRU KAIOH WORLD TOUR 2019", with a photo of Michiru and a schedule of dates in the world's most prestigious venues in every major country, including some places she's never performed before.

"Told you earlier that Sydney Opera and Madison Square wasn't the only places you'll shake this June. Happy Valentine's Day, Michiru!"

"Same to you, Haruka! Now, I'll have to figure out how to one-up that next month."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tour is literally a concept I came up with just so I can schedule stories for the dates I'm going to be on an island with no Internet this summer.


	47. February 15: Punching Bag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka gets her first piece of anime merch.

As the credits rolled on Magical Girl Spec-Ops Asuka and Michiru cuddled by Haruka's neck, she remembered something.

"Hey, Haruka? I forgot to give you one of the presents I got you for Valentine's Day, I'll go get it right now!"

"But you'll miss the preview for next week-"

Michiru was already gone, footsteps running down the stairs.

"Welp, she seems pretty excited. I mean, if she's running around the house naked, even though it's Otaku O Clock and nobody but weebs are up, that means something."

She ran back up with boxing gloves and a punching bag. "A punching bag. To vent your frustrations."

"Why is this so special and exciting?"

Michiru turned the bag over, and Haruka started dying of laughter.

"OH MY GOSH YOU REALLY DID THAT OH MY FUCKING GOD YESS THIS IS AWESOME!"

The punching bag had a photo of Abigail from Spec-Ops Asuka on it- also known as the character that Michiru and Haruka love to hate.

"Now, shall we go back to fucking-"

Haruka was punching the bag, yelling "YOU BASTARD I WON'T FORGIVE YOU FOR CHOPPING OFF NOZOMI'S ARM FUCK YOU FUCK YOU LITTLE GODDAMN WHORE BITCH...."


	48. February 16: Double Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The straightest couple and the gayest couple go on a date at a restaurant.

The server walked to the table she was assigned to at Meiko's Restaurant, but she was shocked at how different the two couples that were sitting there were. One was an elegant, obviously rich couple, with a blond girl and a blue haired girl kissing each other in Gucci clothes.  _Wait, that's Haruka Tenoh and Michiru Kaioh, and a couple of nobodies?_   The other, was just an odango-haired blond girl ranting to her boyfriend at the speed of light.  _Why is a rich ass celebrity couple with these guys? Oh well._

"Welcome to Meiko's! What would you like today?"

Haruka smiled and said, "I'd like the Florette Sea and Earth salads with extra golden caviar and baby leaves and Screaming Eagle Second Flight Cabernet Franc Merlot dressing."

The server struggled to write down the expensive order, which would come to at least 110,495 yen, but then Michiru piped in and yelled, "I'll have the bluefin tuna ohtoro sashimi, please!"  _More writing._ The unknown boy then added, "I'll have the short rib chili", and then lastly, the unknown girl obnoxiously yelled, "I'LL HAVE 5 SERVINGS OF THE DINOSAUR CHICKEN NUGGETS WITH EXTRA FRENCH FRIES AND A LOT OF KETCHUP!"

"Ok, you know that's expensive, right?"

"HARUKA-CHAN AND MICHIRU-CHAN BREATHE MONEY!", yelled the unknown girl again.  _Mental note: call her "dino nugget girl"._

"Ok..."

After the server delivered the order, she spied on Haruka and Michiru's table, just to see how interesting things got. Dino nugget girl was excitedly yelling about something and spilling the complimentary water everywhere, much to her boyfriend and the other couple's disgust. 

"Usagi, this isn't the restaurant where you throw peanut shells on the floor! STOP IT!"

"But Mamo, it's fun!"

"Why did you even take them with us, Haruka?"

"I thought it would be fun."

"Ugh, right."

A few seconds later, the server was called back with all the food that Haruka, Michiru, Usagi and Mamo ordered, and she ran back to their table and whipped them out. But as everyone else took tiny bites of their food to start eating, Usagi cheered, took her ketchup, and yelled, "VOLCANO!" 

Ketchup was all over the table, and it ended up staining the server's white uniform, the white covers, and Haruka's white suit.

"That settles it. No more double dates!"

"But Haruka, why? I love getting free food!"

"My suit and her uniform and the covers are why."

The server ended up getting a 100,000 yen tip that day as an apology for Usagi's reckless behavior.


	49. February 17: Something I Generated Off A Website

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was in pain, so I literally just generated something off a website. Oops.

There was a woman standing at the water's edge.   
  
Haruka, an energetic lady in the full bloom of youth, stood alone on the beach, gazing over theroyal blue water with her resolute cobalt pools. Her tawny hair rustled lightly in the oceanbreeze. She tried to keep still despite her impatient excitement as she hummed "Iris" to herself.She wore an alabaster bikini top, her light-colored, tinted with khaki, back covered only by a thin bit of string, and an aquamarine skirt that showed off her bloom-colored-flushed lily-whitecalves. Her blonde hair was trimmed short around her head, complementing her uniqueplatinum, tinted with light brown, visage. She stood, awaiting her love.   
  
It all started when she found herself in mortal danger. She truly feared that her life would end that day, but Michiru was her unexpected savior. From then on, they were inseparable. They shared every part of their life with each other. That was how it was to this very day. 

Haruka's cerulean spheres spotted Michiru further down on the beach, closer to the roaring sea.Her lovely hair rippled behind her in a turquoise wave. Her pools were turned toward the ocean, hidden from Haruka's sight, but she knew and loved their childlike olive hue. She was dressed in refined garb befitting her station. Her skin was ivory, tinted with ochre, and her form was slight.As Haruka drew nearer, she caught a note of Michiru's familiar perfume: a sweet, rich lavender.She smiled to herself. It always reminded her of the time they shared. "Kitten," she called, walking towards her.   
  
She jumped a bit before turning around, smiling shyly. "Oh, Haru-chan! I-It's nice to see you."   
  
Haruka smirked. "Good to see you. C'mon." They began their leisurely walk along the ocean's edge. 

"So," Haruka began, "how've you been lately? Anyone giving you trouble?"   
  
"Oh, n-no," Michiru stammered, "not at all, Haruka. Everything's been going well, and, um...."She blushed. "I missed you... that's all."   
  
Haruka let her hand fall across Michiru's back, muttering quickly as if almost embarrassed, "Yeah, I missed you too." Michiru was silent in response, only leaning toward Haruka's warmth. "You're a good person. You know?"   
  
"Why do you say that all of a sudden...?" she murmured. "I'm not that especially good."   
  
"I figured you should know." Haruka glanced at her before placing her hands behind her head. "Hanging out with a rascal like me hasn't changed you a bit."   
  
"You shouldn't say that about yourself," Michiru whispered. "You're not a rascal. Just strong of spirit."   
  
Haruka laughed at herself and looked up into the sky, dropping her arms and thinking about all the things that had been said of her, and the stumbling blocks that still kept them apart, and the simple feeling that she was corrupting something pure whenever she hung around Michiru. "Not really. But if you say so."   
  
Michiru slipped her soft hand into hers. With a little smile, she stated, "You're so good to me, Haruka. I can never tell you enough how much you mean to me." Haruka held her hand and thought to herself that that was enough -- that if she meant something good to this one person, nothing the rest of the world said mattered. 

 


	50. February 18: Pluto Isn't A Planet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka and Michiru wear their shirts.

"Hey, Setsie!", yelled Haruka as she and Michiru ran into Setsuna's office. She knew that was an easy way to piss Setsuna off, to set the mood for what she and Michiru was about to do.

"I told you, stop calling me Setsie!"

"Ok, I'll stop calling you Setsie if..."

"3! 2! 1"

The couple stripped off their jackets, revealing matching shirts that said "Pluto Isn't A Planet".

"YOU ADMIT THIS IS THE TRUTH!"

Hotaru then ran in, and took off her jacket too, revealing the same shirt. "Yeah, Setsuna-mama, I'm smarter than you cause I know the truth!"

"Hey, that's mean! Can you stop?"

"Never!"

"SMH! Why? NANDEEEEEEEEEEE?"


	51. February 19: How Eternal Eternity Came To Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How the heck did Haruka and Michiru record a DUET?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eternal Eternity was stuck in my head today, so I came up with a story about it. 
> 
> P.S: HAPPY 50TH STORY, SELF! YAY! Only 315 more stories to go...

Hotaru and Chibiusa ran inside the recording studio, abandoning the Girl Scout cookie booth that they were working at, and jumped right into Michiru's arms, replacing the violin she was holding.

"MICHIRU-MAMA!"

"MICHIRU-MAMA IN LAW!"

"What is it, girls?"

"NOBODY WANTS OUR COOKIES! We tried everything, but nobody will come get them!"

"And we even transformed, but they were like  _nice costume_ and didn't even buy anything!"

"I don't want to give them all to Usagi-mama..."

The two girls took off their Girl Scout vests in unison.

"I have an idea!"

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Usa?"

"HARUMICHI LOVE SONG!"

"Wait... but we can't sing..."

Within the next minute, Haruka was dragged into the recording booth by the force of both Hotaru and Chibiusa pushing, headphones were placed, and Hotaru found a beat online they could work with. 

"You're not leaving until you come up with a hit that we can sell online and get money for our Girl Scout prizes! 3, 2, 1, GO!"

* * *

Five minutes later, Haruka and Michiru were crying of embarrassment and making out, frequently interrupting each other by cries of "My ears hurt." and "Thank god I stuck to the violin!" But with the push of a button, the song was done, sent to Spotify and Apple Music, and shot to #1 in only a few minutes.

"WE DID IT! We made enough money to get the entire troop the grand prize! Thanks!"

After Hotaru and Chibiusa left, Michiru was in so much regret that she couldn't even play the violin that day.

"I'm so embarrassed... I hate sappy love songs..."


	52. February 20: Blessing More Cities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dress rehearsal of Michiru's tour setlist makes Haurka and Hotaru die of laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS DEDICATED TO THE PUNKS WHO'VE BEEN HERE SINCE JANUARY CAUSE YOU'LL GET THE REFERENCE TO ONE OF THE FIRST DRABBLES/STORIES/WHATEVER YOU WANNA CALL EM!

Haruka, Setsuna and Hotaru were sitting alone in the first row of the concert hall they rented for Michiru to practice at. She was finally ready for her first run through of her tour for the summer, and everything was going to be the same- the outfit, the song choices, even the pre-show playlist.  _I can't believe she's practicing four months in advance. I swear, I could rewatch the entire Sailor Moon anime in four months-_

Haruka's thoughts were interrupted by a familiar beat coming out of the speakers. It seemed funny, almost out of place.  _80's synths at a violin concert?_

Then the laughter kicked in. Haruka looked at Hotaru, who was laughing her ass off and smiling. 

"Haruka-papa, we did it!"

"Did what?"

The vocals kicked in.  _I hear the drums echoing tonight... wait a minute..._

Thought was replaced by laughter and smiles.

"I guess we got a permanent spot on the pre-show playlist!"

"Here's to blessing the rains in Australia, the Americas, Europe, Asia AND Africa!"

* * *

 

When the song ended and Michiru came out in her teal dress, ready to start, Haruka shouted, "I LOVE YOU KITTEN!"

"I love you too, Haru-chan! I was gonna ask you what song you wanted to be the last on the pre-show playlist, but I know you too well."

"You sure do! The rains are blessed, now bless our ears!"


	53. February 21: Saved By The Doorbell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Usagi treats our favorite couple to her famous rice- but they may or may not escape...

"Why do we have to go to Usagi's house for her fried rice?", complained Haruka and Michiru when Chibiusa pulled them by the doorstep.

"It's an apology for the disaster at Meiko's last week, but I doubt it will do any good. Besides, her rice sucks."

Sadly, the two rang the doorbell, giving each other look of horror. Usagi answered the door, smiling, not noticing the terrified expressions on her guests' faces.

"Welcome in! I made a beautiful dinner for you guys, I promise it will taste better than ketchup salad and ketchup sushi.", ranted Usagi as she and her mom Ikuko pushed Haruka and Michiru into their seats. 

When they were seated and Usagi left to make the food, Haruka and Michiru both pulled out their phones, and Chibiusa and her uncle Shingo did so as well.

"You're  **the** Haruka Tenoh, you're not having my sister's terrible fried rice!", said Shingo. Chibiusa nodded, and the foursome gave each other smiling looks as Haruka punched in the phone number for Mariya's Takeout Pizza.

* * *

 

Usagi was about to come back in the dining room with a platter of burnt rice, when the doorbell rang. Shingo ran as quick as he could, opening the door. 

"Hello! Order under Haruka Tenoh. Was this a prank, little boy?"

"No, I'm here," said Haruka as she took the food. "Thanks for saving us from Usagi's terrible cooking!"

Haruka happily skipped and placed the pizza on everyone's plate, while Usagi just stood there. After five minutes of watching, Usagi dropped the rice tray, ran to her room, and cried.

"I SPENT ALL THAT TIME MAKING MY FRIED RICE AND THEY'D RATHER HAVE FUCKING PIZZA, LUNA! PIZZA!"

"Usagi, they do have a point.", purred Luna. "I mean, have you even tasted it? Litter tastes better than that!"

 


	54. February 22: I’m Never Gonna Smile Again!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michiru’s never gonna smile again.

*Today’s HaruMichi is just Michiru ranting.*

”HARUKA! SETSUNA! HOTARU! EVERYONE! Have you SEEN my violin? My violin is missing! This is a fucking outrage, everyone! My violin! My life will shatter! I don’t care that I have 49 others, I NEED THAT ONE VIOLIN! Ugh, guess I’ll have to buy another awesome one. I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO SMILE AGAIN!”


	55. Feburary 23: Terrible Stuff I Generated Online

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This sucks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t say 365 days of quality Harumichi...

Michiru Kaioh had always loved comfy the house with its crowded, cold couch. It was a place where she felt stressed.

She was a stupid, patient, tea drinker with sloppy fingers and greasy hands. Her friends saw her as a ratty, rare rover. Once, she had even made a cup of tea for a slippery baby. That's the sort of woman he was.

Michiru walked over to the window and reflected on her cozy surroundings. The rain hammered like loving horses.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Haruka Tenoh. Haruka was a spiteful elephant with blonde fingers and chubby hands.

Michiru gulped. She was not prepared for Haruka.

As Michiru stepped outside and Haruka came closer, she could see the sleepy smile on her face.

Haruka gazed with the affection of 4972 friendly fierce flamingos. She said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want pizza."

Michiru looked back, even more sleepy and still fingering the warped guillotine. "Haruka, I love you," she replied.

They looked at each other with sparkly feelings, like two graceful, grubby giraffes sitting at a very admirable Valentine's meal, which had jazz music playing in the background and two creepy uncles eating to the beat.

Michiru regarded Haruka's blonde fingers and chubby hands. "I feel the same way!" revealed Michiru with a delighted grin.

Haruka looked healthy, her emotions blushing like a bad, bloody banana.

Then Haruka came inside for a nice cup of tea.

THE END


	56. February 24: The Water Bill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka screams at Michiru.

Usually, Haruka and Michiru never fought. They were lovers through and through, and never argued about anything. Most of the time.

”MICHIRU KAIOH!”, Haruka yelled. She slammed a paper on Michiru’s desk “Your kinky showers cost me 1 billion yen this month. Billion with a B! Did you hear that?”

She looked around, but heard shower noises in the bathroom.

”Oh shit, not again!”


	57. February 25: Hotaru Exposed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotaru gets exposed...

Michiru and Haruka were about to go on a date, but they decided to check on Hotaru first. Haruka said, "She's got to be reading- that's what school makes her do."

Michiru opened the door, and Hotaru was parked by the TV, playing a video game. _Boom! Boom!_

"Hotaru..."

The game shut off.

"Stop trying to be slick. I saw you were playing video games instead of reading."

"But I read while I play the video game!", she groaned. "I read the instructions!"

"True", said Haruka. "Keep playing."


	58. February 26- Haruka.Exe

Walking to the computer, Michiru thought about Haruka. “She’s been missing all day.”, said Michiru. “There better be an explanation.” She turned on the computer and was in shock.

”Haruka.Exe has stopped working”


	59. February 27: The Period Wars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka has her period. Michiru has her period. Oh dear.

It was the last piece of chocolate. Haruka had her period. Michiru had her period. They both ran to the pantry. They grabbed the chocolate bar. But when they both realized it was the last piece, those two fought. And boy, they never fight.

"I need that piece of chocolate because I'm on my period and I'm having serious cravings!", yelled Michiru.

"I need it because if I don't eat it right now than my period will explode!", yelled back Haruka.

"I need it because if I don't eat it right now than my uterus won't be star gentle anymore!"

"I need it because if I don't eat it right now than I'll be dead inside!"

"I need it-"

Hotaru passed her two fighting moms, took the last piece, popped it in her mouth and walked away.

"HOTARU!"

Hotaru turned back, and yelled, "I'M ON MY PERIOD TOO, YOU KNOW!"

 


	60. February 28: CAN YOU SHUT UP?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone's annoyed...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got jealous of my sister celebrating that the Jonas Brothers are coming back, so I decided to fantasize about a 3L comeback...

"AHHHH!", screamed the girl behind Haruka in the grocery store checkout line. Haruka turned, asking, "What's wrong?"

"THE THREE LIGHTS ARE COMING BACK AHH!"

"What?, screamed Haruka. She turned around and stormed to another checkout line.

* * *

Haruka was driving back home from the store, and the radio personality on air was pretty excited.

"You've heard it here first, folks! The Three Lights are coming back!"

Grumbling, Haruka flipped the channel.

* * *

 

"I'm home!", Haruka said as she walked in with the groceries.

Chibiusa and Hotaru were dancing to  _My Friend's Love_ and cheering. "WAHOO!"

"Not again...", Haruka sighed and was about to walk into her room when she bumped into Michiru.

"Someone's happy her favorite band's coming back!"

"SHUT UP, MICHIRU!"

 


	61. March 1: We're Killing Disas!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yee haw

Haruka was in position with the prop gun, as well as Michiru. They seemed confident enough to be taking on a real monster, and they were sure acting like it.

 

"Oh, damn you Halloween class."

"You will not settle to wreck Japan!"

The girls turned to eachother and got ready to fire.

"READY! AIM! MAGICAL CALORIE ROLL UP!"

 

The shot was blown, and they both got the bulls-eye on the target.

Yes, a target.

Not a real monster.

 

A freaking picture of an anime monster.


	62. March 2: Movie Time!

"Hey, Haruka-papa? Michiru-mama?", Hotaru said as she walked by her moms with her girlfriend, Chibiusa by her side. 

"What?", asked both of them.

"Me and Chibiusa are going to be in a movie!"

"What is the movie about?", asked Michiru.

"It's a gay romance story about two girls who become best friends and then girlfriends."

Haruka and Michiru ran to the girls, hugged and kissed them and started fangirling.

"IF ONLY WE HAD THIS MOVIE WHEN WE WERE KIDS!"  
  



	63. March 3: Girl's Day

It was Girl's Day, and every house had a set of two dolls on display in order to bring their daughters health and happiness. Except for Hotaru's.

"Why didn't you get Hotaru dolls?", asked Michiru as she walked out of the shower.

"We don't need to use material things to bring her health and happiness.", said Haruka. "She's a senshi, it's obvious she'll have a happy life."

"True.", said Michiru. "You know what makes me have a happy life?"

"What?"

"Technically speaking, it's a who, but it's you."

The two kissed.


	64. March 4th: Not Just Playing Games

Haruka was on Setsuna's computer, typing away. Michiru walked back in and said, "What are you doing?"

"Nothing...", said Haruka with a shrug.

"You sure sound busy." Michiru walked away and rolled her eyes.

Haruka giggled.

"Little does she know I'm making a radio station of just her music."


	65. March 5th: Setting Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What could Haruka do to top Michiru's surprise?

"Do you think this could really top a fireworks show?", asked Haruka as she clicked on Setsuna's computer. Hotaru was next to her, eating a celery stick.

"Of course it would!", she replied with celery full in her mouth. "I mean, it's a radio station with all of Michiru's songs that she's ever recorded!" 

Haruka smiled, clicking on a button that would set everything up. She got up, and winked at Hotaru.

"Welp, we just have to wait until tomorrow for everything to be Gucci. After that, ta da! Michiru will have the happiest birthday ever."

Turns out it wouldn't be so happy.


	66. March 6: Michiru's Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How will Michiru react?

Michiru walked out of the bathroom in a brand new teal dress she got herself from Chanel for her birthday, while twirling in happiness. It was obviously her birthday, but Haruka was finally going to show her her present once they went in the car. And boy, was Michiru curious.

* * *

She sat down in the car, staring at her lover. Haruka still insisted on driving, even though she was in a new suit...  _typical Haruka,_ she thought. But as Haruka turned on the radio, a familiar sound filled the car. It was the ever-peaceful sound of the violin, but it felt like the ocean waves calling out to her. It was like she was the one playing...  _wait a second._

"YOU DIDN'T! How did you get the radio to play violin music?"

Haruka smiled. "Guess who bought a radio station to play your music only?"

The screams were deafening.

"OH HARUKA YOU DIDN'T!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Compare that with Haruka's birthday chapter. Damn, these are getting shorter and shorter. I bet you I'll be down to one sentence by the time the year's out.


	67. March 7: Shrine Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Usagi's loud party turns into a drinking game for Haruka and Michiru.

"IT'S MY SENSHI-VERSARY!", yelled Usagi to the applause of everyone in the room. Haruka and Michiru were golf-clapping and rolled their eyes.

"Do you really think that she had to have a party because it's the day she awakened as Sailor Moon? I don't even remember the date I became a Senshi..."

"Shh, Haruka. We should pretend to have fun. And besides, there's alcohol!"

"True. Let's play!"

* * *

 

THE USAGI'S PARTY DRINKING GAME

Take a shot:

-Everytime Usagi and Rei argue

-Everytime Usagi and Chibiusa argue (2 if it's over Mamoru)

-Everytime Usagi boasts about herself (2 if Minako does it)

-Everytime Mamoru and Usagi make out

-Everytime Usagi eats a snack

Finish your drink:

-If Hotaru gives a useless PowerPoint

-If Hotaru and Chibiusa kiss 

-If Usagi falls asleep

* * *

 

Five hours and 20 bottles each of Silver Oak and Kathryn Hall later, Haruka and Michiru were lying on the floor, talking.

"One time, I stole a suit from a kid at school and he got dress coded thanks to me."

"Hey, once I looked up  _Haruka Tenoh nudes_..."

Ami stood in between the two drunk lesbians. "Alright, Rei, call an Uber! And Usagi, never have a party with alcohol and these two ever again!"

"Fine. Goodnight.", moaned Usagi before falling on top of Haruka and Michiru.


	68. March 8: Another Love Poem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time from Hotaru’s POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry guys i didn’t want to break the streak but today’s been a rough day diabetes-wise and i can’t really process a lot of things

I love my three moms

I love Setsuna

But this one’s mostly about Michiru and Haruka

They’re made for eachother

Like husband and wife

Like PB&J

Like butter and a knife

I’m a shipper on deck

They both truly slay

And if anyone says otherwise

I’ll end them with my glaive

I love when they kiss

And hug and that ado

But my favorite 

Is when they say

”I love you”

 


	69. March 9: Make Up Test

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka takes a make up test.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GOMEN FOR FORGETTING LAST NIGHT! I literally had no time yesterday, I went to the movies and saw a musical and ate at 2 restaurants and I got home late so I didn't really have any time. But I tied that in to my first story of today- since I forgot yesterday, it'll be a double story day!

The memory stuck in Haruka's head like a sore thumb. "Haruka Tenoh, did you forget to retake your driving test?", asked the DMV clerk. Michiru took Haruka there just to start the process of Hotaru getting a license, but they caught on to a mistake Haruka made- forgetting to take her 2019 driving test. So now, she was here, in a room with a bunch of teenagers, taking a written test. She longed for the warmth of Michiru, for something to feel right. But it just felt embarrassing. As she circled the last answer and closed the text book, Haruka sighed.  _Now to sleep for three hours..._

* * *

 

"Everyone failed...", said the test proctor. Haruka felt shocked for a little bit...

"except Haruka Tenoh."

Haruka happily smiled and ran out of the test room.

"MICHIRU, I DID IT! Now let's go to Meiko's to celebrate!"


	70. March 10: The Skater's Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love on ice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back to the Yuri on Ice AU.

The music finally stopped, and there was a chill in the air. Michiru smiled, and the crowd cheered. But instead of basking in the glory, Michiru immediately skated to only one person.

Haruka.

"How did I do?", she asked.

The world stopped as Haruka closed her eyes and kissed Michiru's lips.

* * *

 

Once Haruka's eyes opened, tears were in them. Michiru smiled and said, "Why did you do this? Isn't this supposed to be a secret?"

"Fuck secrets. I love you, and I wanted to do something to surprise you more than you've surprised me.

The two happily embraced.


	71. March 11: You Owe Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka realizes something...

Haruka was stuck in the middle of a tough fight. Michiru left to pee, and Haruka was just stuck. But a song came on in the background:

”You don't know me  
Don't you think that I get lonely?  
It gets dark inside my head  
Check my pulse and if I'm dead, you owe me  
If you're lonely  
Don't you think you're on your own  
When it gets dark inside your head  
Check my pulse and if I'm dead, you owe me”

”She owes me.”, whispered Haruka as she summoned World Shaking.


	72. March 12: Anime Logic

It was dinner time, and Hotaru shoved a huge plate of spaghetti down her throat. She seemed to be eating more than usual today, which concerned Haruka and Michiru a little. “Why are you eating so much?”, asked Michiru as she took a dainty little bite.

”Some kid thinks I’m Sailor Saturn.”

”But you’re lucky that someone defied the thing that keeps people from finding out our identities.”

”What is that?”

”Anime Logic.”


	73. March 13: WE LIKE SES YALL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka and Michiru find another K-Pop fandom...

As the song played on the speakers for the 50th time and Haruka and Michiru danced around, they smiled and started yelling to the beat. “WE LIKE S.E.S YALL! WE LIKE S.E.S YALL!”

Setsuna came in, a little concerned for Haruka and Michiru’s safety. “Did you find more K-Pop?”

They didn’t listen. They were just in their own little world, dancing and singing along.

”Huh?”

Still not a single answer.

”I swear, you guys have totally otakued out. First anime, now K-Pop? And I thought that was for teens...”

Setsuna left, and the two lovers grinned.

”But we found this on her computer... she’s a CLOSET FAN!”


	74. March 14: White Day, White Car

Haruka was standing out in the open, the wind moving through her hair. Michiru told her to go outside for her White Day present, and boy, was she excited. “What did she get me this year?”, Haruka thought. 

Finally, it happened. The garage opened to reveal the gift, and Haruka screamed.

”OH MY GOD ITS A WHITE PORSCHE! THANKS MICHIRU!”


	75. March 15: Our First Kiss (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka and Michiru remember something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s short because my computer was acting up, but I’ll finish it tomorrow!

“Remember our first kiss?”, asked Haruka out of the blue.

”What one? The one at the park or the one in front of my parents or-“

Haruka kissed Michiru right in the face.

”This was where it was.”

* * *

 


	76. March 16: Our First Kiss (Part 2)

It was a park during springtime. Sakura blossoms were sprawling everywhere, and the two were alone. No parents were in sight, and Haruka looked sexy. So did Michiru, but Haruka was scared to admit it. 

The wind swept Michiru’s hair, and she pointed on the tips of her toes and kissed Haruka’s cheek. 

“What was that for?”

”Just love.”

Haruka returned the favor by kissing Michiru’s lips. 

 


	77. March 17: Cloverway Rap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka and Michiru become rappers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what you write when you find the Neon Genesis Evangelion 4Kids parody.

Haruka and Michiru looked different than usual- they both had sunglasses on and shirts that had different names on them. Haruka's shirt read "Amara", and Michiru's read "Michelle". They both smiled at Hotaru, who was holding her phone. 

"Are you ready?", asked Hotaru. 

The two nodded.

"3, 2, 1, GO!"

The two got fake microphones out and started dancing as a weird beat filled the speakers. 

"Yo, my name's Amara!"

"And my name's Michelle!"

"We're cousins, because if we were lesbians..."

"WE WOULD GO TO HELL!"

"We are just very close cousins, and that's a fact!"

"If people think we're lesbians, they can kiss my ass!"

"Just clearly friends, that's the truth!"

"Not lovers at all, or my name is Ruth!"

"See kids, come on, kissing cousins is fine!"

"But having a crush on a girl is not divine!"

The two winked at eachother, took off the shirts to reveal their senshi uniforms and kissed.

"SIKE! You thought, America? We ain't cousins, that true!"

"My name's really Haruka!"

"And mine's really Michiru!"

"We ain't lying to you, it's totally fine!"

"Love is love, all the time!"

"Don't let Cloverway lie to you!"

"We're the best lovers ever- HARUKA AND MICHIRU!"

The two finished posing, and Hotaru cheered as she hit the stop button.

"Perfect! Cloverway is gonna QUAKE!"


	78. March 18: Fighting For Love And For No Traffic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michiru needs to go home ASAP, and Haruka fights the traffic for her lover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this random memory from second grade today, and I decided to take the memory and have it inspire my writing!

"AHH! I GOT MY PERIOD!", yelled Michiru. She and Haruka were in the car, in the back of crazy-long traffic, and there was a lot of honking.

"Calm down! Do you have Advil or something?"

"Advil? I don't even have a pad!"

Haruka burst into shock, and then she went into "Crazy Driver" mode.

"SCREW IT, I'LL TAKE YOU HOME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!"

* * *

 

The next ten minutes was pure chaos. Haruka turned the car through weird shortcuts so they wouldn't have to wait, and she sped through the ones she missed- all at the crazy speed of one hundred fifty miles an hour. Michiru herself was screaming.

"You don't have to do this..."

"MY LOVER HAS NO ADVIL AND NO PADS, SHE MUST GO HOME!"

* * *

Several car accidents that Haruka caused, seven minutes and forty nine seconds and one crazy drive later, Haruka and Michiru were finally back. Michiru looked down, reached for something, and frowned.

"We had Advil here the entire time."


	79. March 19: The Lover Wars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit goes down on Senshi Game Night.

“Welcome to everyone’s favorite game show!”, yelled Minako. She smiled, and waited for the others to reply. She cleared her throat again and said, “I said, welcome to everyone’s favorite game show... THE LOVER WARS!” Usagi happily cheered, but Rei, Ami, Makoto and Setsuna looked dead inside. It was Senshi Game Night, Mamoru couldn’t come since he was studying for a test, and Minako took everything over. She insisted on playing a game where Haruka and Michiru had to prove to them that they were better lovers than Chibiusa and Hotaru, and vice versa.

“Let’s have our lovely couples come out!” Both couples did.

”OK, introduce yourselves to us.”

”I’m Haruka, and I’m dead inside.”

”I’m Michiru, and I might’ve snuck in some beer.”

”I’m Hotaru, and Alita Battle Angel is a straight washed rip-off of my life story!”

”I’m Chibiusa, and I like pancakes.”

”Interesting! So, here’s how you play. You guys choose to either do some embarrassing lovey thing with your girlfriend or do something completely awkward, and whoever is the most romantic wins the grand prize!” At this moment, Haruka rolled her eyes, knowing that this “grand prize” was probably some gag gift.

”LETS BEGIN! First, Hotaru. Would you rather kiss Chibiusa for an hour straight or eat a mountain-“

Minako couldn’t even name the food before the two were making out. Rei ordered the Alexa to set an timer for an hour, and then Minako continued.

”Michiru, would you rather drink an entire gallon of spoiled milk or in front of all of us, for 5 minutes, fu-“

”COME ON HARUKA, I’LL GET THE mIlK!”, Michiru said with a wink. 

They both ran to the kitchen and ended up drinking all the alcohol they could find.

* * *

 

“NOT AGAIN!”, yelled Rei an hour later.

”Hotaru and Chibiusa are sober, so they win!”

”YAY!”, Hotaru and Chibiusa cheered. “What’s the prize?”

”A Sailor V comic book!”

Hotaru and Chibiusa ended up rolling their eyes as the Uber came yet again.

”Rei Hino, this is the fifth time this year we’d have to take these ladies home!”, yelled the driver. “STOP HAVING THOSE GIRLS AND ALCOHOL IN THE SAME ROOM!”

 


	80. March 20: 100 Shades of Lipstick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It takes Michiru forever to get ready in the morning.

"Haruka!", Michiru yelled. Haruka ran to her, asking, "What's the matter?"

"I don't know what lipstick color to use today."

"Just use a lipstick! Come on, it's not tough!"

"No, but I'm not sure what one to use! What one?"

"How many lipstick thing a ma bobs can a girl have?"

"I've got 100."

Haruka went into pure shock. This was news to her.

"I knew you had a lot of lipstick, but not THAT MUCH!"


	81. March 21: Sera Myu Takeover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka and Michiru take over Sera Myu.

The audience was staring at the ten teenage girls dressed up as Sailor Senshi, complete with wigs and costumes. They were singing and dancing, and they looked like heaven. Except if you're Haruka and Michiru.

"The girl who's supposed to be me is too, graceful! I don't dance like that!"

"Yeah, and the girl who's supposed to be me is too shy and clumsy!"

They both whispered in each other's ear, "And worst of all..."

"THEY HAVE NO CHEMISTRY!"

"I can't watch this anymore. Get up, Michiru."

* * *

"FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!", sang the girls dressed up as the Sailor Senshi. Nobody was noticing Sailors Uranus and Neptune because all eyes were on the Eternal Sailor Moon fuku, so nobody noticed what was going on.

Haruka and Michiru were now transformed, and they ran to the girls that were playing them. The fake ones were in shock and red, and quit singing.

"What the fuck are you doing here?", whispered the Neptune girl.

"Get out.", said Michiru.

Scared, the other girls ran out, and Haruka and Michiru danced along, pretending to know the choreography.

 


	82. March 22: Michiru’s Acrostic Poem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When scoliosis is being a piece of shit, you resort to love poetry.

Hair as blond as the sun

And a smile that lights up the sky

Radiant, carefree lifestyle

Undeniably adorable

Kill me too if you kill her

Also, I can’t live without her


	83. March 23: Bed Kissing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smoochies, my poochies!

The happy couple was lying in bed after a long day of work. Haruka did a racing magazine photoshoot and Michiru had violin practice, so they barely got to see eachother all day. But that didn't matter now. Besides, now, they were kissing, snuggling with eachother.

And it felt like paradise.

Those words.

"I love you."


	84. March 24: I Generated Another Shitty Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is what happens when headaches strike at 9:30 pm and you have no creativity.

Michiru hated Christmas. She didn't just dislike Christmas, she hated it like Haruka when she got a new car. She loathed it.

Every December, Michiru would feel herself getting all lit inside. She refused to put up a Christmas egg, she snapped at anyone carefree enough to sing a carol in her vicinity, and she never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Michiru had to go to the mall to buy a happy violin. When she got there, there were so many shoppers pushing huskily around and so much Christmas music blaring sweetly, she thought her arm would explode.

Finally, she was done. Just outside the door was a cold woman collecting for charity. Michiru never gave to charity, so she started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the cold woman dropped his bells and ran on a rock. There was a dark fish right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the cold woman slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Michiru rushed out and happily pushed them both out of the way. There was a nice bang and then everything went dark.

When Michiru woke up, she was in a dreamy room. There was a Christmas egg in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Michiru's toe hurt. A lot.

The cold woman came into the room. "I'm so fearful!" she said. "You're awake. My name is Haruka. You saved me from the truck. But your toe is broken."

Michiru hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas egg up and her toe was broken, she felt quite radiant, especially when she looked at Haruka.

"Your toe must hurt kindly," Haruka said. "I think this will help." And she kicked Michiru several times.

Now Michiru felt very radiant indeed. She didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, she loved it. And she loved Haruka. "I love you," she said, and kissed Haruka angrily.

"I love you too," said Haruka. Just then, the fish ran into the room and nuzzled Michiru's leg. "I brought him home with us," Haruka said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Michiru said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

 


	85. March 25: The Reverse Card

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michiru plays the reverse card in Uno.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks sailorshitpost on Tumblr for inspiring this drabble!

It seemed like Chibiusa was going to win Uno. Again. For the fifth time in a row.

Hotaru was thrilled with her girlfriend's victory looming around, but across the table, Haruka and Michiru were desperate. 

They needed something to get them at least one victory.

* * *

 

"What do you have?", asked Haruka, looking over. 

Michiru shook her head, wanting to keep her cards a secret. But Haruka smiled and pointed at one of the cards.

The reverse card.

* * *

 

"WAHOO!", cheered Chibiusa as Haruka played one of her cards. It was the same color as her last card, and as long as Michiru kept it up, she'd be a winner in no time.

"Oh no!", yelled Michiru, throwing her card in Haruka's face. "This is a red card! Damn it!"

Chibiusa and Hotaru fist bumped, but they didn't notice the smile on Michiru's face as she put the card down.

**REVERSE!**


	86. March 26: Our Miracle Romance

Michiru ran out of the shower and slammed the door.

”Why do Usagi and Mamoru get the love song and not us? We’re more of a miracle romance than them!”

”Yeah, true. Don’t tell them this, but I think they have zero chemistry.”

”And us?”

”We do.”

As Michiru’s wet hair drilled on Haruka’s neck, the two made out, smiling.

”You’re my miracle.”


	87. March 27: One More Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michiru's sentimental Drops-is-closing poem.

One more time

I'll match random shapes

In threes, fours

Maybe fives so I can get a prism

Or six, paint pieces are dank as well

One more time

I'll hit the heart

Getting a kawaii attack

And beating the level

Cheering in victory

One more time

I'll enjoy this game

Since it's about to close

I'll miss it so much

But hey

It was fun while it lasted


	88. March 28: Lucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka and Michiru are grateful for their girl Hotaru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Came up with this chapter while researching some things for my dream campaign for president (if you're here in 2040 leakers HELLO NOW STOP LOOKING AT MY FANFICTION FROM 20 YEARS AGO) One stupid law made me think of our favorite lesbians.

Hotaru was playing outside, running around and having fun with Chibiusa and Momoko, Chibiusa's friend from school. This simple moment would be overlooked normally, but for Haruka and Michiru, this was heartwarming.

"I love having a kid like this.", said Michiru, who was overlooking the happy, sunny day on the porch with Haruka. Spring was in the air, and the sakura trees were everywhere, wind blowing the petals that represented love. 

"Me too. If we didn't have her and ended up having to get a kid, we'd have to get a sperm donor-"

"Eh, that's easy! Mamoru wouldn't give three shits... but Usagi would."

"Yeah, but it's illegal in a lot of places."

"That sucks. Love shouldn't be illegal, in any form. If it's love, it's just that."

"Unless it's pedophilia-"

"DON'T GO THERE, HARUKA!"

Hearing the scream of Michiru, Hotaru dropped her spring bonnet and ran up the porch to two of her moms.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing", the two said as their cheeks turned rosy red. But then they both ran up to Hotaru and kissed her cheeks.

"WE LOVE YOU!"

"Why are you telling me this now it's not even Valentine's Day-"


	89. March 29: The Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Well, the finale's done and I'm alone.  
> I'm on a Netflix trip here on my phone.  
> But who I am is in these episodes.  
> So don't you tell me that it's just a show."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this early because I didn't want to be a mess if I wrote it tomorrow *sad yeehaw*  
> Anyways let's conclude the Haruka and Michiru are secretly weeb trash arc! (Unless I find another anime that they should get into, they also like Yuri on Ice but are closet fans)

Just like every Friday night for the past twelve weeks, the screen faded to black, and the opening notes to "Rebel Flag" started playing. But this time, instead of being greeted with either groans of "Not another cliffhanger" or chatter about the episode, Haruka and Michiru immediately started making out as fast as they could.

"I can't believe it. I haven't felt this sad about an anime ending since Yuri on Ice. To be honest, I don't think we've liked an anime since Yuri on Ice!", said Michiru.

"Yeah. Some seasons, twelve weeks takes forever, but this time, it went by in a flash."

"But WHY DID IT HAVE TO END HERE? We just saw Peipei for the first time not counting flashbacks, we still don't know what the fuck the Babel Brigade wants, and there's at least 2 more arcs that can be animated!"

"Well, I mean, we did send that letter, so we have a 90% chance of Season 2."

* * *

During the filler commercials for shampoo and other stuff, the girls took out their Anime Trashcan, a box filled with notecards about every show they've ever watched, and took some blank notecards and pencils. It was a tradition for them to write notes about every show they've watched, including their own, as soon as the credits rolled on the last episode. Michiru usually wrote the meaningful, deep references, while Haruka just wrote memetic puns.

Michiru's Card:  _Who laughs last laughs best, and the strongest always has the last laugh._

Haruka's Card:  _I still haven't recovered from episodes 4, 8 and 11_

When they finished their scribbling, they put the notecards in the box, kissed eachother's, and put the trashcan back in the storage place.

"Hasta la vista, Winter 2019 anime season."

"We saw some shitty anime, but I'm glad not everything was shit."


	90. March 30: The Evils Of 4chan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Haruka shows up on 4chan, it's an, um.... experience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted on 4chan for the first time today... and I'm NEVER GOING BACK AGAIN!

/a

Thread: Are The Sailor Senshi Real?

Anonymous: There's no way in Hell the Sailor Senshi are real.

Anon: True that, sister!

Another Anonymous Girl: People who believe they are real are messed up.

FerrariFan: THEY ARE REAL!

Anonymous: How? Prove it, bitch!

FerrariFan: THEY ARE!

Look at all this evidence online!

tokyo.com/sailormoon

Anonymous: That's bullshit.

You're on drugs.

Anon: Have fun crying to Mommy that people who aren't real are!

_FerrariFan has left the chat_

__

* * *

 

Haruka slammed the computer.

"Those 4chan NEETs had no idea who the hell they were talking to."

 

 


	91. March 31: I’m Quitting

It’s been a fun ride, but I think I’m going to have to quit these fanfictions. It’s been fun, but...

 

APRIL FOOLS!

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you do when you forgot to write a fic yesterday cause you were insanely busy? Make an April fools joke.


	92. April 1: Setsuna's Prank

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I pranked you guys yesterday, now it's Haruka and Michiru's turn to get pranked.

Haruka and Michiru were eating pasta at the dinner table, giving eachother a dead stare.

"Don't trust anyone today.", said Haruka.

"I won't. Everyone pranks us, but they'll never be able to get us!"

There was then a scream at the computer.

* * *

 

"WHAT?", asked Haruka and Michiru, running there in a flash. Hotaru was jumping up in excitement as Setsuna smirked.

"GAY MARRIAGE IS FINALLY LEGAL IN JAPAN!", cheered Hotaru.

At that moment, Haruka and Michiru started crying tears of joy, hugging and kissing.

"YEAH!"

"OH MY GOD! I'M SO HAPPY!"

"IT'S THE BEST DAY EVER!"

"WE'RE GETTING MARRIED THIS SECOND!"

Setsuna sighed, and said, "Sike. April Fools."

Haruka and Michiru, who were locked in a kiss, immediately got out of it and started yelling at Setsuna.

"DON'T PLAY WITH OUR FEELINGS LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN, SETSIE!"


	93. April 2: Being In Costumes?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka and Michiru are in.... THEIR OWN COSTUMES?

The first notes to "Moonlight Densetsu" cracked out of the park speakers, and a bunch of kids stared at the stage, expecting a costumed character version of Sailor Moon. But as the character walked towards the audience, little did the kids know that inside, was an actual Senshi suffering.

As Michiru ran around the stage, posing in Usagi-like fashion, she thought, "Damn, this is annoying! Why couldn't I have been myself? Well, there's no Neptune costume, and Haruka made me do this as a joke-"

At that moment, another costumed character ran towards Michiru. It was supposed to be Tuxedo Mask, but she could tell by the familiar warmth inside the costume that inside, was actually Haruka.

Michiru then remembered why she did it.

So she could get paid for kissing her lover.

As the two costumed heads got close, the warmth felt so soothing, like a nice ocean current. Michiru embraced some more, but then remembered she was supposed to be Usagi, so she then tripped. "Ouch!", Michiru accidentally squeaked.

But there was something reaching out to her, trying to help her get back up. Michiru reached for it, and smiled once she got back up. 

She knew who's hand that was.

It was Haruka.


	94. April 3: Painter's Block

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michiru has painters block- until Haruka cures it.

A blank canvas gave off so much opportunity, but was so daunting at the same exact time. If there was no inspiration, than the canvas would remain blank. But if there was just the right amount, the canvas would turn into yet another one of Michiru Kaioh's masterpieces. 

But today was stressful. Michiru felt the urge to paint something, but that was a problem- there was nothing to paint.

Until something changed. There were footsteps. So gruff, yet so poetic. She felt the ocean breeze flowing in her hair, windswept sand in her teeth.

Haruka walked by, in a hurry, looking so beautiful even though she was in a rush.

Seeing Haruka gave Michiru all those oceanic feelings.

_I know what to paint now._

She then began yet another ecchi drawing of Haruka.


	95. April 4: George?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotaru learns a new fact about Uranus and uses it to piss Haruka off.

"My favorite Sailor Senshi is Sailor George!", yelled Chibiusa as Haruka passed her and her girlfriend Hotaru in the house. Chibiusa was over for a playdate, and usually when Chibiusa came over, it was peaceful. They didn't cause a lot of ruckus, and they were usually doing nerdy stuff. But today, the nerdy stuff was a problem.

* * *

 

Haruka was reading an old car magazine, peacefully, when there was a knock on the door. "Come in," she said, expecting Michiru. But it ended up being Hotaru.

"Hey Haruka! Did you know that Uranus used to be called George?"

"Really?", said Haruka, not really paying attention. "Interesting." 

* * *

 

But it turned out to be an annoyance, as Hotaru started making jokes about it that day, and Chibiusa got in on it too, pointing it out every time Haruka was in sight. Haruka was sick of being called George more than she was sick of being called Your Anus.

"Why did I have to get the worst planet...", Haruka said to herself as she retreated back to reading her car magazines. 

There was another knock on the door, and Haruka was a little worried as she said, "Come in."

Thankfully, this time, it was Michiru.

She walked in, patted Haruka's head, and kissed it.

"I love you."

"Thank you."

"No problem- GEORGE."


	96. April 5: The Weeb Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know that one cutesy anime dance? Haruka and Michiru expect a normal ball- but they accidentally get swept into weeblandia.

"Let the dancing begin!", yelled an announcer.

In her sea-blue dress, Michiru then ran to Haruka and grabbed onto her hands. They were about to romantically ballroom dance, and the feeling felt so good. 

But as Michiru looked on to see if anyone she knew was there, she noticed that Haruka and her were the only ones holding hands. 

Heck, they were the only ones wearing dresses.

* * *

 

Everyone else stood in a huge huddle and were in pink-colored wigs and maid outfits. They got their shoulders out, started moving their hands like they were beaks of a duck, and swayed from side to side. 

Instead of a romantic song, Hatsune Miku blared from the speakers, and the crowd started dancing faster.

As the rest of the crowd danced, Michiru and Haruka looked at eachother, and then looked at the flyer.

It said "Dance", but then they looked at the banner. It read, "Fun Vocaloid Dance".

The part that said "Fun Vocaloid" was ripped.

The couple then made out for a couple minutes and then ran out of the ballroom as fast as they could.

 


	97. April 6: Haruka's Intellectuallness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka finally learned an instrument, my friends.

Michiru posed in the empty arena, and she was feeling GREAT. She just finished running through her show again, and her tour is in two months, so she was in heaven. 

As Michiru walked to get her violin case, a weird noise starting filling the arena. 

"Is that a kazoo? Yep, that's a kazoo."

"MICHI BABE! I LEARNED HOW TO PLAY THE MOST INTELLECTUAL INSTRUMENT EVER!"

Michiru turned around, and it was Haruka.

Standing there.

With a kazoo.


	98. April 7: Mad Libs: The Awkward Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've been hard at work so I decided to play Mad Libs and make it HaruMichi themed.

Tonight I'm going on a date with Haruka from my English class. She has asked me out over 386 times and I always wipe her away. This time I thought I'd breathe for it, I mean why not, who is it paying? Haruka is one of those jingly kind of girls who gets straight a 's in every subject, he's kind of a violinist's mandrill. It was Friday night when I heard a crack at the door.

It was Haruka holding a bouquet of packages, she bowed and then handed one to me and said " You look malevolent my dear, shall we? I almost changed from laughter but held it in the best I could. I took her posterior and she stomped me to his car. We drove to a restaurant that overlooked the moon. She ordered garlic cloves, elephant fingers, vanilla gravy and a huge seal burger with water. I just wanted a meatball with a glass of tea, I guess she thought I was unorganized but her outfit had me lose my appetite, bright red plaid pants with a button-down shirt tucked in and over-sized dresses on! After dinner she drove me home, we talked about why magnets are so aggressive, which was brutish, and then she walked me to my hummer. She kissed me on the ligament, out of all places! Then scratched his metacarpal and said I had a frisky time, lets change again some time! I nodded my aorta yes, then quickly went inside. I felt happy seeing her again in school but we usually just say yo when we shake into each other in the school bedroom.

 


	99. April 8th: Oh How The Tables Have Turned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone else gets sick.

As the villain attacked and Sailor Uranus ran around frantically in her room, Sailor Neptune was still stuck in bed.

Her fever was almost 101 degrees Fahrenheit, and she could barely move.

But as it tried to attack her, she mustered up all of her strength and got up.

"DEEP SUBMERGE!"

The villain was gone in one attack. 

As she detransformed and went back to bed, her lover gave her a wink.

"Remember when I beat up a villain when I was sick?"

"Oh, how the tables have turned."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta da we have a sick day special because I have a 101 degree fever


	100. April 9: WHAT?

Michiru: Haruka?

Haruka: what 

what’s the matter

tell me babe

please

Michiru: There’s an alternate universe where we’re just anime characters!

Haruka: ...

what

is this a joke

you’ve got to be kidding

Michiru: Setsuna told me today!

Haruka: oh

shit

well then

better ask setsuna 


	101. April 10th: Running Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It wasn't her first choice of an activity to do. But with her lover, anything's enjoyable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 100TH DAY WAHOO! I can't believe it! I'm so happy! Let's see if I can keep this up for the rest of the year!

It was a sunny day at Shiba Park, and a huge crowd was there, running in the annual Spring Fling 5K. Among the crowd was Haruka and Michiru.

Haruka was running so fast, that Michiru would've been dead meat in the catching-up-to-her department if she wasn't gripping onto her hand. The breeze was very strong, and it was very noisy, so most people already lost track of their partners that they entered the race with. But there was one constant that kept Michiru close to her lover.

That feeling.

That feeling of the ocean breeze tingling all over her. The sensation of love-induced sweat. 

Alone, Michiru never felt that.

But with Haruka by her side, she felt unstoppable.

Running a 5K wasn't her first choice of an activity to do. But with Haruka, every little thing felt like magic.

"I love you", Michiru whispered as they made it to the finish line.


	102. April 11: Queerbait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka’s drunken text rant.

Haruka: queerbait.

noun.

the practice of hinting at, but then not actually depicting, a same sex relationship.

killing off a gay character for the heck of it.

getting a few more bucks

just for saying you have a gay

and then people come because they want change

but in reality they’re only there for two minutes

before never showing up again 

IT.

CAN. 

FUCKING.

ROT.

IN.

HELL.

we don’t all die ok hollywood?

we can be happy together too!

ok?

ok

*the next morning*

Michiru: Did you mean to send that to me?

Haruka: sorry

drunken rant

i had 6 bottles of rosé last night 


	103. April 12: Hope

Hope- by Michiru Kaioh

Hope

Is something you can’t always reach

It seems impossible 

In the darkness

When people think

Your rights

And existence

And love

Are just a game

But within that love

In her smile

Her eyes

Her windswept hair

Hope is 

Always there


	104. April 13: Haruka’s Banned From Coachella Certificate

Dear Miss Tenoh,

We regret to inform you that you are now banned from Coachella after you protested last year about our owner’s charitable donations. 

Please take your screamo energy elsewhere.

Sincerely,

Coachella

* * *

Michiru,

THROW THIS IN THE TRASH NOW OK 

 


	105. April 14: Cleaning With Criminals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At school, some shit happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was inspired by SailorHeadcanons!

At school one day, Haruka and Michiru were hanging out with Makoto and Minako during free period. Everything seemed normal. Calm, even. Until there was a knock on the door.

No, not a knock. A big slam. A bunch of thugs came in, yelling, "This school is ours!" 

Makoto and Haruka both looked at eachother, winking. They knew that they could beat the hell up out of those guys.

"You're going down!", they both shouted as they made a fist and threw it.

* * *

Minako blocked the hit with a mop.

"No violence in this school! Let's mop the floor!"

"MOP THE FLOOR?", both the Senshi and the thugs yelled.

"Get to work, hoes!", yelled Minako as Michiru got out her violin.

'Yakety Sax' was played for the next hour as the school got cleaned in an instant.

 


	106. April 15: All The Cookies...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone know Haruka and Mchiru were cookie thieves?

It was dark. There was no sort of feeling anywhere... except for the smell of cookies baking in the oven. Setsuna was baking these to give out at work the next day. But Haruka and Michiru had no idea that Setsuna had any plans with the cookies. And Setsuna was busy in her room, reading a book, having completely forgotten about the cookies baking in the oven. So, once the aroma filled the air for long enough, the two lovers ran to the oven, opened it up, and smiled. 

Nobody else was in the room. The cookies were theirs, and theirs alone.

Knowing that the smell would lure someone else soon, they equally divided the dozen cookies into six each, grabbed paper plates and filled them up with cookie after cookie. They felt very warm, and the chocolate was gooey- the best kind of chocolate. After a quick dash to the kitchen table, the couple silently took the first cookies and took that first bite.

That bite felt like heaven, and all the ones after that. The warmth of the cookie, the gooey chocolate- everything came together and made it taste beautiful. Haruka and Michiru got their phones out after they finished their first two cookies and texted each other.

* * *

 

Michiru: These cookies taste so good, I could write a poem about them!

Haruka: i dont have to worry about chick fil a being homophobic anymore 

cuz these cookies taste better

than chick fil a cookies ever dud

*did

* * *

After every cookie was eaten, Haruka and Michiru ran all the way back to their room to rest, while the alarm finally rang on the oven. Setsuna finally got up in the kitchen to open the oven, but then was in shock when she saw that the cookies were all gone- not a single crumb left.

"HOTARU! DID YOU STEAL MY COOKIES?", yelled Setsuna.

"NO I SWEAR I DIDN'T...", yelled back Hotaru from the other room.

"Ok... I must've forgotten to put the cookies in! Let me do this again, I'm glad I bought 2 cookie mixes..."

Haruka and Michiru laughed from the other room as Setsuna put the next batch in the oven.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FINALLY PUT TIME AND EFFORT INTO A STORY YEEHAW! I've been having to shaft the stories to the last minutes of my day for the last few weeks, but we had free time at school today so I used it wisely and got to write!
> 
> Also, yes, Chick Fil A is homophobic. Not my problem, since I'm allergic to their shit anyway...


	107. April 16: Here Comes The Bride!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka and Michiru get married. Or do they!

As the familiar song played in the wedding hall and flowers were thrown everywhere, Michiru walked alone on the aisle, smiling. She was tearing up. The happiest she could ever be. At last, the day came. The day she'd been dreaming about for years. She finally got to marry the love of her life.

Haruka Tenoh.

When she got to the stage and the officiant started going on and on about vows and stuff, Haruka nudged her a little. She turned over. "Hey."

"I just want to tell you that I'm glad this day finally came."

"Same here! Now we can truly start our life together happily."

Finally, the moment came.

"Do you, Haruka Tenoh, take thee, Michiru Kaioh, to be your wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part?"

"I do."

"And do you, Michiru Kaioh, take thee, Michiru Kaioh, to be your wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part?"

"I do."

The rings were slipped on.

"You may now kiss the-"

* * *

BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!

The sound of the alarm woke Michiru up.

"Goddamn it, it was all just a dream!", whispered Michiru as she turned off the alarm.


	108. April 17: Making Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rei's birthday? More like a making out party!

Forty one candles were on the cake- one for every year Rei was really turning, but she was really turning sixteen yet again. Everyone else seemed so happy, and so delighted with the cake. They were singing "Happy Birthday" to Rei, and she was ready to blow out the candles. But despite the candlelight, cake and celebration, Haruka and Michiru were in the shrine bathroom.

Locked in a kiss.

* * *

After the cake was all done, there was a knock on the door of the bathroom. Nobody answered it. 

The person knocked it harder, and finally, she just opened the door.

"Haruka! Michiru! I'm amazing, why are you using my birthday party as an excuse to make out in the bathroom?"

Nothing but kissing noises.

"Yatta. Just sugoi.", said Rei as she rolled her eyes, leaving the girls to do as they pleased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Japanese glossary:
> 
> Yatta: yay  
> Sugoi: amazing


	109. April 18: Again?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka doesn't understand a simple Internet trick.

"Again?", groaned Haruka.

Michiru ran to her, concerned that something was wrong. But Haruka pushed her phone into Michiru's face.

"Look at this mess, Michiru! They said 10 people who retweet win 1 million yen. And I retweeted 100 times, and I haven't won a single cent!"

As Haruka cried, Michiru gave her a tight hug, and then slapped her.

"It's called a scam, babe." 


	110. April 19: Booking Venues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka will do anything for Michiru...

It was night, and there was a storm outside. The winds were strong, dizzying Haruka. She felt tired, but her beer, the violin music motivating her on her headphones and her love for Michiru kept her from collapsing. She was working on managing all the venues for Michiru's tour in a few months, and it was long work, but it was fun as well.

Seeing all the stages Michiru would perform on. Seeing all the numbers of capacity, which Michiru all sold out.

Haruka smiled, and almost teared up.

"I love her. She's going to do great."

As she sipped her 20th cup that night, she shouted, "I FUCKING LOVE HER!"

Then she passed out.


	111. April 20th: The 4/20 Special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smoke weed everyday! Unless you're a Senshi.

Rap music was blasted on the speakers as Michiru and Haruka danced and sang along. 

"Take a, seeaaaaaat  
Hope you ready for the next episode  
Heyyyeyyy...."

The girls looked at eachother, winked and yelled out the final lyric.

"SMOKE WEED EVERYDAY!", they shouted, laughing.

"There's no way we can smoke weed.", said Haruka.

"I know. We can't be high while fighting crime."

Hotaru ran in as the girls posed for a selfie.

"BUT THIS IS HOW WE CELEBRATE 4/20!"

"What's 4/20?", asked Hotaru.

"NOTHING YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT!"


	112. April 21: ALMOST 6 FEET?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michiru never knew Haruka's height before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fanfic was brought to you by SailorShitpost on Tumblr. Thanks for the inspiration.

"YES! I'm finally tall enough to go on the rollercoaster!", shouted Chibiusa. It was the day of the Juuban Fair, and Haruka and Michiru were being forced to watch Hotaru and Chibiusa have a date there. "Alright!", cheered Hotaru. Giggling, the two held hands and went on the line for the festival.

As some more kids gathered to the height measurement stand, Haruka and Michiru stood there. Michiru then turned to Haruka, kissing her on the cheek.

"You never told me how tall you were, Haruka.", said Michiru. "How tall are you?"

"Five eleven."

"FIVE ELEVEN! As in, almost six feet?"

Haruka nodded as Michiru screamed louder than the kids on the rollercoaster.

"HOW DIDN'T I KNOW THIS BEFORE?"


	113. April 22: . poem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even periods can sound glamorous when Michiru writes poetry.

Drip drop

The red sea’s back again

Drowning every last bit of sand

Causing a tidal wave in the stomach

It feels like it’s going to be a hurricane

Sometime soon

Nothing can stop this mess

Except for the lifeguard 

Called Advil


	114. April 23: Body Swap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michiru and Haruka swap bodies...

Her eyes opened, but something felt off. She couldn't feel the wind, like normal. She was in a teal nightgown, on the wrong side of the bed, and there was a weird feeling. It felt like the ocean. Her hair felt like a mess. "Has it really been that long since I got it trimmed?" But she looked, and it wasn't just way longer than normal. It was teal and wavy. Her boobs were way bigger, and her nails were painted seafoam. 

_What happened?_

She looked around, and the girl that was sitting in bed with her was looking at her nails. Feeling her hair, just like she was. But this girl looked like a clone of herself. Her old self, with the same short blond hair. "Strange. I thought Michiru was in bed..."

_Wait. Michiru?_

The two looked at eachother, and gasped.

"YOU'RE. ME!"


	115. April 24: Roses Are Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Michiru poetry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what happens when you have work but you still want to put out a HaruMichi.

They were in the middle of an intense battle, and Haruka was bleeding. Michiru was uninjured physically, but she felt terrible seeing Haruka bleed.

So she got out her poetry journal, and wrote this:

_Roses are red_

_Violets are red_

_Everything's red_

_When your girlfriend's arm_

_Is red_


	116. April 25: Everything About Haruka and Michiru Written Down In Five Minutes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I gave myself five minutes to write a section on Haruka and Michiru.

Haruka Tenoh and Michiru Kaioh are the civilian identities of Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune, respectively. But these two aren't like any other Sailor Senshi- they love each other and are the only canon lesbian couple in the Sailor Moon anime and manga series. Despite this, they have- surprise- personalities! Haruka is an athletic tomboy who loves car racing, running and video games to some extent, and Michiru is a skilled violinist, painter and swimmer. As Sailor Uranus and Neptune, they wield Talismans that came from their pure heart crystals- Sailor Uranus's is her sword, which she can use to perform Space Sword Blaster, and Sailor Neptune's is a mirror, which she can use to perform Submarine Reflection- which is only used once, in the Sailor Moon SuperS: Curse of the Black Dream Hole movie. Sailor Uranus's other attack is World Shaking. Sailor Neptune's other attack is Deep Submerge, but she can also do Violin Turbulence in the Sailor Moon manga. Another notable change is that in the manga, Haruka's hair is white, while it's blond in the anime. I only have 10 seconds left, so I hope you enjoyed my Asperger's syndrome induced infodumping!


	117. April 26: Don't Spoil Endgame!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotaru saw Endgame.  
> Haruka and Michiru didn't.  
> There's war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw Endgame today! It was really good, but it's going to be SO HARD not to spoil it for my friends that weren't lucky enough to get opening day tickets. Especially for my Marvel-obsessed friend who usually sees the movies opening night but she was only able to get tickets for Sunday...

Hotaru rang the doorbell, and Michiru got it. 

"Hey, Hotaru! Did you have fun with Chibiusa?"

"Yeah! We saw the new Avengers movie! It was so sad when Ir-"

Haruka ran as fast as she could and covered Hotaru's mouth.

"DON'T YOU DARE SPOIL ENDGAME! I've waited eleven years for this and my daughter will not ruin it for me!"

Chibiusa then rang the doorbell, and Haruka opened the door.

"Don't spoil Endgame."

"But I cried when Bl-"

_Thwap!_

"Wow, that hurt! Thanks, Haruka."

"Don't you dare utter another word about that movie until Sunday at 7:30 pm!"

Michiru nodded. "I'm still mad you two nabbed opening day tickets when me and Haruka were stuck on the site that crashed and we only got tickets for Sunday."

 


	118. April 27: Nothing But Fanservice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka and Michiru come up with an anime just about themselves.

As the 100th Sera Myu song played on the car radio, Haruka came up with a brilliant idea. 

"Hey, Michiru!"

"What?"

"What if they made an anime about nothing but us?"

"Us? Why us?"

"We're Senshi, and we're the best ones, too!"

"Yeah, but wouldn't it be nothing but fanservice?"

"True."


	119. April 28: Ich Bin Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feelings.

It was midnight, and Haruka and Michiru were in bed, crying. None of their animes were on, so there was no sedatives to calm them down. 

“I can’t believe it.”, Haruka said through tears. “Why did they have to kill him?”

”Him? I was more pissed about HER! Why HER?”

Haruka shrugged. “I don’t know, Michi.”

They cried some more as Michiru got the remote and started playing the first Iron Man movie. But as the logo played, Haruka whispered something.

”Ich bin done.”


	120. April 29: Bargain Day At The Supermarket

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uranus gets some unlikely motivation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was inspired by an episode of One Punch Man.

The villain was attacking harshly. Sailor Neptune was pretty much immobilized, and all seemed hopeless, since Uranus wasn’t taking that too well.

”Ha, ha!”, yelled the teenage delinquent monster. “I’m going to be on a rampage for a whole week! Until next Monday!”

That line shocked Uranus.

”One week. Until next Monday. That means today’s Monday, too.”

”What?”, yelled Neptune.

”That means...”

”IT’S BARGAIN DAY AT THE SUPERMARKET! SPECIAL SAILOR SUPERMARKET SPACE SWORD BLASTER!”

_Boom!_ ~~~~

The monster was gone, and Neptune mustered up her strength to grab Uranus’s hand.

”The store closes in four hours. If we use your helicopter, we can make it!”

The two happily hurried off.


	121. April 30: Who Cares?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who really cares about the emperor abdicating?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today, Japan's emperor abdicated, and it was awesome because we had to watch a video about Japan in social studies because of that and you know I'm a Nippon freak. But Haruka and Michiru?

Music was blasting all across the town, and fireworks were bursting everywhere. Nothing was on TV, except a bunch of news programs and drunkens throwing confetti at the night sky. Haruka and Michiru were bored with this hullabaloo that seemed useless, and they were in bed, covering their ears.

"This is stupid. Who cares that it's a new era?", said Michiru.

"I don't. Heisei one day and Reiwa the next, nothing will change. Just some random emperor changes."

"Random? You're right. The emperor doesn't do anything. Why do we even have one anymore?"

"Because Japan."

"True."

They snuggled and covered their ears for the rest of the night.


	122. May 1: All Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michiru is home alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE'RE A THIRD DONE YAY! Please enjoy the next eight months of fanfic as much as you've been enjoying the last four months ;)

The usually lively house was quiet. Not a single sound rang through it, except for the sound of footsteps and rain from outside.

Haruka looked around. "Anyone? Anyone?"

She ran all around the house. "Hotaru? Setsuna? MICHIRU?"

There wasn't another person in sight. Haruka laid down on her bed, sighing as she did so. She picked up the note on her nightstand: "Crime broke out while you were shopping. We'll be back! Setsuna"

"I'll do my best, Haruka-papa!"

"Love you 3000. Michiru."

Water filled Haruka's eyes. She got her phone, turned on one of Michiru's violin albums and closed her eyes.

_Why did she have to write THAT?_

 


	123. May 2: Writing A Movie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michiru finishes writing her movie.

_The End._

It seemed like forever, but Michiru Kaioh finally did it. She wrote an entire movie. A 120 page script. 

"A month of hard work for one amazing movie. Yatta!", she squealed as she yelled at Haruka to come read it.

* * *

 

"No.", Haruka bluntly stated as she finished the script.

"Why? This movie is perfect!"

"Because the beginning drags on, for one. And two, why did you even injure that girl for some cheap dramatic tension?"

"Well, she was going to die in the first version. I mean, this movie was based on my Spec-Ops Asuka fanfic, and the girl who got shot was based on Asuka, so of course she'd get injured at some point!"

"To be honest, the ending sucks. It doesn't make sense at all."

"Yeah, true. I guess I gotta come up with another ending... and rewrite half of this script."


	124. May 3: Chick-Fil-A Rainbow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, the irony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This really happened to me today, so I wrote it as a fic. Enjoy!

"We Are The Pretty Guardians" blasted in Haruka's '95 Ferrari as she and Michiru drove across town. It was a cloudy day, and the couple finished watching Endgame for the second time and were on their way home from the theater. It seemed like your average car ride. But the rainbow changed everything.

This wasn't your ordinary rainbow. This rainbow was more colorful and bigger than usual. It made it seem like this month was Pride instead of next. 

"PRETTY!", yelled Michiru as she noticed the rainbow. The car stopped at a light, and Michiru took out her phone to capture the lovely rainbow. 

_Click!_

The car drove on, and Michiru stared at the photo. _But, wait a minute, was that a..._

Michiru ended up giggling. The giggle turned into a full-blown laugh, and by the time the couple were waiting at the next light, Haruka was laughing as well.

"What's funny, Michiru?"

Michiru shoved her phone in Haruka's face.

"A rainbow by a Chick-Fil-A."

The girls laughed so hard. As soon as they stopped, they locked eyes and winked.

"This calls for the Magical 5 motto."

"WHO LAUGHS LAST LAUGHS BEST!"

More laughter.


	125. May 4: A Cheesy Poem

Haruka went to the fridge to get herself a snack, when she found an envelope with her name written in familiar printed handwriting. 

“That’s Michiru’s!”

Excitedly, Haruka destroyed the envelope, smiling while doing so. But once she saw what was inside, she frowned. 

It was a sticky note that said:

”Roses are red

Violets are blue

I heard you like Star Wars 

May the fourth be with you”


	126. May 5: Cinco de Mayo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka and Michiru think Cinco de Mayo is about mayonnaise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't know what Cinco De Mayo really meant until today, so to make myself feel better I made Haruka and Michiru be dumber than I was.
> 
> Also: HAPPY 125TH DRABBLE!

The pool was not filled with water anymore. Every grocery store in Japan was having a mayonnaise outage. The mayonnaise was in the pool of Haruka Tenoh and Michiru Kaioh's house.

In swimsuits, Haruka and Michiru held hands and raised them up.

"Uno, Dos, Tres!"

They jumped in the pool of mayonnaise and started swimming (in Michiru's case) and pigging out on all the mayo (which Haruka did). 

Hotaru walked in after a while and gasped.

"Haruka-papa, Michiru-mama, what are you doing?"

"We're celebrating Cinco de May-oh!"

"You mean Cinco de My-oh?"

Haruka and Michiru stood up.

"We saw it on the calendar and thought it was a holiday about getting a bunch of mayo in a pool."

Hotaru shook her head. "It's a Mexican celebration about their contributions in the American Civil War."

"OH!" 

Haruka and Michiru both fell in the pool of mayo.


	127. May 6: The Candy Sale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Children's Day means a candy sale... and HaruMichi are HERE FOR IT.

The store had a big sign, meant to lure kids in. "HEY KIDS! IT'S CHILDREN'S DAY! ENJOY FREE CANDY!"

But instead, they lured in teenagers who have been teenagers for 25 years.

* * *

 

"CANDY!", Haruka and Michiru yelled as they ran in the store.

They grabbed literally every piece of chocolate the store had that expired after their next periods, and ran out as fast as they could.

"YES!"

"This is nice, but we gotta run out of here so the store people don't notice teenagers took their kids candy!"

"SUGOI!"

* * *

 

The next hour, there was a crowd of screaming kids.

"NO MORE CHOCOLATE?"

Little did they know that the chocolate was at Haruka and Michiru's place. Waiting for their next period.


	128. May 7: Painful AU Plot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I generated something because I’m in pain. If anyone wants to use this AU, you can!

Michiru Kaioh is a podgy, beautiful and grateful detective from England. Her life is going nowhere until she meets Haruka Tenoh, a short woman with a passion for kite flying.

Michiru takes an instant disliking to Haruka and the mean and stupid ways she learnt during her years in the country.

However, when a mass murderer tries to mug Michiru, Haruka springs to the rescue. Michiru begins to notices that Haruka is actually rather sweet at heart.

But, the pressures of Haruka's job as a homemaker leave her blind to Michiru's affections and Michiru takes up writing to try an distract herself.

Finally, when cold-blooded lawyer, Setsuna Meiou, threatens to come between them, Haruka has to act fast. But will they ever find the frantic love that they deserve?


	129. May 8: Some Senshi Are More Equal Than Others

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotaru questions her lack of a transformation sequence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My English class just finished reading Animal Farm, so I thought I'd parody it. It was pretty good, but I've written a longer dystopian novel than Animal Farm and Anthem (the other dystopian novel we read) combined...

Setsuna was at work, so Haruka, Michiru and Hotaru were alone at the dinner table. They were eating Chinese food, and Hotaru scooped up a big ball of rice before asking this question: "WHY DIDN'T I GET A TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE?"

Haruka and Michiru stared at eachother. "Uh..."

"In the anime! I had no image song as well, and I had no real attack, and I was only in 10 episodes. Toei did me dirty! What's their deal?"

Haruka gulped up some more food, while Michiru just stared at her rice bowl. "Um... how can I explain it in a way nerdy Hotaru will understand?"

After five minutes of pondering, Michiru stuffed a dumpling in her mouth. "Remember the last commandment in Animal Farm?"

Hotaru nodded. "All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others."

"Well, just replace the animals with Senshi, and you've got your answer."


	130. May 9: 7 Things You Don't Want To Hear About The Outer Senshi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotaru trolled everyone by submitting an embarrassing article to a site anonymously. It was taken down within 5 minutes, but I got ahold of the copy for you guys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also listened to the Chicken Dance on repeat while writing this, and tortured myself by listening to nothing BUT the damn chicken dance.

7 Things You Don't Want To Hear About The Outer Senshi- by AsukaXKurumi

1- Sailor Neptune occasionally draws ecchi fanart of Sailor Uranus in sexy poses. 

2- Sailor Pluto got fired from her job as a school nurse due to her missing a workday to fight crime.

3- Sailor Uranus faked a passport from a foreign country just so she could drive earlier.

4- Sailor Pluto sued Neil deGrasse Tyson for making Pluto not a planet anymore.

5- Sailor Uranus once ran over a chicken in her Ferrari.

6- Sailor Neptune and Sailor Uranus get drunk on expensive bottles of Rose. Like, a lot.

7- Every night, Sailor Neptune and Sailor Uranus have scissor sex while watching anime. 

You wouldn't believe this, but it's true! 

-AsukaXKurumi

* * *

 

Five minutes after being posted, Hotaru got this email from the site:

"AsukaXKurumi,

We had to take down your article  _7 Things You Don't Want To Hear About The Outer Senshi_ due to it being lies and not fact-based at all.

Sorry!

From,

Clickbait.com

P.S: I ship Asuka and Sayako.

At that moment, Hotaru logged out of the site and blocked it.

"ASUKA AND SAYAKO SHIPPERS ARE A SPECIAL KIND OF DEMON!"


	131. May 10: Take A Shot...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotaru's Mother's Day presentation at school is well, weird.

Hotaru smiled at her class, staring at Chibiusa the entire time. But then, her teacher coughed and rolled her eyes.

"That was a nice presentation, but you forgot to tell us your mom's hobbies!"

"Um... yeah. Setsuna-mama likes science, and Michiru-mama and Haruka-papa, well... they like to take shots."

"Shots?"

"Yeah. Shots."

"Like basketball?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"Um..."

Chibiusa stood up.

"They get drunk a lot."


	132. May 11: Too Soon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They haven't recovered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *MINOR ENDGAME SPOILERS!*
> 
> I haven't either.

Michiru was at the store, picking out a new violin. She grabbed the perfect one for her- blue with waves. 

Happy with her new purchase, she walked over to the checkout sign. Then, she got whiplashed with feels.

"Your total is 3000 yen."

"Mom, can we have cheeseburgers tonight?"

Another kid snapped, and Michiru screamed.

"NO! IT'S TOO SOON!"


	133. May 12: Mother’s Day Sheet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know those “about my mom” sheets that you do on Mother’s Day? Here’s Hotaru’s.

My mom’s name is Haruka

My favorite thing about my mom is that she has a helicopter

My mom always says “fuck”

My mom likes when I kiss Chibiusa

I like it when me and my mom drive around together

I think my mom is cool

* * *

 

My mom’s name is Michiru

My favorite thing about my mom is that she paints pretty pictures

My mom always says “let’s go on a date”

My mom likes when I don’t go into her and Haruka’s room 

I like it when me and my mom play music together

I think my mom is talented

* * *

My mom’s name is Setsuna

My favorite thing about my mom is that she’s a scientist

My mom always says “Pluto should be a planet”

My mom likes when I do my projects

I like it when me and my mom come up with cool inventions

I think my mom is smart

* * *

* * *

 


	134. May 13: Damn...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They’re not happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on my feelings today.

*POV of random worker at Big Gangan*

I was getting yet another phone call at my manga magazine job. I wasn’t normally flooded with calls, but today was different. Many people were calling- about only one thing.

”Hello, this is Big Gangan, Keito speaking.”

A familiar voice rang in the phone. “KEITO MAKE SURE THAT THERES A MAGICAL GIRL SPEC-OPS ASUKA CHAPTER IN THE NEXT BIG GANGAN BECAUSE THERE WASNT ONE LAST TIME AND IT MADE ME VERY ANGRY I WASTED MY MONEY FOR NOTHING OK OK BYE”

I rolled my eyes as the caller hung up.

”It’s Haruka and Michiru, the Asuka super fans.”


	135. May 14: Lost Cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diana's missing. So Haruka did something.

On TV. On their phones. On the radio. Even on laptop screens. Every screen in Juuban was playing the same message, and there was no escaping it.

"Have you seen a gray cat named Diana? Call this number! Million yen reward!"

* * *

 

The message beeped on Setsuna's iWatch, and she rolled her eyes.

"Seriously, Haruka? Did you really do that just for Hotaru?"

 


	136. May 15: Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's panic everywhere since I forgot to write yesterday. Thank god for make up stories...

There were screams.

All of Juuban was screaming, "HELP!"

The world was ending, and nobody would get up.

Their world had no action.

But Haruka and Michiru woke up. They looked at each other, and gasped.

Apparently they were in a girl's online daily writing journal, and their tragedy was caused because she forgot to write that day.


	137. May 16: Michiru- The Closet Fan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone’s listening to something in the shower, and someone else ain’t pleased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listened to Ginga Ichi Mibun Chigai na Kataomoi on repeat today in the shower so this story was born.
> 
> Also, sorry I’ve been so mean to the Starlights in these stories, it’s just Haruka hates them and it’s from Haruka and Michiru’s POV. Personally, I love them and I’m planning a Three Lights concert tour with my friend!

A familiar feeling struck Haruka’s stomach. The familiar piercing stabbyness of- period cramps.

”It’s here again.”, she sighed and ran to the nearest bathroom. But as she walked into the bathroom, she heard some noises.

Shower noise.  _Like usual. Michiru loves that- WAIT A SEC!_

The cramps turned into fire. Haruka ran to Michiru’s phone, typed in her passcode and turned the terrible noise off. “Ugh.”

”Hey, who turned off my music?”

”I did.”

”But why?”

”WHY WERE YOU LISTENING TO NAGAREBOSHI HE IN THE SHOWER? WE BANNED THAT SONG!”


	138. May 17: Skipping The Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They skipped the dance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I skipped my school dance today so I made HaruMichi skip as well.

Haruka and Michiru were in their room, dancing to full-blast Queen. Everything was perfect.

But then, their little dance was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Come in!"

It was Hotaru.

"Haruka-papa, Michiru-mama, it's your school dance today! Why are you dancing in your room instead?"

Haruka and Michiru stared at eachother and laughed. Then, they looked back at Hotaru and sighed.

"It's a long story..."

* * *

 

"WHAT?", Hotaru yelled as she ran to the door. "Really?"

They nodded.

"How terrible! I didn't know the saviors of the universe had a criminal record! You could've gotten expelled for that, it's fucking Mugen Academy!"

"Still can't believe they brought wine to a school dance...", Hotaru scoffed as she hustled out of the room.

Once she was out, Michiru got a glass and yelled, "They call it Kurumi Mugen Academy of Torture, Medicine and Being A Crazy Lesbian for a reason!"

They high fived and took a sip of wine.

The music started again.


	139. May 18: Haruka’s Rant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She’s mad.

The most embarrassing name out of everyone.

The one everyone mispronounces, all the goddamn time.

Sure, I’m badass, but I’m unlucky.

Of course, I had to be Sailor... George? At this rate, it should’ve been called George.

UR-UH-NIS.

Not Your Anus. Not Your Eh Nus. And definitely not The Gay One. Because spoiler alert- if you’re straight and a Sailor Senshi, than you’re nonexistent. It’s a queers-only club..

_Haha. Miss Your Anus is so angry about her name. At least I got the good name!_

**SHUT UP NEPTUNE ITS MY DIARY!**

* * *


	140. May 19: Burning Crap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FIRE! FIRE! FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Michiru got out of the water, smiling as she smelt something familiar. Despite it being her polar opposite, the flames felt like a warm ocean breeze, calling out to her. She grabbed a towel and ran to the fire pit, a trail of water coming from behind her hair.

Haruka was standing right by it, holding a lighter up like it was a gun. "I'm burning up some toxic things."

"FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!", shouted Michiru as she ran by it to see what toxic things she was burning. When she saw what it was, she laughed.

It was a Three Lights cassette tape.


	141. May 20: Embarrassment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever get embarrassed when Sailor Moon music comes on on your playlist and you CAN'T HELP BUT YELL THE LYRICS? HaruMichi has had it worse.

The wind blew as fast as it could as Haruka Tenoh and Michiru Kaioh walked towards the new jewelry store. They were having a sale on diamond rings, so they decided to get rings to use to save for The Day. As Michiru tugged on Haruka's sleeve and smiled, Haruka glared at Michiru, who suggested the shopping trip.

"Um, Michiru, do you think this is even rational?"

Michiru nodded. "We promised to get engaged the second gay marriage becomes legal in Japan, and since Taiwan just legalized it, we could be next!"

The happy couple walked into the store, but they gasped the second they heard what was playing. They immediately started blushing, and gave each other glaring looks. 

"Beat, beat, beat! Owari no nai!"

The two ran towards the rings. 

"Beat, beat, beat! Sakai no hate e!"

They high fived and jumped as the beat got back in, yelling the rest of the lyrics to Kodo as the rest of the store attendees watched them dance, giving them dirty looks. "What in the world..."

Like every song, though, it eventually ended. And the next song embarrassed them even more.

"Oh no..."

"Ah shit, here we go again..."

* * *

 

It was Eternal Eternity, and they were blushing red since the entire store was watching them.

"Of course they had to play Kodo right before our stupid song."

"Why couldn't they just played Rebel Flag and then we could've continued our otaku dance party?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE BOPS FEATURED IN THIS CHAPTER:  
> -Kodo by Nonoc (the OP to HaruMichi's favorite anime and my personal favorite of 2019 so far, Magical Girl Spec-Ops Asuka)  
> -Eternal Eternity (by you know who)


	142. May 21: More Mad Libs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had a hard day at work so I’m de stressing with Mad Libs.

Dear Haruka,  
  
It has come to my Door that you are the Luckiest girl in the Bed. My Foot starts Running a Iron every time you speak. I would like to sing if you want to go to the Tanbata Festival with me next Friday. If you Jump please Drive me at the Arena in a year. I play you and everything about you.   
  
Shyly,   
Michiru


	143. May 22: The Periodic Table

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The periodic table is lit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took a science test today and we were handed periodic tables. So this story was born.

There it was. Haruka and Michiru's new poster. An amazing one that would join all their other nerdy posters. At first glance, since it was a science one, it seemed more up Setsuna's alley, but in reality it was a symbol of love- that only people who knew the Senshi's identities would realize.

It was elements number 93 and 94 on the Periodic Table. 

Uranium and Neptunium.

Right next to each other.


	144. May 23: The Last One Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka should've learned not to give warnings a century ago...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was the last one to finish a test for the first time in my life today. I was shook, so I wrote this while we waited for the other classes to finish.

Haruka Tenoh knew that what her girlfriend would subject her to was the textbook definition of "torture". Everyone knew that Michiru Kaioh had some sort of special connection with the water. Some said the teenager was part fish. Because of that, it seemed preposterous that Michiru insisted on entering a swimming contest.

This contest wasn't your standard run-of-the-mill water race. It was an attempt to find the one person in all of Juuban that could swim the longest- and the event would not end until there was not one person left in the water. Haruka knew Michiru could swim for days at a time, and this would be an endangerment to the sanities of her and everybody around her.

Smartly, Haruka decided to stay back home and not go to the contest that Michiru was so excited about attending. But before she left, Haruka gave her one little note written on a yellow Post-It note:

"DON'T OVERSTAY YOUR WELCOME."

Michiru ended up swimming for nineteen hours and thirty-two minutes.


	145. May 24: Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I probably named a chapter this already, but you’re getting another one because it’s all I’m feeling.

(From Haruka’s POV)

I don’t know what to do, diary.

The anime convention’s tomorrow, and me and Michiru were gonna meet Aya Suzaki and Akira Sekrine- EEK! OTP!

But anyways, it’s gonna be a long eight hour day at the convention, plus six hours to drive from Tokyo to Osaka and back. It seems like an OK thing, but there’s one problem: my back and legs are HURTING.

Hurting badly. So much pain, I want to die. Like, if I don’t get a second of sleep now than I’ll faint.

Wait a sec. Fainting...

I think I found the solution to my problems.

I need to turn on some anime and bang Michiru.


	146. May 25: What Happens When HaruMichi Isn't Banned From The Dance Floor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They've been banned before. Now, at this convention, they ain't, so they'll dance forever.

If there was one City Pop lyric to describe Haruka and Michiru at this moment, it would be 'keep on dancing'. They wouldn't stop dancing. 

Even when they were told no, they still clashed their beer and weirdly danced.

Even when they were almost kicked out, Michiru threatened to torture the con staff person so they could still dance.

And it seemed like forever.

Almost an eternity.

If you weren't Haruka and Michiru,

* * *

 

They danced so long, they ended up missing meeting Aya Suzaki and Akira Sekine.

And boy, were they angry at themselves.


	147. May 26: Pluto's A Planet!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka and Michiru roast Setsuna.

"What do you mean Pluto isn't a planet anymore?"

That was Setsuna Meioh's reaction to Pluto, her guardian planet, getting reclassified as a 'dwarf' planet, thirteen years ago. Thirteen years had passed, and yet she still felt as if Pluto was ditched- instead of just giving Eris planetary status, it dropped Pluto. This always had Setsuna shaking her head, but her housemates and co-parents, Haruka and Michiru, felt like it was a chore to remind Setsuna that Pluto wasn't a parent. But they still felt it was necessary. So they were always prepared.

* * *

 

It was nighttime, and Setsuna was on one of her drunken rants about PlUtO iS StIlL a PlAnEt.

So Haruka and Michiru walked straight into Hotaru's room, even though the poor tween was sleeping. They woke her up with tickles and dressed her.

"Is this necessary, Michiru-mama?", the tired Hotaru asked her mom as she held her hand, walking towards Setsuna. Haruka nodded. "Setsuna's a scientist, but you're smarter than her on this subject."

"So in conclusion FUCK NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON-"

As if on cue, Haruka, Michiru and Hotaru took off their jackets, revealing 'Pluto Is NOT A PLANET' shirts.

Setsuna cried for the rest of the night.


	148. May 27: Haruka Snaps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not really.

Haruka was tired. Sick of everyone and everything, except for Michiru, the only one on Earth who understood her.

When she tried to drive, she ended up passing the speed limit by triple digits.

When she tried to write, all she wrote was “uwu sisosowowowo”.

When she tried to literally do anything, it went wrong.

Or felt wrong.

* * *

 

Michiru wasn’t there, so Haruka was very close to snapping.

And in all her activities, it seemed like she already snapped.


	149. May 28: Parallel Universe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They wake up in another dimension...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks TiredAsHaruMichi for the idea!

Haruka and Michiru both woke up, but they noticed everything seemed different.

Haruka's hair was black, and she was in a frilly suit.

Michiru felt her nails were too short, and her hair was too short, too.

Her boobs were gone, her cramps were gone, and she was in pants.

The pair looked at each other, and screamed.

They went to the bathroom just to make sure what they thought was real happened, and they screamed again.

* * *

 

Mamoru woke up, but his hair was too long and he felt something weird on his chest. No, his hair was- blond? And blue?

He screamed.

* * *

Mamoru, Haruka and Michiru gender swapped due to Hotaru and Chibiusa playing with Setsuna's science equipment.

And it took hours to get them back to normal.


	150. May 29: Just Kiss Already!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka and Michiru scream at Captain Marvel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I watched this epic movie for the fourth time today oops... anyways, CAROL X MARIA FOR LAIFUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Haruka and Michiru were sitting on the couch with their empty popcorn bags and half-drunk water bottles. Captain Marvel was finally out on Apple TV, and they got to watch it again- for the fourth time- but still weren't satisfied.

"Really, Marvel? Really?", shouted Haruka.

"The male heroes usually get 20 second long makeout scenes with a random ass girl, but Carol didn't even get to KISS Maria?"

Hotaru walked in in that moment. "Haruka-papa, Michiru-mama, not everyone's gay, 'ya know? I mean, there's Monica, so Maria was probably married at one point..."

Hotaru was slapped by her parents.

"SHUT UP!"

"Marvel..."

"MAKE IT CANON!"


	151. May 30: Taiki Jokes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On Taiki's birthday, Michiru found Haruka's journal full of Taiki jokes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a big Starlights fan so I decided to take advantage of the date and make Starlights jokes.

Haruka's Taiki Jokes 

by Haruka Tenoh

"Roses are red

I'm Sailor Uranus 

You could've found an attack

That wasn't called Star Gentle Uterus"

"What do you call a person with five heads? A Taiki!"

"The only thing Sailor Star Maker makes is bad blood."

"Taiki is what would happen if someone tried to make a Smart Doll out of a calculator and a book on periods."


	152. May 31: Hotaru Psycho 100

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU where Hotaru is a freelancer getting rid of evil spirits, kinda like in Mob Psycho 100, and HaruMichi has no clue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Started MP100 today after a friend told me to. It's pretty good so far, but Mob kinda reminded me of Hotaru- so an AU was born!

Hotaru walked in to the door as the sun set. Haruka got it in a hurry, and she only had one question for her 'daughter'.

"Where were you?"

Michiru came to see her daughter, too. "Yeah, why were you out so late, it's 9 pm!"

300 yen fell out of Hotaru's bag, and she sighed.

"I think it's time I told you guys the truth."

* * *

 

"Fighting and killing spirits using ESP?"

"I was in a telepathy club back in the day, but it was as a joke- I didn't believe in it. Now, my daughter's doing it for 300 yen a hour?"

Hotaru nodded. "I work for some dude called Reigen. He gives me money, I beat the crap out of the spirits using my mind and guardian powers."

She shrugged and walked out, but Haruka and Michiru looked at eachother and gasped.

"MY GRANDMA SENT ME THERE ONCE SHE FOUND OUT I WAS GAY!"

They laughed.

"Thank god our love was real and not an evil aura.", said Michiru.

The two kissed.


	153. June 1: IT'S OUR MONTH!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's The Month of HaruMichi.

Haruka and Michiru walked outside, wearing all rainbow clothes, rainbow face paint, rainbow hats and waving the LGBTQ+ flag, squealing and throwing rainbow confetti.

"HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!", they shouted using 2 big megaphones.

They cheered again, high fived, got in the car, and drove all around the neighborhood, throwing rainbow confetti.

Everywhere.

Especially at the Chick-Fil-A.

When they passed there, they threw the rest of their confetti, shook their flags and yelled very loudly.

"PRIDE MONTH! PRIDE MONTH!"


	154. June 2: How To Lure Haruka To A Chick-Fil-A

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is how you lure Haruka to a homophobic place.

Michiru's Journal, June 2 2019

HOW TO LURE HARUKA TO A CHICK-FIL-A

Step 1: Call the local Chick-Fil-A 

(Did so)

Step 2: Ask for the person who chooses their music

(It happened to be the person I was speaking to)

Step 3: Ask them to play "Africa" for 2 hours straight

(Turns out that the person was a Toto fan too :)

Step 4: Yell at Haruka, "THEY'RE PLAYING AFRICA AT CHICK-FIL-A LET'S GO"

(She screamed and got the helicopter.)

Step 5: Go to Chick-Fil-A 

(Haruka did so in a hurry, forgetting their homophobia.)

Step 6: Enter premises

FAIL!

Why this failed: it's Sunday and turns out this person was just forced to work today as punishment so we couldn't go in and listen to Africa.

Haruka is relieved, though.

**THANK GOD I DIDN'T STEP FOOT INTO THAT SHITTY ESTABLISHMENT JUST TO LISTEN TO A SONG I CAN LISTEN TO AT HOME!**

(She's currently listening to it.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Africa memes will never stop.


	155. June 3: The Michiru Cult

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if there were 100 Michirus?

Haruka was sleeping, in a little delicate trance. But it was about to be broken.

”Haruka?”

She woke up. It was Michiru.

”Go back to bed, it’s 3 am!”

”But I don’t have room!”

”Huh?”

Haruka looked around and gasped.

Turns out, there were like 99 other Michirus.

”HARUKA!”

And only one Haruka.

(This was yet again because of a failed science experiment, and they’re safe now.


	156. June 4: Attack On Straight Pride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Straight pride? Who are you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got mad about the stupid Straight Pride homophobes event so I wrote HaruMichi beating it up in parody of Another One Bites The Dust-form.  
> If anyone wants to sing along here's the instrumental: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0x5tvA8-msQ

15 homophobes walk warily down the street

With their 'Straight Pride' flag held up high 

Ain't no sound but the sound of the helicopter,  
Where Haruka and Michiru fly

Are you ready, hey, are you ready for this?   
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?   
Out of the doorway World Shaking rips  
To the sound of _Choubi!_ _Uranus To Neptune_

Another one bites the dust  
Another one bites the dust  
And another one gone, and another one gone  
Another one bites the dust  
Hey, Michiru destroyed the sign  
Another one bites the dust

How do the homophobes think they're going to get along  
With nobody to hate  
Well, Uranep proved that their strength  
Truly moves love and justice

"Are they happy? Are they satisfied?  
Just from making injustice?"  
Out of the doorway Deep Submerge rips  
To the sound of  _Eternal Eternity_

Another one bites the dust  
Another one bites the dust  
And another one gone, and another one gone  
Another one bites the dust  
Hey, people are leaving too, too  
Another one bites the dust

Hey  
Oh take it  
Bite the dust  
Hate can bite it!  
Hey  
Another one bites the dust  
Another one bites the dust oww  
Another one bites the dust hey hey  
Another one bites the dust eh eh

Oh, haters  
There are plenty of ways that you can hurt people  
And bring them to the ground  
You can beat them, you can cheat them  
You can say their life choices are sins

But they're ready, yes, they're ready for you  
Standing on their own two feet  
Out of the doorway their strength rips  
Repeating to the sound of  _Eternal Eternity_ oh yeah

Another one bites the dust  
Another one bites the dust  
And another one gone, and another one gone  
Another one bites the dust  
Hey, nobody's there anymore, too  
Another one bites the dust

 


	157. June 5: Lambo Speeding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka's caught letting loose...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dad told me today that a Lamborghini can go 300 miles an hour. Idk if that's true, but it's now true in this world!  
> P.S: I'M NOW ON SUMMER VACATION! YAY! BYE BYE MIDDLE SCHOOL

She didn't expect to get a ticket for speeding.

Ok, maybe Haruka Tenoh did. It was the afternoon and she was in her Lamborghini, about to pick up Hotaru from her last day of school before summer break. 

Haruka knew too well that last days were pure and utter B.S, where they just got yearbooks and watched movies all day. Of course, one of them was 100% gonna be Despicable Me, the movie that literally EVERY TEACHER showed on the last day and every public school student had practically memorized. So she let Hotaru hang out for a few hours signing yearbooks, and then RUSHED to the school as quick as she could with Michiru by her side.

But the summer feeling that she had translated itself into a speeding car.

And now Haruka was driving into the parking lot, with a bigass parking ticket.

* * *

As Haruka walked in to the classroom where everyone was, Hotaru gasped.

"Haruka-papa, what are you doing here?"

"Michiru's in the car. Come on, let's go. Say bye to your friends."

"No!"

"Yes! You'll get to see them in the fall. And at the Tanabata festival. And besides, do you really want to watch Despicable Me for the hundredth tim-"

Hotaru playfully slapped Haruka.

"NOT NOW! We're watching the Sailor Moon anime and IT'S CHIBIUSA'S TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE!"

Haruka then sighed as she sat down to watch with Hotaru and her friends.

_I got a ticket for nothing..._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.P.S: We watched Despicable Me for like the 5th year in a row... but at least I begged the teacher into showing Sailor Moon R: Promise of the Rose after ;)


	158. June 6: Hiding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A flashback to the first time Haruka and Michiru attempted to have a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote this because my crush is ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN ME IM SHOOK! I'm satisfied... but I'm a girl, she's a girl, I'm pansexual and haven't came out to my dad yet cause he's a homophobe. So I decided to imagine my situation with Haruka and Michiru...

"Who is this?", asked Michiru's mom.

"This is Haruka, my, um... friend. Yeah, my friend."

The girls then ran as fast as they could to Michiru's room.

Right then and there, Michiru's dad walked right by her mom.

"Does Michiru have a boy over?"

Mrs. Kaioh shrugged. "I wasn't able to tell if it was a boy or a girl. Some kid named Haruka that I've never met before. She's never mentioned this Haruka before..."

Kissing noises then came through the doors of Michiru's room.

"Yep. We've lost our daughter to the world of boys."

* * *

 

About 5 hours later, Haruka left the house, and the two hugged before she left.

But Michiru's parents laughed as she closed the door.

"Hey Michiru! Your boyfriend's wearing a skirt! That's some humor there. Must be a really funny guy-"

"HARUKA'S A GIRL! WE'RE JUST FRIENDS!"

Michiru was kicked out of the house that night.


	159. June 7: Throwing Darts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is what Haruka and Michiru do to avoid social interaction.

_BANG! BANG!_

The rest of the partygoers at the random graduation party that Haruka and Michiru were going to were just staring at them.

No, not because their outfits were cute or they were crushing.

Because they were making a hell lot of noise.

You see, the party was at Rei's shrine, and she invited them and all the Senshi so she wouldn't be alone- but not before making sure the two had NO ALCOHOL. 

To distract the couple from the wine the adults at the party were consuming, Rei bought 4 foam suction-cup darts for Haruka and Michiru to throw at the windows.

And these two were throwing them nonstop, making all the noise they could and screaming like kids.

"WOOHOO!"

"BAM!"

"I got another one!"

As the girls laughed and laughed, Rei rolled her eyes.

"Inviting them was a mistake."

But Makoto, who was there, slapped her.

"At least they're not getting drunk."


	160. June 8: Raining Tacos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From out of the sky! TACOS.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No need to ask why I wrote this chapter. Just open your mouth and close your eyes.

Haruka was driving the helicopter, and Michiru was sitting right by the door, throwing things.

_Shell._

_Meat._

_Lettuce._

_Cheese._

_Shell._

_Meat._

_Lettuce._

_Cheese._

_Shell._

_Meat._

_Cheese._

_Cheese._

_Cheese._

_Cheese._

_Cheese._

"Haruka, I think I threw too much cheese."

"Then throw some more shells!"

She did so.

* * *

 

In Juuban, though, a crowd was gathering, staring at the random things coming from the sky and the helicopter that was flying.

"A helicopter and raining tacos in one day? This is strange."

Hotaru and Chibiusa, on the other hand, were walking home from seeing Endgame for the sixth time- their contribution to 'Codename Help Endgame Beat Avatar At The Box Office'. When they walked out of the theater, though, they laughed once they saw the tacos flying AND the familiar helicopter.

"HARUKA-PAPA!"

"Your moms are crazy..."


	161. June 9: Let's Go Lesbians

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka and Michiru were chosen to run around Tokyo with a bunch of other lesbians and a random straight guy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR FORGETTING YESTERDAY I HAD REALLY BAD ANXIETY ISSUES BUT HEY AT LEAST WE HAVE 2 CHAPTERS TODAY TO MAKE UP FOR IT! Anyways, this is inspired by a YouTube video called 'Billy On The Street: Lesbian Lightning Round' which is a meme so yay more HaruMichi memes

Haruka and Michiru were at a table at the park, sipping coffee. It was summer, and everything seemed peaceful.

Until a straight guy with a microphone and another couple of girls walked in.

"Hey, are you two lesbians?"

"Duh.", Michiru said.

"Do you want to run around Tokyo with us? It's for YouTube."

"How much are we getting paid?", asked Haruka.

"1 million yen!"

The cups broke as Haruka and Michiru sprang from the table and started running.

* * *

 

"Ok, it's time for a special Lightning Round! Today I'm running around Tokyo with a pack of wild lesbians! They're going to chase after people with me and help them answer questions! Let's go! Let's go lesbians, let's go!"

Haruka and Michiru rolled their eyes as they ran.

"This dude is obnoxious.", muttered Haruka.

They ran towards a dude. "For ten yen, who's sexier? Sailor Uranus or Sailor Neptune?"

Haruka and Michiru stopped for a second and stared at eachother.

"I have to go with Sailor Neptune."

The mic was then pointed to Haruka.

"Who do you think, lesbian?"

"Sailor Neptune, duh!"

The two laughed as the ten yen piece was handed. "Here you go, correct! Let's go, lesbians, let's go!"

* * *

 

More ten yen pieces were handed, more questions were answered, and Haruka and Michiru regretted everything. But it went too overboard when Haruka was allowed to ask a guy a question.

"For ten yen, who's sexier? Um, Asuka or Kurumi?"

"Is there a third option? I have to go with Francine."

Haruka then punched the dude.

"DON'T YOU KNOW THAT FRANCINE IS THE QUEEN OF THE BABEL BRIGADE YOU IDIOT YOU SUCK YOU SUCK..."

The host then came to them. "Welp, that's all the time we have today! Thanks for playing, lesbians, here's ten yen!"

Twenty yen was handed to Michiru, ten for her and ten for Haruka.

She stared at the coins as Haruka yelled at the dude.

"You said a million... DAMN YOU AND YOUR YOUTUBE SERIES!"

* * *

 

They regretted everything once the top headline was 'Haruka Tenoh Goes Crazy Over Anime'.


	162. June 10: Basketball Rickroll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drunken French fries, beer and basketball lead to a crazy misunderstanding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has happened to me all NBA season long- probably because of the beer-battered French fries that they serve at the restaurant showing all the sports. So I felt like it would finally happen to HaruMichi.  
> Also, I wrote this chapter while I was drunk.  
> Also, I added a reference to one of my fanfics from earlier this year. If you can spot it, kudos to you!

Haruka and Michiru were smiling, nibbling on their beer-battered French fries and sipping their beer. It was a Monday night date night, and they suspected it would be nice and quiet at the local sports bar. But it was anything but.

"AHHH!", screamed a bunch of basketball fans as the big TV started playing a basketball game.

Haruka rolled her eyes. "Sports?"

"This is the Tokyo Ale House, what did you expect, anime?"

"WE CAME HERE FOR THE BEER, MICHI!"

As the announcers kept on talking and talking, a little sidebar came up. 

"NEXT: WARRIORS VS RAPTORS"

Michiru, who was sipping on her third bottle that night, screamed.

"What? Is sports interesting all of a sudden?"

"IT SAYS WAR NURSE VS RAPTURE!"

Haruka looked at the TV in disbelief. Then, she looked at Michiru.

The two drunken lesbians ran to the front of the pit of basketball fans and started screaming.

* * *

 

"YES! THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT!"

"WAHOO!" 

"THIS IS SUCH A SURPRISE!"

"MAYBE THIS IS WHY LIDEN HASN'T DONE SEASON 2 YET, THEY WERE TOO BUSY ANIMATING THIS FIGHT!"

As the girls went crazy, the basketball fans stared at the couple.

"So, who are you rooting for?", asked one fan in a Warriors shirt.

The couple stared at eachother.

"Um... we don't know who's going to win.", said Michiru with a shrug.

One guy laughed. "It's obvious it's going to be the Raptors."

Haruka and Michiru screamed. "YES! RAPTURE! RAPTURE!"

"Will she rip War Nurse apart, though?", asked Michiru. Haruka was too busy whipping her beer glass around. "RIP THEM TO SHREDS, RAPTURE TALON!"

Michiru took another sip of wine and sighed. "But what about War Nurse? She can Magical Truth Serum, Magical Spank, Magical Torture-"

The basketball fans stared at Michiru like she was crazy.

"The Magic didn't make it to the finals this season, noob."

"Huh? What finals? And aren't Rapture and War Nurse part of the Magical Five-"

"Raptors? Warriors? Magic? You're seriously drunk, you keep on messing up team names!"

Haruka and Michiru broke their alcoholic drinks. "TEAM NAMES?"

"Yeah! BASKETBALL!" The jocks went insane as the game started.

"NOW: WARRIORS VS. RAPTORS"

* * *

 

Dejected, Haruka and Michiru went back to their seats.

"It was just similarly named basketball teams.", they both sighed.

They left the sports bar and went to an empty one where they had 20 bottles for the rest of the night, sighing in their misfortune.


	163. June 11: A Sea Of Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote 2 long chapters in 2 days I deserve a short chapter especially since the red devil came

Haruka and Michiru looked at eachother. 

They felt the red tide of annoyance.

The rolling waves of pain.

The wind of cramps.

Every little feeling that came once every month. 

They screamed.

”NOOOOO!”


	164. June 12: The Whoopie Pie Bandits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They stole the whoopie pies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A headline about a whoopie pie thief came on my family's Alexa as I tried to come up with an idea for today. Thanks, Alexa. Now play Despacito.

'Come and Get Your Love' played overhead on the grocery store speakers. Everything seemed calm, since there was nobody there. Well, nobody but Haruka and Michiru.

Michiru was holding a basket, and Haruka ran through the aisles. Looking for only one kind of food.

Once she saw them, she jumped and grabbed every last one of them with one scoop.

"We've got the whoopie pies!"

Michiru winked at her lover. "Thank you for that. Now, let's run!"

They ran out of the store in a hurry.

* * *

 

The next morning, a grocery store worker was walking and gasped when he walked by the whoopie pie section.

"Why are there no more whoopie pies?"

* * *

 

Meanwhile, Haruka and Michiru were savoring their bites of the fluffy goodness.

"Thank god we stole the whoopie pies from that store.", said Michiru.

Haruka nodded. "We don't usually steal, but we were cramping and there was no more chocolate and all the stores were closed and it was 2 am-"

 


	165. June 13: I'll Miss This Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Michiru is about to embark on her tour, she admires her city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more week and then I'M HAVING 2 BACK-TO-BACK VACATIONS! I'll be in New York on the 21st to the 28th and Disney World from the 30th to the 6th (one's with my mom and sister and the other's with my dad so don't assume I'm a gold digger). Michiru's tour will be pre-written and published during the vacations!

The glow of the city. The familiar sea breeze that the sports car brought to her hair. The full-blast GARNiDELiA on the speakers. The peaceful drizzle of humidity. 

It was a perfect Japanese night, and Michiru usually took these nights for granted, but she smiled. In just one week, she'd be off to Okinawa to start her two-week sold out violin tour. 

Sure, she loved playing her violin. But Tokyo was her city- the one she loved the most.

"I'll miss this place.", Michiru said, turning down  _Hysteric Bullet._

As Haruka stopped jamming out, she looked at Michiru and smiled. 

"But this is going to be the best tour ever. And we'll make a lot of new memories."

"True."

"But still, there's no city like Tokyo."

"Ditto."

As the light turned red, the couple kissed, rain pouring down on them.


	166. June 14: I Hear The Drums Echoing Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go insane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Africa came on at a restaurant I was at. I put down my fries and went on my notes app and wrote a fanfic.

They were calmly eating their French fries appetizer. Nothing seemed like it was crazy. But a familiar beat filled the speakers.

 

Michiru put down her fry. “What?”

 

Haruka turned. “What’s the matter, Michiru?” She shoved a bunch of fries in her mouth.

 

She shrugged. “You’ll realize it in a little bit.”

 

_I hear the drums echoing tonight..._   


 

Haruka winked at Michiru.

 

In sync, both of them screamed “BUT SHE ONLY HEARS WHISPERS OF QUIET CONVERSATION!”

 

The fries were ignored for 4 minutes as they danced near the table.

 


	167. June 15: Isekaied Into A Dystopia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka and Michiru have been yeeted.

Haruka and Michiru were just waking up, like normal. But something felt wrong.

They looked out the window. This wasn’t normal Tokyo.

People were getting robbed and yeeted off cliffs, and fires were burning everywhere.

”ALL HAIL QUEEN GALAXIA!”, was all they could hear, besides faint shouts of “revolution?”

Confused, Haruka and Michiru glanced at each other and shrugged.

”Hotaru was playing with the science equipment again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My goal was to make the cheesiest dystopia. And I won.


	168. June 16: BEAT AVATAR!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our waifus buy a billboard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saw Endgame again today (this was round 4!) to help #BeatAvatar. I decided to let Haruka and Michiru help too.

"Do you think this is good?", asked Michiru. 

Most people would be confused at the sheer sight of her right now. She was standing on top of a billboard, holding on by a bungee cord that Haruka was holding from her helicopter. She was holding a paintbrush, despite her being scared at the thought of dropping it, but she knew what her lover let her do was going to be worth it.

They were at the billboard right by Starlight Cinemas 24. Haruka was renting it for 50,000 yen a day until Michiru was done with her tour, and Michiru was painting an important message on it.

"WATCH ENDGAME! #BeatAvatar"

"Perfect!", cheered Haruka as she pulled her girlfriend up.

Once she was back on the helicopter, with paint all over, Michiru gave Haruka a messy smile.

"This will help. Hopefully by the time tour's over, Endgame's number one!"


	169. June 17: How To Make A Movie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Look out, Hollywood.

Haruka looked at her bank account. _4,590,232,294,393 yen._

_Thirteen digits of cash._

She then turned to Michiru.

"What should I do with all this? I'm set for life!"

Michiru shrugged. "How about you make a movie?"

"A movie?"

"Yeah! A movie! If there's money already, you can make anything!"

"Well, don't you need a good idea already?"

Shaking her head, Michiru giggled and looked at her phone.

"Hey, did you forget about  _Hot Tub Time Machine_?"

"WHAT? I thought that was just a movie they made up for Endgame!"

"How about  _Red Scorpion_?"

"I thought that was just a movie they came up with for Magical Girl Spec-Ops!"

" _Snakes On A Plane_?"

Haruka gasped. 

"They really made a movie about motherfucking snakes on a motherfucking plane? Come on Michiru, we can do better."

They both put their fists in the air.

"WE'RE MAKING A MOVIE!"


	170. June 18: Getting Roasted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michiru's script gets roasted yet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This happened to me yet again today so I decided to make it happen to Michiru as well. (By the way, the comments and ratings she got are real feedback I got, so if you're reading this dude that reviewed my script on ScriptMother today, hi and thanks for roasting my script!)

"WHAT?", screamed Michiru.

She just joined a script peer reviewing site, and her script was finally reviewed by a user. But there was a slight problem: it was a negative review.

30 PERCENT. 

SCRIPT: PASS.

WRITER: PASS.

"This concept is unoriginal and has been done to death."

"The story was very hard to follow along, and I lost track of what was going on."

"The dialogue is all over the place."

"Add more character development!"

Michiru grumbled as she closed her computer.

"GODDAMN IT! IT WAS BASED ON A FANFICTION WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?"


	171. June 19: Cruel Angel's Thesis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HaruMichi only know the Evangelion parody version.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blame MARiA from GARNiDELiA and the creator of the 4Kids Evangelion parody for this chapter.

Haruka and Michiru were screaming at the top of their lungs. They just were having the time of their lives- they were at a GARNiDELiA concert, living it up. But little did they know that they'd about to be embarrassed as hell.

It was nearing the end of the concert- and there was only one song that Haruka and Michiru knew that MARiA, the lead singer, hadn't sung yet. 

The one song that made them GARNiDELiA fans. The one song that they would scream and know all the words to. The one they'd get lit to.

"Ok, we have two more songs! This next one, everyone here knows."

Haruka and Michiru squealed. It was the one they were all waiting for.

"REBEL FLAG!"

"WHOO!"

The song began. But it wasn't that.

" _Aoi..._ "

The entire crowd screamed and joined in. Everyone but Haruka and Michiru.

"KAZE GA IMA..."

They both looked at each other.

"They're getting the lyrics wrong..."

"LIVIN IN THE FLOODED STREETS OF NEW ORLEANS

GENDO, SHINJI'S FATHER, IS A SCIENTIST, OKAY

SO HE BUILT A GIANT ROBOT FOR SHINJI'S BIRTHDAY

SHINJI'S FRIEND REI KNOWS HOW TO BUST A CAP 

WHEN SHE'S NOT FIGHTING ALIENS SHE'S TAKIN' A NAP

WITHOUT ASUKA FROM GERMANY EVERYBODY WOULD BE LOST

HER COUNTRY IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE HO! 

LO!

GRAPHIC MAP!"

Everyone else looked at Michiru and Haruka like they were crazy and continued singing the real lyrics.

 

 


	172. June 20: Like A Plastic Bag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> credit to Cristina Vee (Viz voice of Sailor Mars) for the amazing song

Haruka was bored AF on the helicopter. Despite the wind blowing and Michiru's smile, she didn't feel energized as she flew it to Okinawa, the first stop on Michiru's tour. 

But her boredom ended when she saw a plastic bag flying in the wind.

She started singing a song she made up on the spot:

"Do you ever feel like a plastic bag

Like a plastic bag

Like a plastic bag"

Michiru giggled, and continued.

"CAUSE BABY YOU'RE A PLASTIC BAG! 

COME ON SHOW THEM PLASTIC BAG

MAKE 'EM GO PLASTIC BAG

YOU'RE GONNA LEAVE 'EM IN A PLASTIC BAG!"

The two giggled as they flew in the helicopter.


	173. June 21: Okinawa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Note for Day 172: I wrote these on the plane to my vacation! I hope you enjoy all these stories 🌺

It was a warm, sunny day in Okinawa. People were playing in the waves, tanning in the sun, and whatnot. But two girls were just being crazy in the beach: Haruka Tenoh and Michiru Kaioh.

You wouldn’t guess it from her face unless you were either a Sailor Moon otaku or big on violins, but Michiru was a world famous violinist embarking on her world tour. But before her concert that night, she and her lover Haruka decided to have some fun. 

It wasn’t an easy decision, though. Michiru just wanted to show up at the beachfront hotel they picked out for their one night stay and practice playing her violin. But Haruka had, well, more nerdy things on her mind.

“Come on, Michiru! We HAVE to go to the beach! If we don’t, than what was the point of coming here?”

“Well, we booked a tour of Naha for later, and the tour guide would probably be pissed off if I played while we were walking around the shops, so I have to go practice now! If I don’t, well, my first show of my tour will end up being a flop!”

“Well, can’t you just practice on the beach?”

“That would be fun!”

So there the couple was. Michiru was just playing Désir on the violin, dressed more for a swim in the pool than a practice session. Haruka, though, found a way to have a lot more fun than Michiru.

First, she opened the big bag she brought to the beach. Most people would just bring shovels, pails, shades and other beach items, but not her. If people thought bringing a violin to the beach was weird, they didn’t see what Haruka brought.

“KAORI-SAN!”

It was a CPR mannequin.

As Haruka started pumping, Michiru immediately stopped the song she was playing and started “Staying Alive”. 

The other beach goers just stared at the couple and laughed.

“CPR and violin at the beach? Go back to high school.”

The girls gave the man a heavy look.

“DON’T INSULT OUR LIFE CHOICES!”

Sand was then thrown. 


	174. June 22: Sydney

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In unrelated news, today’s my Moonaversary! I watched the first episode of Sailor Moon for the first time one year ago today, which kickstarted my love for the show and all things anime! This show made me who I am and I’m forever grateful for this year. Here’s to another 95 years of being an otaku!

“It’s SYDNEY!”, screamed Michiru. With her violin, she posed in front of the opera house she was going to perform at later. Her lover Haruka took a picture of the joyful moment. Click!

After the picture was taken, Michiru ran to Haruka, hugging her. “I’m so glad we get to be together like this every day.”

Haruka nodded. “Ditto.”

Arm in arm, they walked together near the opera house.

“It’s so beautiful!”, exclaimed Michiru, strolling through the sidewalk. “But I wonder what it’s made of. Is it glass or marble or wood...”

“I read online that it’s tile.”

“WHAT?”


	175. June 23: Auckland

It was the middle of Michiru’s show in Auckland, and everything was fine. She was changing into a different outfit for her next song, and Haruka was helping her dress.  
As Haruka took off the outfit Michiru was wearing, Michiru sighed.  
“I want to do something awesome soon. Something, memetic. The people who came to Auckland to witness me playing the violin deserve the world!  
Carrying a blue dress, Haruka ran over to Michiru.  
As she helped her in the dress, Michiru shrugged. “Well, there’s nothing really cool here. It’s not like you can play Feels Like Carolina or Sweet Home Alabama here. But they did film Whale Rider in New Zealand-“  
Getting the rest of the dress on herself, Michiru screamed.   
“I know what to do now.”  
Running onstage, she yelled, “PAKA! I’M BEK!”


	176. June 24: Las Vegas

Sledgehammer? Check.

Violin? Check.

Another violin? Check.

A killer solo? Check.

As she walked in the venue and confetti fired, Michiru smiled. 

This was Las Vegas, the city where you went big or went home.

She knew that she wanted to go as big as possible, so she and Haruka came up with a very important plan.

Michiru winked at Haruka.

She winked back.

Michiru then started playing a sad arrangement of Passion. The melancholy sound of the slow violin could make anyone fall asleep. Heck, if they weren’t violin otaku, they’d probably be asleep as well.

But once she made it through the sad part, she grabbed the sledgehammer and banged down the old violin, to gasps.

She then grabbed the new one and stared playing the actual arrangement.

“YES, BITCH!”, yelled Haruka


	177. June 25: Toronto

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for no chapter yesterday but I’m having an anxiety attack lol

They were freezing.

It was summer in Toronto, but it was still a bone-chilling thirty eight degrees Fahrenheit. 

Even as Michiru Kaioh and Haruka Tenoh tried to get as close as they could to any type of heat source, it was impossible to stay warm.

The summer winds brought a chill in the air that neither Haruka nor Michiru could ignore. 

Usually, everywhere they went wasn’t like this- those places were blazing hot. But at that moment, the couple looked at each other, and could only yell one thing.

“HOLY SHIT IT’S COLD!”


	178. June 26: Chicago

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still in anxiety mode

Wind. 

That’s all Haruka could think of.

Sure, it was Chicago, the Windy City, but the wind there was more that Haruka expected. Usually, this wind was a sign of trouble to come. Being the Sailor Senshi of the sky and wind came with its perks, but among them, in some cases, it was a bad thing. One stroke of wind was a sign of the world going awry, and it was scary to Haruka.

Michiru, on the other hand, knew this. But she didn’t really care- she was just happily skipping along, yelling random song lyrics. “Chicago! Chicago!”

The pair laughed as Michiru knelt down into a show pose.


	179. June 27: New York City

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No hate to any New Yorkers, i was born there and lived there for 5 years and am in New York right now😂

“So, this is New York.”, said Haruka. Michiru nodded.

“How underwhelming and trashy is this. Come on, let’s fly to our hotel. We don’t have to sightsee.”

“True that.”, Michiru said with a sigh. 


	180. June 28: Santiago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chile puns.

The pair screamed with delight once they got seated at the restaurant.

“This. Is. The BEST DAY EVER!”, said Haruka as she shoved a burger in her mouth.

With her hands full of French fries, Michiru nodded. “I mean, since we were going to Chile, there was no way in hell we could skip coming to Chili’s.”

They spent the rest of the time before the concert that night chilling, yelling over and over again, “CHILLING IN CHILE!”


	181. June 29: Meanwhile in Japan...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What’s a party without Haruka and Michiru?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late; I was kinda sick yesterday and had daddy issues. But let’s take a break from the tour arc to see what the Moons are doing for their birthday!

“IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!”, yelled Usagi.

“IT’S MINE, TOO!”, screamed Chibiusa. Hotaru cheered. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHIBIUSA!”

Everyone else cheered too.

Ami smiled. “It was smart to have the party on a Saturday instead of a regular day so we could have more energy to sleep on Sunday. And besides, this is going to be one of the most kid-friendly shrine parties in the history of shrine parties.”

“Why?”, asked Hotaru.

Chibiusa and Rei stared her down.

“Because your mommies aren’t getting DRUNK!”


	182. June 30: London

Michiru smiled as the crowd cheered for her, but none of that mattered to her. She just turned to Haruka, who was sitting in the front row proudly, and winked.

She straightened her back and got ready to play the next song, but something seemed off right when she was about to start.

A bell rang. 

Michiru turned to the back, and it seemed like nothing. 

But then the bell struck again.

And again.

And again.

Every time Michiru tried to start her damn song, the same bell RUNG. And RUNG. And RUNG.

“Why does Big Ben hate me?”, sighed Michiru.

But Haruka gave her an encouraging smile. 

“WHO CARES ABOUT A BELL? A BELL HAS NO FEELINGS, AND WE WANT TO LISTEN TO YOU! YOUR MUSIC IS BEAUTIFUL, JUST LIKE YOUR PAINTINGS, SWIMMING AND OF COURSE, YOU!”

Everyone cheered, and Michiru smiled.

She then started playing ‘Eternal Eternity’, to everyone’s delight.


	183. July 1: Paris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something big happens...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ll just put this up and then go to Magic Kingdom... and probs go home to a screaming crowd of HaruMichi readers... I decided to give y’all a wham episode for today’s HALFWAY MARK... thanks to everyone who’s been reading every day for six months!

In the night sky, the bright lights of Paris shone bright, like jewels. Padlocks of love were everywhere, couples were kissing, holding hands and getting engaged. 

It was surely the City of Love. But not for Michiru Kaioh and Haruka Tenoh.

Sure, these 2 were lovers through and through, having been dating for longer than most of the couples in the street. But seeing all the love both heartwarmed and hurt them.

Sure, it was cute seeing all the other couples doing coupley things. But one thing jumped out at them in particular.

Holding hands, the two were strolling through the Seine, happy as could be. Then, a man stopped in front of them.

“My love.”

“WHAT?”, yelled both at them.

“We’re as lesbian as lesbian can get.”, scoffed Haruka.

“Yeah!”, added Michiru.

The man turned to someone else, a beautiful woman with curly pink hair.

“For six months now, you’ve been my oxygen, my water, my everything. Now, I can’t imagine life without you. I love everything we do together, and I feel ready to take the next step.”

“Mai, will you marry me?”

As the rest of the crowd that gathered cheered and the woman cried, hugging the man, Haruka and Michiru started sobbing.

“Only six months?”

“If we could, we’d be married forever and ever and ever compared to those baby heterosexuals.”

“But...”

“I know. It hurts when a man can marry Hatsune Fucking Miku but you can’t marry your own girlfriend...”

“No.”

Michiru kissed Haruka.

“Our own story is waiting to be told, a true adventure that usually gets overlooked. We shouldn’t let a stupid paper let us do what we want. Screw the rules, we make them.”

“Do you mean...”

They kissed and cried for the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WEDDING IS DECEMBER 31!


	184. July 2: Cape Town

It was happening.

The moment Haruka was waiting for for almost six months now.

Sure, she was newly engaged to her longtime lover, Michiru Kaioh, but this thing was more of the humorous kind.

She and her girlfriend liked to make fun of meme songs, and laugh at them.

Whenever Despacito was played on the radio, it was impossible for Haruka and Michiru to listen without yelling “THIS IS SO SAD! ALEXA...”

Whenever Delicate by Taylor Swift was played, they had to yell “1, 2, 3, LET’S GO BITCH!” at the part where it was designated.

And don’t even get them started on All Star. They can’t even watch the opening sequence of Shrek without laughing just because of the song anymore.

But their number one inside joke was Africa. No, not the continent. The song by Toto.

Every time it was played, they laughed their asses off, jammed out and screamed the lyrics. Even when they were in public, they couldn’t stand still. But being in public when it played helped: after all, they got to play with their French fries and use them as microphones.

And today, you may ask? It was the culmination of their little inside joke.

Africa was being played in Africa.


	185. July 3: Moscow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> vodka.

As soon as Michiru Kaioh ran off stage when her show finished, she dropped her violin and went on a couch.

“Vodka.”

Her girlfriend, Haruka, walked in on her, where she was acting like a begging puppy in need of some nourishment.

“Vodka.”

“What?”

“Vodka.”

“Why?”

Michiru intensely stared at Haruka.

“VODKA.”

“Ok, ok.”, sighed Haruka. She knew that when her lover wanted alcohol, her lover wanted alcohol.

So sadly, she ran all the way back to a store that sold authentic Russian vodka, bought 5 boxes of it, and ran all the way back to the venue.

“Here’s your vodka, now shut up.”

The door slammed open. It was the cashier.

“BUT YOU’RE A MINOR!”


	186. July 4: Bangkok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: fun fact- I learned how to pronounce Thailand properly live on radio disney its a long story but it was really embarrassing lmao  
> Also happy ‘merica day to my fellow ‘mericans... unless you have loud noise sensitivity like me than good luck tonight

There were fireworks. Fireworks as Michiru tried her best to play her damn violin. 

It seemed preposterous- after all, today was July 4, a normal day. Right? RIGHT?

Once she finished and Haruka took her back to the luxury Bangkok hotel they were staying at, Michiru looked something up.

“Why are they shooting off fireworks it’s July 4 it’s just a normal day...” 

According to Google: Independence Day (USA)

Both lovers screamed in horror.

“AMERICA? BUT WE’RE IN THAILAND!”

A knock was then heard from the door. Rushing, Michiru grabbed it. “Hello?”

Cheering was heard.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA! FROM THE AMERICAN GIRL DOLL FANCLUB!”

“What’s an American Girl doll-“

“WHAT?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another fun fact about myself: I own every American Girl doll ever made. Not joking.


	187. July 5: Jetlagged

They were about to go to their show in Shanghai.

But then the unthinkable happened.

Michiru walked on stage, and got out her violin. She almost started playing.

But then she fell asleep onstage.

Haruka rolled her eyes. 

“Looks like someone was a tad embarrassed to admit their jet lag...”


	188. July 6: Seoul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM HOME YEET! Can’t wait to start writing again instead of posting pre-written stuff!

This was it. The last stop on Michiru’s tour, but one of the most exciting days in the history of her and Haruka’s lives.

For two weeks now, she was playing on the stage every night. But tonight, right before she went to her final show, she was in the crowd for a change.

She was screaming her head off, along with Haruka.

“AHA AISHA! EU! MIA! OUR BIASES!”

They were the happiest girls in the world, just because they were at a 3-song Everglow concert.


	189. July 7: Be Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's only one wish for Tanabata.

The pens were on the flags, and the yukata-clad couple, Haruka Tenoh and Michiru Kaioh, smiled at eachother.

"You ready?"

"I was born ready for this shit."

"3!"

"2!"

"1!"

They wrote down the same two words on their Tanabata festival wish flags.

"BE HAPPY."

 


	190. July 8: Rated R

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is what happens when you forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I woke up this morning and realized I forgot to write a story yesterday so I yelled the F bomb so I decided to write a story about the F bomb

Haruka and Michiru woke up in a hurry. It was 7:02 am.

They set their alarm for 6 am.

They looked at each other.

”FUCK!”

 

* * *

While they were waiting for breakfast to come, Michiru grabbed her violin. She started fastly playing the intro to ‘Crazy Train’, but once she made it to the fastest part...

Her violin. DROPPED.

”FUCK!”

She screamed that as Haruka paid for the food.

* * *

 

Later that day, Hotaru was giving one of her random PowerPoints about a random subject. This one was about the American movie rating system.

”You can say ‘shit’ or ‘bitch’ or ‘ass’ as much as you want in a PG-13 movie. But once you say ‘fuck’ twice, it’s rated R.

Haruka and Michiru looked at eachother.

”I F-bombed twice today.”

”You’re rated R.”

”FUCK!”


	191. July 9: Stream Three Lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stream Chasin' After You, See Me Boku-Tachi No Jidai and A Shooting Star Light

"Yozora wo suberu ryuusei no  
Imawa no kirameki ni kake"

The loud music blasted from Hotaru's room, where she was dancing with Chibiusa.

Haruka sighed in her room. 

"They've been listening to that shit all day."

Michiru tapped her hand.

"What? Is someone still pissed that I offered Seiya a chance to help me change-"

"DON'T MENTION THAT CRAP!"

She got her earbuds in her ears and started blasting Kodo.


	192. July 10: Patience Test

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka's getting tested.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Period induced rant writing YAY

Loud music was blasting through the air.

Everyone except for her lover was wanting the world out of her. 

"HARUKA THIS!"

"HARUKA THAT!"

Period cramps.

"UGH!", she screamed.

"CAN EARTH STOP TESTING ME?"


	193. July 11: Sad Boi Hours with Hotaru

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka and Michiru guest star on Hotaru's YouTube show.

"Hello! Welcome to Sad Boi Hours with Hotaru. Today, we have 2 very special guests: Haruka-papa and Michiru-mama!"

As they waved to the camera that Chibiusa was holding, Haruka and Michiru whispered to each other.

"What are we even gonna do on here?", asked Haruka.

"I don't know. I'm a little scared..."

"Okay! So we need to see what's the saddest thing that my viewers submitted. Is it sadder that Twitter was down today or a soccer game played the wrong song for the National Anthem?"

"Twitter being down.", both of them said in unison.

"Twitter being down or the Volkswagen Beetle being discontinued?"

Michiru: "Twitter."

Haruka: "Beetle."

"Chibiusa, what's sadder?"

"I have to go with Twitter.", she said.

"Ok. Twitter being down or YouTube starting to have double ads?"

"Double ads!", all 3 yelled.

"Okay, we have one more. What's the saddest thing: YouTube starting to have double ads or the oligarchy that runs the world ignoring the dire effects of climate change and the fact that if we do nothing the world will be Thanosed in fifty years and the Silver Crystal can't fix any of it and Crystal Tokyo won't be a thing and my girlfriend won't be born...."

Silence.

"CLIMATE CHANGE. Duh."


	194. July 12: I Cri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that I was late AGAIN it’s just cramps and I came home really late last night cause I saw spider man again

It was thundering.

And lightning.

And pouring.

Basically, every condition NOT to fly a helicopter in.

But Haruka and Michiru were in there.

”I cri.”, said Haruka.


	195. July 13: What Does S Stand For?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm a few years too late but who cares periods mean memeingful stories

_Smile._

_Sweet._

_Sister._

_Sadistic_ _._

_Surprise._

_Service._  
  
Michiru looked at Haruka. 

"What comes next?"

"You know."

"Um... I don't know..."

"It starts with the same two letters as the last thing. And it's a three-letter-"

Michiru ran to her bed and immediately started ripping off her dress.

 


	196. July 14: Haruka’s Diary

Dear Diary,

rain drop

drop top

im gonna pass out

(also get me tickets to America I want to go to Area 51)

-haru


	197. July 15: Whipping Nehellenia's Ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Queen of Darkness returns... and is gone in a flash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm watching the new Stars dub and as I struggle through the last of the Nehellenia filler episodes I thought it would be fun to write a little story about what would've happened if Uranus and Neptune were paired together... but COME ON I JUST WANT TO SEE MY CHILDREN THE SAILOR STARLIGHTS

Haruka and Michiru deadpan stared down Nehellenia.

"Come on. Stop torturing our Princess."

_WORLD SHAKING!_

No effect.

_DEEP SUBMERGE!_

Nothing.

_SPACE SWORD BLASTER!_

Nehellenia was still there.

_SUBMARINE REFLECTION!_

Not one scratch.

Michiru's face got red. She got out her fan, and reached over to Haruka.

"You know what to do..."

_MAGICAL SPANKING!_

Nehellenia then disappeared into nothingness.

And that is how, in an alternate universe, Sailor Moon Stars has no six-episode filler arc at the beginning.


	198. July 16: Broke

"HELP!", screamed Haruka and Michiru.

Their wallet was screaming.

Their credit cards were hanging on by a thread.

Everything was about to go 'kaboom' in their lives.

But Setsuna just walked by, laughing.

"What's so funny? This is a CRISIS, Setsie! A CRISIS!", yelled Haruka.

"First, don't call me by that stupid nickname."

"But-"

"And second, this isn't a crisis. You have nine hundred ninety nine billion yen in your bank account, I think you two will be fine."

"Nine hundred... ninety nine.... billion?", squeaked Michiru.

"BUT WE'RE NOT TRILLIONAIRES ANYMORE!"

Haruka just speed dialed Chibi Chibi.


	199. July 17: Death

Death: By Michiru Kaioh

_Death has came to me many times_

_But it’s never happened in vain_

_Cause, you see_

_Sure protecting the Princess is noble_

_And it’s my duty_

_But a world without Haruka would not be fun_

_And if we die together_

_Protecting the Earth’s light_

_It would be_

_A life fulfilled_


	200. July 18: Old Shame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michiru thought she wiped off her old Yuri on Ice fanfic. But I guess not...

Haruka: remember this?

tvtropes.org/FanFic/ErosOnTheIce

Michiru: What?

NO! 

I thought all mention of my crappy Yuri on Ice fanfic was gone FOREVER!

I thought I was safe!

What should I do, Haruka?

;(

Haruka: well

i mean

you sold the story

to that movie company

so...

Michiru: I didn't want the original version to be compared to the improved story!

I'm screwed...

At this rate I should just become an admin of TVTropes...


	201. July 19: Back Pimples

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is my 200th story really gonna be about that one thing bugging me right now? Yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY 200TH! We have only 165 to go now! Holy cow...

"OW!", screamed Michiru as Haruka tried to squeeze her back.

"What's wrong? You asked me to do so!"

"Well, maybe it's because there's a huge pimple near my brastrap and it's KILLING ME!"

"Yeah, true."

Michiru then took off her bra.

"Maybe there's something we can do that doesn't involve crap like that..."

* * *

Hotaru was walking near the pantry to get a midnight snack, when she heard the familiar moans.

"Not again... it's the sixth time they've went at it this week..."


	202. July 20: Rashiku Ikimasho Bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rarara NEBA GIBUAPPU

The music started at the club.

Michiru dropped her wine.

Haruka dropped her beer.

They ran to the dance floor and immediately transformed.

People were confused, but they winked at eachother and yelled.

"LA LA LA NEVER GIVE UP GANBARU WA!"

They laughed.

"Rashiku ikimasho, bitch."


	203. July 21: Haruka's Top 10 Meme Songs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I forgot AGAIN (thanks a lot film shoot), so I'm writing 2 important memetic chapters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR FORGETTING! I'm actually a director and I had a short film shoot today! I had so much fun, but you guys get 2 memetic lists because I have to edit the movie and I don't want to forget 2 days in a row.

Haruka's Top 10 Meme Songs

10- u wAS AT THE CLUBBBB 

9- des.....pa.....CITO

8- The entire LazyTown soundtrack.

7- sO YOU'RE SAYING THAT YOU AINT GOT RHYTHM...

6- shooting stars will never die in my book.

5- sMILE SWEET SISTER SADISTIC

4- Scatman (bUhBuhBuhBeEbUhBuHbUhBuHbUhHhH)

3- Cruel Angel's Thesis (the cat version is superior)

2- Running In The 90's. Who can go wrong with that?

1- AFRICA. Duh.


	204. July 22: Michiru's Top 10 Meme Songs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More memes!

10\. nYAN NYAN NYAN

9\. the attack on titan op goes with everything

8\. RUNNING IN THE 90SSSS

7\. dEJA VU! i'VE JUST BEEN IN THIS PLACE BEFOREEE

6\. lET IT GROW LET IT GROWWWW

5\. sMILE! sWEET! sISTER! sADTISTIC!

4\. oCEAN MANNNNN 

3\. iM BLUE BADABEEEE

2\. sad violin... so sad...

1\. i BLESS THE RAINS DOWN IN-


	205. July 23: Popular Men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seiya schools Haruka on popular men.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I binged six episodes of Stars today because I'm sick (again!) and decided to write this. Or, since I'm sick, remix something else.

_I am Seiya_

_Seiya Kou_

That Seiya

That Seiya Kou!

I do not like that Seiya Kou!

_Do you like popular men?_

I do not like them, Seiya Kou. I do not like popular men.

_Would you like them here or there?_

I would not like them here or there.

I would not like them anywhere.

I do not like popular men

I do not like them, Seiya Kou.

_Would you like them cleaning your house?_

_Would you like them with Michiru?_

I do not like them cleaning my house.

I do not like them with Michiru.

I do not like them here or there.

I do not like them anywhere.

Not in a box.

Not online.

I would not, could not in a tree.

Not in a car! You let me be.

Not in a train! Not in the dark!

Not in the rain! Not with a trillion yen!

Not with the second season of Spec-Ops Asuka!

Never! Never! I fucking HATE POPULAR MEN!

_You do not like them. So you say._

_Hang with them! Hang with them!_

_And you may._

_Hang with them and you may, I say._

Seiya!

JUST MOTHERFUCKING LEAVE ALREADY PUT YOUR BDE BACK IN KINMOKU WHERE IT BELONGS

JUST LEAVE ME BE FROM ALL THIS FUCKING MESS PLEASE!

I'M A OUT AND PROUD LESBIAN WHO FUCKING HATES POPULAR MEN!


	206. July 24: Call My Name... And I'll Be There For You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Call My Name from the old Sailor Moon dub came on my playlist and I remembered Jennifer Cihi saying that it reminded her of the Friends theme when I went to her concert at Animazement a few months back... so I made a memetic story cause oF COURSE I'M STILL SICK AND WHEN I'M SICK YOU GET MEMETIC STUFF

The familiar music soared through the speakers, and Haruka and Michiru were mentally laughing.

Ever since they discovered the English version of Sailor Moon a few months back, they've wanted to do this. But now, they finally got to.

'There are days when those gray skies make you blue...'

CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP.

For the rest of the song, they laughed.

"VKUSNO!"

"How was that delicious, Haruka? You're deliriously drunk..."


	207. July 25: A Memeingful Concert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i had to.

While everyone else was screaming at the top of their lungs and squirming around, Haruka and Michiru were pigtail-clad in red dresses and holding signs telling people to stream their 'favorite' artist.

"DO IT!"

"GET OUR QUEEN HER WIN!"

"IGGY AZALEA COULD NEVER!"

They laughed, but then someone was walking there.

Someone... familiar.

"MAMO, COME ON! I NEED TO GET THE FRONT ROW FOR THE PEPPA PIG CONCERT!"

"Hey, kitt-"

Michiru dragged Haruka by the tiny pigtail.

"WE ARE LEAVING THIS PLACE! USAGI WILL NOT SEE US HERE!"

"But we were paid by Rei to do this..."


	208. July 26: Let's Dance

Music started blasting through the restaurant.

The blaring sound might've been too much to bear for others, but not for Haruka Tenoh and Michiru Kaioh.

As they ran out of their seats, Hotaru gasped. 

"Oh no."

Her girlfriend Chibiusa nodded.

"Oh no."

Their cat, Diana, said, "Oh no."

Somewhere on Kinmoku, you could hear Yaten sigh, "Oh no."

* * *

 

It was two in the morning, and Haruka and Michiru were wasted. 

Chibiusa and Hotaru were dragging both of them out of the restaurant, tired.

"Well, we're going to be sleeping for a long time tomorrow."


	209. July 27: Plus Ultra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm on a BNHA hype train right now because I'm meeting the English voices of Deku and All Might tomorrow so here's a joke story about the saying 'Plus Ultra'.

"Plus Ultra.", said Hotaru. "Did you know that saying has been used in many different forms?"

Haruka and Michiru shook their heads. Since Setsuna was on a research trip in a different country, they were forced to hear one of Hotaru's pointless PowerPoints. Today's subject? Plus ultra.

"Most people know it as-"

"U.A's motto?", laughed Michiru. "You know My Hero Academia's one of the shows your Haruka-papa and I watch and joke around about."

"Yeah, that too. I was getting to that. But anyways, it's mostly known as Spain's official slogan."

"SPAIN?", gasped both Haruka and Michiru.

"I guess My Hero Academia actually takes place in Spain and not Japan.", cracked up Haruka.

"Probably. I didn't research that part."


	210. July 28: Not Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This goes out to all the pubescent girls...

She was just enjoying her happy little shower. The sound of the violin, the crashing of the waves... Michiru was in heaven.

But then, all of a sudden, the tingling started. The familiar pain cancelled out the beauty of her shower.

"Oh shit."

* * *

 

"HARUKA! DO YOU THINK VICTORIA SECRET HAS G CUP BRAS?"

"I don't think so, Michiru... sorry."

"WHAT? So, that means, it's happened so much... it's not even in a regular size anymore."

Michiru ran into Haruka's arms.

"PLEASE PROTECT ME DURING THIS TIME OF PAINNNNN!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm now a G cup and the fuckers on my chest have been annoying me all damn day. Congratulations mammies, you get a chapter ridiculing you because of HOW MUCH YOU HURT.


	211. July 29: Overly Long Monopoly Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's an overly long Monopoly game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sister promised we'd play with my new Sailor Moon Monopoly but then she ditched me to watch The Bachelorette so I decided to imagine playing Monopoly in today's story so I wouldn't feel lonely

HOUR 1.

Everyone was sober, Haruka was ranting that there was no Outer Senshi on the money, and nobody was in jail.

* * *

 

HOUR 2. 

There was four bottles of vodka consumed, Hotaru was in jail and Haruka owned Tuxedo Mask.

* * *

 

HOUR 3.

Setsuna was bankrupt, Haruka was starting to go crazy and Michiru was borderline drunk.

* * *

 

HOUR 4. 

Setsuna went to bed, Michiru was hella drunk, and Haruka was cursing at Hotaru, who was skillfully buying everything she could.

* * *

 

HOUR 5.

"I win!", shouted Haruka, as Hotaru fainted and slept on the hundred dollar paper money bills.


	212. July 30: Baby Flour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aka why HaruMichi should be a sitcom...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the wonderful @CCTakato for posting this to the inter webs and inspiring my writing

The baby was crying again.

* * *

 

Sure, it annoyed Michiru. But Haruka was armed and ready.

”Hotaru, come on! Eat your formula!”

She got out her formula, scooped it up with a spoon, and almost shoved it into Hotaru’s mouth.

But Michiru cringed at what her lover was doing.

“Come to Papa!”

”Haruka...”

”Come to Papa!”

”HARUKA!”

”What?”

”That’s not the baby formula!”

Haruka stopped, looked down at the spoon and blushed.

”I swear it is. See, it says so on the box!”

Haruka grabbed the box. “It says...”

”FLOUR.”

”Oops, my bad.”

From another dimension, a laugh track played over their misfortune.


	213. July 31: When A Restaurant Makes A Big Deal Out Of Some Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka and Michiru are just enjoying their date when the waitresses decide to embarrass someone celebrating his birthday...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I was in Disney World I got a message from a really sweet HaruMichi reader (BlackHatHere) asking me if I could make a chapter for their friend Evan on his birthday, which is today! I also have been in too many awkward restaurant birthday situations... so I decided to combine the two and this chapter was born!  
> Happy birthday, Evan! I hope you have a great day today, and may all your wishes come true!

Haruka and Michiru were just having a relaxing date, like usual. Quietly, they munched on their food and sipped on their wine.

 

As Michiru sipped, she sighed in relief. “Nobody’s here. This is so relaxing-“

 

All of a sudden, a horde of waitresses and waiters hastily ran to the table in front of the happy couple, clapping their hands.

 

“1, 2, 3!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!”

 

The entire restaurant started clapping along, except for Haruka and Michiru, who just dropped their wine glasses.

 

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR EVAN!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!”

 

As the rest of the restaurant cheered like it was a sports game and the person who was presumed to be Evan was given an entire cake, Haruka and Michiru looked at each other.

 

“That was awkward.”, said Haruka.

“I mean, Evan totally deserves that big ass cake after all those waitresses probably embarrassed him.”

“He’s being a trooper, though. I don’t think I’d be able to have an entire restaurant staring at me just for cake.”

 

Haruka than ran to the table where Evan was sitting and slipped a 10,000 yen bill with a sticky note:

 

“Sorry those crazy waitresses embarrassed you and wrecked the peace of this place. Happy birthday!

-Haruka and Michiru”


	214. August 1: We Should’ve Died Yesterday

“An asteroid just flew past Earth... and we didn’t notice.”

Michiru and Haruka sighed.

”Damn it!”, yelled Haruka. “I wanted to perish.”

”We should’ve died yesterday.”


	215. August 2: Overbearing Family Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This can be annoying...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to meet an overbearing family friend today and it was no fun.

"HARU-SWEETIE!"

The old lady gave Haruka a hug.

"I haven't seen you in years! How have you been, sweetie?"

"Um, who are you?", asked Haruka.

"Oh, Haru-sweetie! I'm your father's childhood best friend's mother! Don't you remember me? I'm Hoshiko!"

"I don't remember you-"

"OOH!", the random lady said, touching Michiru's hair. "Who's this friend of yours? Are you two sisters? Cousins?"

"Oh. That's my fiance, Michiru."

The random lady's face went red. 

"Oh, I'm sorry. I must've got the wrong person. Sorry, young man!"

The random family friend ran away in a hurry, and Haruka sighed.

"I never came out to her."

"Well that's a good thing. Now, we're freed from that pest!"


	216. August 3: Uninvited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a party and HaruMichi ain't invited.

Dressed just like Tuxedo Mask, Hotaru ran down the staircase to the front door.

"Hotaru, sweetie, where are you going?", asked Michiru.

"Yeah, kitten.", added Haruka. "Are you and Small Lady going on a date?"

Hotaru grinned. "I wish. Ikuko's taking me, Chibiusa and Usagi to Mamoru's birthday party at the shrine!"

She ran out the door in a hurry. "Bye!"

Haruka and Michiru glanced at each other in pure shock.

"Were we-"

"Not invited-"

"TO A PARTY?"

"THEY HATE US!", Haruka and Michiru cried.

* * *

 

Later at the party, when Hotaru and Chibiusa were dancing together, Rei smiled at the both of them.

"Thank god we didn't invite your mommies!"

"Yeah. But I bet you they're probably getting drunk at some bar. I know them too well-"

Chibiusa butted heads with her girlfriend. "I bet you the manager will have to come out and call an Uber for them-"

* * *

 

"Ah, a night alone.", said Michiru as she ate the popcorn in her bed.

"Yeah. We can finally watch our new Spec-Ops Asuka DVD... SHUT UP THE OPENING'S STARTING! HARD AND SHARP NAIL-"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually wrote this while eating popcorn anyways IF YOURE IN JAPAN BUY THE NEW MGSOA DVD SO I CAN GET SEASON 2 ITS AVAILABLE AT MAGICAL-FIVE.JP oh sorry this turned into a commercial but YEET


	217. August 4: In Which MiraculousStuff Plays Mad Libs Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is what I do when I have a tight deadline for my script and I need sleep. I play a game I haven’t played since third grade unless you count HaruMichi.

Dear Michiru ,  
  
You are extremly Beautiful and I Running you! I want kiss your Kidney 666 times. You make my Heart burn with desire. When I first saw you, I Fastly stared at you and fell in love. Will you Swim out with me? Don`t let your parents discourage you, they are just jealous.  
  
Yours forever, Haruka


	218. August 5: The Cousins Movie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The script of the Bee Movie but I made some Sailor Moon references.  
> This is what happens when I don't write... and you can go to my end notes to find out why I didn't properly write today.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a Cousin should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The Cousin, of course, flies anyway because Cousins don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Haruka! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Haruka? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Haruka, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Haruka. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Haruka. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Cousin-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished Cousins, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a Cousin, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Cloverway Dub begins when our valiant World Shaking Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Cloverway Dub! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of Cousin existence. These Cousins are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of Cloverway Dub that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most Cousin jobs are small ones. But Cousins know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that Cousins, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're Cousins. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are World Shaking Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a World Shaking Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more World Shaking than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Cousins make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a World Shaking Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunDeep Submerge patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Haruka! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you Cousin enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the Cloverway Dub field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into Cloverway Dub! - Haruka, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into Cloverway Dub. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some Cloverway Dub and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. World Shaking counting, stunt Cousin, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A Cousin died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt Cousin, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Haruka, what do you think I should... Haruka? Haruka! All right, we've got the sunDeep Submerge patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, Cousins cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root Cousinr being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, Cousin law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those Deep Submerges! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Deep Submerges! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some World Shaking here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's World Shaking power. More World Shaking, more Deep Submerges, more nectar, more Cloverway Dub for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these Deep Submerges seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving Deep Submerge? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a Deep Submerge, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of Cousins! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are Deep Submerges. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, Cloverway Dub, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a Cousin in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, Cousin. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Cousin going down! Chibiusa, could you close the window please? Chibiusa, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I preCloverwayted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Cousin! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Michiru. Thanks. - Michiru, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Chibiusa. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a Cousin law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a Cousin! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a Cousin. - Yeah. I'm talking to a Cousin. And the Cousin is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, Cloverway Dub." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Cousins are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be riCloverwayulous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a Cousin joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Haruka? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is Deep Submerges. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has Cousinn great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Haruka. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Cousin-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a Cousin law. You wouldn't break a Cousin law. - Her name's Michiru. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking Cousin, my friend. Thinking Cousin! - Thinking Cousin. - Thinking Cousin. Thinking Cousin! Thinking Cousin! Thinking Cousin! Thinking Cousin! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Haruka? I gotta start thinking Cousin? How much longer will this go on? It's Cousinn three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a Cousin! Would it kill you to make a little Cloverway Dub? Haruka, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Haruka, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Michiru! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Cousin-ish. They have a huge parade of Deep Submerges every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by Deep Submerges, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb Cousins! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Cousin, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Cousins make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just Cloverway Dub, Haruka. Just what?! Cousins don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taChibiusa our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice Cloverway Dub out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset Cousins! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the Cloverway Dub coming from? Tell me where! Cloverway Dub Farms! It comes from Cloverway Dub Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Cloverway Dub Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, Cousin! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Cousin! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, Cousin boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of Cloverway Dub jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that Cloverway Dub's ours. - Cousins hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, Cousin! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A Cousin's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the Cloverway Dub, and we make the money. "They make the Cloverway Dub, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Cousin Cloverway Dub. Our Cloverway Dub is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Haruka, stop. Who told you humans are taking our Cloverway Dub? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's Cousinn talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Haruka! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The Cousins! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Haruka, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than Cousins! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our Cloverway Dub? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one Cousin do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more Cousin beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county Cousin, Haruka Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our Cloverway Dub, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Cousin Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Haruka Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Cousins have never Cousinn afraid to change the world. What about Cousin Oolumbus? Cousin Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The Cousin community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the Cousin century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Chibiusa. She's 81. Cloverway Dub, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same Cousin? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, Cousin. This is Chibiusa. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have Cousinn at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has Cousinn a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Cousins have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of Deep Submerges, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial Deep Submerges. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Cousins must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Cloverway Dub, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a Cloverway DubCousin can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Haruka? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the Cousin team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Haruka Cousin Benson v. the Cloverway Dub Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the Cousins of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking Cousin! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary Cousin. Cloverway Dub's pretty important to me. It's important to all Cousins. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our Cloverway Dub, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Cloverway Dub Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Cloverway Dubburton and Honron! Yes, they provide Cousinkeepers for our farms. Cousinkeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any Cousin-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free Cousins. You keep Cousins. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of Cloverway Dub. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill Cousins! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never Cousinn a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of Cousin culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever Cousinn stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless Cousins so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Chibiusa! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Haruka. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Chibiusa, Haruka was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Cousins have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Chibiusa, I let Haruka borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of Deep Submerges. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Chibiusa, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Chibiusa! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like Cloverway Dub! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little Cousin! And he happens to be the nicest Cousin I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking Cousins, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Chibiusa. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Chibiusa and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Haruka Benson Cousin to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about Cousins. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Cousin, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a Cousin documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the Cousin children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Haruka... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate Cousin, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing Cousins! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have Cousinn felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the Cloverway DubCousins versus the human race took a pointed turn against the Cousins yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Cousins don't smoke. Right. Cousins don't smoke. Cousins don't smoke! But some Cousins are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Cousins are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these riCloverwayulous bugs taChibiusa up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a Cousin smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a Cousin. Look at what has happened to Cousins who have never Cousinn asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly adCloverwayted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as Cloverway Dub slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these Cousins! Free the Cousins! Free the Cousins! Free the Cousins! Free the Cousins! Free the Cousins! The court finds in favor of the Cousins! Michiru, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the Cloverway Dub will finally belong to the Cousins. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Haruka, how much Cloverway Dub is out there? All right. One at a time. Haruka, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've Cousinn living the Cousin way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all Cousin work camps. Then we want back the Cloverway Dub that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate Cousin-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of Cloverway Dub in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down Cloverway Dub production! Stop making Cloverway Dub! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting Cloverway Dub production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much Cloverway Dub was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our Cloverway Dub back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our Cloverway Dub? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Cloverway Dub really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess Cousins. Cousins? Specifically, me. I didn't think Cousins not needing to make Cloverway Dub would affect all these things. It's notjust Deep Submerges. Fruits, vegetables, they all need Cousins. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Haruka... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Michiru? Michiru? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the Deep Submerges are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Michiru, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Michiru! Roses?! Haruka? - Roses are Deep Submerges! - Yes, they are. Deep Submerges, Cousins, World Shaking! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Haruka! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the Deep Submerge shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the World Shaking. I know every Cousin, plant and Deep Submerge bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Cousins. - Park. - World Shaking! - Deep Submerges. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but Deep Submerges, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Michiru Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it Cousinn in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough World Shaking to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough World Shaking to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Haruka, these are cut Deep Submerges with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Cousin! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Haruka. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Michiru Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another Cousin joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Michiru Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Haruka Benson. From the Cloverway Dub trial?! Oh, great. Michiru, this is nothing more than a big metal Cousin. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Haruka! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Haruka Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Haruka! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, Deep Submerges and an incapacitated flight crew. Deep Submerges?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a Cousin on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a Cousin shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making Cloverway Dub takes a lot of Cousins doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get Cousins back to working together. That's the Cousin way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Haruka, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have Cousinn helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Michiru, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any Deep Submerges for a happy occasion in there? The World Shaking Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think Cousin, Haruka. - Thinking Cousin. - Thinking Cousin. Thinking Cousin! Thinking Cousin! Thinking Cousin! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking Cousin! Thinking Cousin! Thinking Cousin! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking Cousin! Thinking Cousin! Thinking Cousin! - Michiru, aim for the Deep Submerge. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on Cousin power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that Deep Submerge! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that Deep Submerge! The other one! - Which one? - That Deep Submerge. - I'm aiming at the Deep Submerge! That's a fat guy in a Deep Submergeed shirt. I mean the giant pulsating Deep Submerge made of millions of Cousins! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Haruka! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Haruka, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Haruka, it worked! Did you see the giant Deep Submerge? What giant Deep Submerge? Where? Of course I saw the Deep Submerge! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last World Shaking from the last Deep Submerges available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make Cloverway Dub, pollinate Deep Submerges and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be Cousins, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're Cousins! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Haruka. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a World Shaking Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Haruka. Mom! The Cousins are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some Cloverway Dub with that? It is Cousin-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Haruka, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Haruka, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Haruka. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Haruka! That Cousin is living my life! Let it go, Chibiusa. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking Cousin, my friend. - Thinking Cousin! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did this in protest to the idea that people with mental illnesses need to be confined... because we DON'T. I have autism, anxiety and depression, and without my differences, I wouldn't be who I am! I can live a good life and contribute to society, even with them. And even though that will probably never happen, I still wish that people would ditch hate and choose love.


	219. August 6: Cat Girls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nyan!

Haruka and Michiru walked on the streets of Akihabara, like everyone else.

Unlike everyone else, though, they were getting all the attention.

* * *

 

"OH MY GOSH! THEY'RE ACTUAL CAT GIRLS!"

"WE'VE DONE IT!"

"AWW!"

The crowd kept taking picture after picture of the couple, dressed in cat outfits.

The two only knew one thing to do... 

They put their hands up like a cat and smiled.

"NYAN!"


	220. August 7: Fire, Fire, Fire!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Haruka and Michiru take a song literally...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was listening to Fire from Sera Myu while I was about to write and I thought of this.
> 
> If you listen while reading it will fit more: https://youtu.be/BhzLkmSAmZU?t=30

"HITOMI WO MIKA WASEBA! MINA OMOI WA TADA HITOSU!", Haruka and Michiru screamed as they ran around getting their flames ready.

_Koko de hareyaka ni maiodori!_

_Fightin’! Higher!_   
_Wow wow woh!_

The couple set their flames to everything in sight.

They then started dancing around and laughing.

But their neighbors weren't amused...

"Fire! Fire! Fire!"

"Fire! Fire! Fire!"

Michiru then transformed and put out the fires with Deep Submerge.

After, she hugged Haruka and laugh.

"Our job here is done.", she said.

"We got others to sing along."

_Fire! Fire! Fire!_


	221. August 8: We're Clowns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Miraculous fandom suffered today, so I thought I'd poke fun at us.

"So, who wants to see a new Miraculous Ladybug episode?"

"ME! ME!", shouted Haruka and Michiru.

Hotaru ran in, screaming as well. "ME- wait, you guys like Miraculous too?"

Michiru nodded. "It's a guilty pleasure."

"And of course we had to help get to 8,888 viewers on the livestream!", added Haruka. 

As the fangirls squealed, the choices popped up on the screen.

"Do you want Stormy Weather 2 or Chris Master? Vote now!"

Haruka and Michiru just stared and laughed.

"Those episodes are old!"

"We were fooled- we were clowns."


	222. August 9: Master

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm working on my movie today so here's a memeingful chapter. Also, Master of Puppets is gonna be in said movie. Funny the way life rolls.

" _Master Of Puppets,_ but every time they say Master, we drink.", Haruka declared. 

"O.....kay?", nodded Michiru. "I'm not so sure about this, we'll have to get an Uber again."

* * *

 

28 shots later, they were all boozed up.

"Master! Master! Come on, fucking call an Uber!"


	223. August 10: A Bunch Of Memes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memes are king.

Haruka walked up to Michiru in the crowded bar and started screaming.

”HUSH HUSH HUSH! BLUSH BLUSH BLUSH!”

”U R NOW MY BIG FAT CRUSH!”


	224. August 11: The Day We Met Akira Sekine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More anime con adventures.

Cheesy pop was blaring in the background, and cosplayers were dancing, playing cards, playing Dance Dance Revolution... just living it up, typical anime con stuff.

But the half-chaos half-serenity turned into all chaos once Akira Sekine arrived to the autograph booth.

At first, nobody noticed. It was a tiny con at a hotel, and people weren't there for autographs, they were there for video games and friend time.

But the screams started.

"WE LOVE YOU AKIRA-SAN!", yelled 2 people in badly done-cosplays.

The cosplayers started squeeing, dropping a bunch of merch on the autograph table and shoving out autograph books.

"I'm Haruka!"

"I'm Michiru!"

"AND THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF OUR LIVES!"

The girls ended up hogging the autograph booth for the entirety of the con.

* * *

 

"I have to go now. Bye, angels!", said Akira, yawning.

"Oh, one more thing.", said Haruka. 

She glanced at Michiru, and they sighed.

"We would've met you 2 months ago but we missed the autograph session for dancing."


	225. August 12: Who Eats Cereal At 4 Am?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michiru wants cereal at 4 am. The reason will shock you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gomen nesai I forgot again! I need to stop forgetting... at least I remember to write again! Anyways, here's your regularly scheduled HaruMichi story.
> 
> Based on OTP Prompts and Fanfic Ideas's prompt!

"Haruka!" 

"Haruka!"

Tiredly, Haruka woke up to Michiru holding bowls of cereal. 

With her mouth stuffed in cereal, Michiru said, "I want someone to eat cereal with."

"But it's 4 am! Who would eat cereal at 4 am?"

Michiru sighed. 

"I just wanted a reason to be with you, is all…”

* * *

 

"We sleep together every night."

"Ok, fine, I just wanted cereal."


	226. August 13: Surveys For Money

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quick chapter poking fun at surveys for money cause I’ve been doing that lately.

Haruka typed fastly on her computer, smiling.

Age? 18. She was really 17, but if she said that she wouldn’t qualify. Besides, she was really 41.

House income? Prefer not to answer. 1 trillion yen would be too suspicious.

”Have you been diagnosed with Whateveritisosis?”

”No.” 

“Sorry, you don’t qualify for this survey.”

”DAMN IT I WANTED MY FIFTY CENTS!”, screamed Haruka.


	227. August 14: Awe Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So we back in the mine...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This song's been stuck in my head ever since I watched the meme video and I HAD TO REMAKE THE MEME WITH HARUMICHI
> 
> Original video if you haven't seen it: Discord Sings Revenge by CaptainSparkles

GROUP CHAT: Outer Senshi

Haruka: creeper

Michiru: Aww man

Setsuna: Awe, man!

Hotaru: AWW MANNN

So we back in the mine!

Haruka: wait wait wait

Hotaru: CREEPER

Haruka: that was just the warm up

Hotaru: *record screech*

Michiru: Lol

Haruka: k places everyone

3

2

1

creeper aw man

Setsuna: So, we back in the mine

Michiru: Got our pickaxe swinging from side to side

  
Hotaru: SIDE SIDE TO SIDE  
TIS TASK A GRUELING ONE

  
Haruka: hope to find some diamonds 2nite nite nite  
diamonds 2nite

Setsuna: Heads up!  
You hear a sound, turn around and look up

Haruka: total shock fills your body

Michiru: Oh no, it's you again, I can never forget those eyes-eyes-eyes

Haruka: eyes eyes eyes

Hotaru: CAUSE BABY TONIGHT THE CREEPER'S TRYNA STEAL ALL OUR STUFF AGAINNNN

Setsuna: 'Cause, baby, tonight, grab your pick, shovel and bolt again

Hotaru: BOLT AGAIN GAIN

Michiru: And run run

Haruka: until it's done done 

until the sun comes up in the morn

Hotaru: CAUSE BABY TONIGHTTT

*34 seconds of silence*

Setsuna: Just when you think you're safe...

Haruka: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OLD LADY SETSUNA DOESN'T UNDERSTAND MEMES

Hotaru: OH NO :(

Michiru: Man, this task is grueling

Hotaru: WE COULD DO A THREE LIGHTS SONG INSTEAD

Haruka: hotaru no

yee

viva xd

Setsuna: Perfection.

Hotaru: JUST LIKE THE YOUTUBE VIDEO

Haruka: alrightletsdothisonelasttime.mp3

creeper aw man

Setsuna: So, we back in the mine

Michiru: Got our pickaxe swinging from side to side

  
Hotaru: SIDE SIDE TO SIDE  
TIS TASK A GRUELING ONE

  
Haruka: hope to find some diamonds 2nite nite nite  
diamonds 2nite

Setsuna: Heads up!  
You hear a sound, turn around and look up

Haruka: total shock fills your body

Michiru: Oh no, it's you again, I can never forget those eyes-eyes-eyes

Haruka: eyes eyes eyes

Hotaru: CAUSE BABY TONIGHT THE CREEPER'S TRYNA STEAL ALL OUR STUFF AGAINNNN

Setsuna: 'Cause, baby, tonight, grab your pick, shovel and bolt again

Hotaru: BOLT AGAIN GAIN

Michiru: And run run

Haruka: until it's done done 

until the sun comes up in the morn

Hotaru: CAUSE BABY TONIGHTTT

THE CREEPER'S TRYNA STEAL ALL OUR STUFF AGAIN

Just when you think you're safe  
Overhear some hissing from right behind  
Right-right behind  
That's a nice life you have  
Shame it's gotta end at this time, time, time  
Time-time-time-time

Blows up  
Then your health bar drops and you could use a one-up  
Get inside, don't be tardy  
So, now you're stuck in there  
Half a heart is left, but don't die, die, die  
Die-die-die

'Cause, baby, tonight  
The creeper's tryna steal all our stuff again  
'Cause, baby, tonight  
You grab your pick, shovel, and bolt again (Bolt again-gain)  
And run, run until it's done, done  
Until the sun comes up in the morn'  
'Cause, baby, tonight  
The creeper's tryna steal all our stuff again

  
Dig up diamonds and craft those diamonds  
And make some armor, get it, baby  
Go and forge that like you so MLG pro  
The sword's made of diamonds, so come at me, bro, huh  
Training in your room under the torchlight  
Hone that form to get you ready for the big fight  
Every single day and the whole night  
Creeper's out prowlin', hoo, alright  
Look at me, look at you  
Take my revenge, that's what I'm gonna do  
I'm a warrior, baby, what else is new?  
And my blade's gonna tear through you, bring it

'Cause, baby, tonight  
The creeper's tryna steal all our stuff again  
  
Yeah, baby, tonight   
Grab your sword, armor and go   
Take your revenge, oh-oh, oh-oh  
So fight, fight, like it's the last, last night  
Of your life, life, show them your bite 

'Cause, baby, tonight  
The creeper's tryna steal all our stuff again  
'Cause, baby, tonight  
You grab your pick, shovel and bolt again   
And run, run until it's done, done  
Until the sun comes up in the morn'  
'Cause, baby, tonight   
The creeper's tryna steal all our stuff again

Haruka: wait

did you copy and paste that from the lyrics page

Hotaru: YES I DIDN'T TRUST SETSUNA TO FINISH

Setsuna: Hey!  
I was going to be good! I guess I'm not a cool mom :(

Michiru: Stop using emojis.


	228. August 15: F*ck The Sibyl System

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've been watching Psycho-Pass lately (tryna catch up before Season 3!), so I imagined what would happen if Haruka and Michiru were isekaied into that world.

"GODDAMN IT!"

Haruka and Michiru's hues were both red. There was nothing but pain in their eyes as Dominators were put into their sight.

"Psycho-Pass: 420. Execution."

The girls then transformed, and yelled at the random cop.

"WORLD SHAKING!"

"DEEP SUBMERGE!"

It was the end for the random cop.

But not for Team HaruMichi.


	229. August 16: College

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why is it necessary?

College- by Michiru Kaioh

College, why

Does it exist- wait, it does 

For torture


	230. August 17: August

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> August. How boring.

Taking a sip of some tea, Michiru sighed when she looked at the calendar.

"August. So boring."

"Why is that?", asked Haruka.

"There's no holidays. No days off, barely anything fun."

Haruka nodded. "Yeah, that's true."

"But, you know what's the worst part?"

"What?"

"BACK TO SCHOOL ADS! Those annoying thingies ALWAYS show up EVERYWHERE, and there's NO ESCAPE to them!"

"At least they're not political ads..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I've been getting on YouTube are back to school ads and political ads (thanks a lot fact that I live in NC-9). It sucks.


	231. August 18: Psychologist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if HaruMichi had to see a psychologist?

"Hello Haruka! Hello Michiru!"

Haruka and Michiru both gave the psychologist a cold stare.

"I'm Dr. Fukami, and I'll be your-"

"Um," said Michiru, "why are we even here?"

"Well, someone by the name of Miss Tomoe-"

Haruka stood up, yanking Michiru's hand.

"Bye."

* * *

 

"HOTARU, WHY DID YOU AND SETSUNA ORGANIZE A SCHEME TO TAKE US TO THE PSYCHOLOGIST?"

Hotaru giggled.

"No. You're grounded."


	232. August 19: Stream Adios

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goodbye, au revoir, adios.

Hotaru was working on one of her PowerPoints in peace, when she heard screaming from the other side of the house.

"GOODBYE! AU REVOIR! ADIOS!"

It was her moms, fangirling again.

* * *

"SEE YOU LATER! DA PIRYO EOPSEO! SEE YOU LATER! GOODBYE AU REVOIR ADIOS!"

Haruka and Michiru were screaming the new Everglow song- just like they've been doing for the past 14 hours.

As Hotaru walked to put her computer away, she heard more screeching and loud music.

"Can you guys not? You've been playing this for the last fourteen hours-"

"GOODBYE AU REVOIR ADIOS!"

* * *

 

Hotaru spent that night at Usagi's house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STREAM ADIOS!


	233. August 20: Gay Or European?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They try to crack Haruka. (Takes place during Episode 92 of Sailor Moon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's just pretend Haruka's European and have some fun.
> 
> This is obviously inspired by Legally Blonde (actually the Yuri on Ice memes but the song's from Legally Blonde)

At the Game Center Crown, Usagi, Ami, Rei, Makoto and Minako stared into the new girl, Haruka's eyes. 

Minako then burst into song.

_Minako: There! Right There!_

_Look at that tan, that tinted skin._

_Look at the killer shape she's in._

_Look at that slightly stubbly chin._

_Oh, please, she's gay, totally gay._

_Makoto: I'm not about to celebrate._

_Every trait could indicate the totally straight expatriate._

_This guy's not gay, I say not gay._

_All: That is the elephant in the room._

_Well, is it relevant to assume that a woman who wears suits is automatically radically fey?_

_Rei: But look at her coiffed and crispy locks._

_Minako: Look at her silk translucent socks._

_Makoto:  There's the eternal paradox. Look what we're seeing._

_Minako: What are we seeing?_

_Makoto: Is she gay?_

_Minako: Of course she's gay._

_Makoto: Or European?_

_All: Oh._

_Gay or European? It's hard to guarantee_

_Is she gay or European?_

_Rei: Well, hey don't look at me._

_Ami: You see they bring their girls up different in those charming foreign ports._

_They play peculiar sports._

_All: In shiny shirts and tiny shorts._

_Gay or foreign fella? The answer could take weeks._

_They will say things like "ciao bella" while they kiss you on both cheeks._

_Minako: Oh please._

_All: Gay or European? So many shades of gray._

_Rei: Depending on the time of day, the French go either way._

_All: Is she gay or European? or_

_Ami: There! Right There!_

_Look at that condescending smirk. Seen it on every girl at work._

_That is a metro hetero jerk. That gal's not gay, I say no way._

_All: That is the elephant in the room. Well is it relevant to presume that a hottie in that costume_

_Minako: Is automatically-radically_

_Makoto: Ironically chronically_

_Ami: Certainly pertin'tly_

_Rei: Genetically medically_

_All: GAY! OFFICIALLY GAY! OFFICIALLY GAY GAY GAY GAY._

Haruka started staring at Motoki.

_All: DAMNIT!_

_Gay or European?_

_Makoto: So stylish and relaxed._

_All: Is she gay or European?_

_Makoto: I think her chest is waxed._

_Ami: But they bring their girls up different there. It's culturally diverse. It's not a fashion curse._

_All: If she wears a kilt or bears a purse._

_Gay or just exotic? I still can't crack the code._

_Ami: Yet her accent is hypnotic but her shoes are pointy toed._

_All: Huh. Gay or European? So many shades of gray._

_Makoto: But if she turns out single I'm free at eight on Saturday._

_All: Is he gay or European? Gay or European? Gay or Euro-_

_Usagi: Wait a minute! Give me a chance to crack this guy. I have an idea I'd like to try._

_Makoto: The floor is yours._

_Usagi: So Ms. Tenoh.. This alleged affair with Mr. Chiba has been going on for...?_

_Haruka: 2 years._

_Usagi: And your first name again is...?_

_Haruka: Haruka._

_Usagi: And your girlfriend's name is...?_

_Haruka: Michiru._

Everybody gasped.

_Haruka: I'm sorry! I misunderstand. You say girlfriend- I thought you say best friend. Michiru is my best friend._

Michiru then entered the Game Center.

_Michiru: You bastard! You lying bastard!_

_That's it. I no cover for you, no more! Peoples. I have a big announcement._

_This woman is Gay and European!_

_WOAH!_

_And neither is her place! You've got to stop your being a completely closet case._

_No matter what she say. I swear she never ever ever swing the other way._

_You are so gay. You big parfait! You flaming girl group cabaret._

_Haruka: I'm straight!_

_Michiru: You were not yesterday._

_So if I may, I'm proud to say, She's gay!_

_All: And European!_

_Michiru: She's gay!_

_All: And European!_

_Michiru: She's gay!_

_All: And European and Gay!_

_Haruka: Fine. Okay, I'm gay!_


	234. August 21: Confession Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka and Michiru have a secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks SailorHeadcanons for this idea! Uwu

"Haruka, Michiru, why don't you- why didn't you talk to us during the whole Death Busters thing?"

Usagi was angrily pouting on the porch as Michiru and Haruka blushed in embarrassment.

"Um... confession time. We're actually allowed to talk to you guys and stuff- it's just, that was a whole excuse we made up so we could introvert."


	235. August 22: Oh Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The world is gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to write yesterday so here's what happens to Haruka and Michiru when I forget to write.

Haruka and Michiru were floating in space.

But the thing was, Japan was not on Earth. 

Earth wasn't even in space.

Wait- was this space?

No, it wasn't.

It was a big world of nothing.

"Did the writing journal girl forget again?", sighed Haruka.


	236. August 23: Very Good Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka friendzones Michiru to a soccer mom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is obviously inspired by the Miraculous episode 'Riposte'. vErY gOoD fRiEnD

**"** I personally think the point was yours.", sighed Haruka. She tied with a random soccer mom wearing an 'Adam and Eve Not Adam and Steve' shirt during a track race, but Michiru claimed the win for Haruka- which pissed off Miss Can I Speak To The Manager.

 **"** That's not what your friend saw.", sighed the soccer mom.

"Um, Michiru can get flustered easily. She's kind and means well. She'd never cheat. Today was one of her first experiences with racing."

"You must be great friends, right?"

"Michiru? Yeah, of course! She's a very good friend."

Michiru groaned from the other side of the track.

"VERY GOOD FRIEND?"


	237. August 24: Home Alone? Lip Sync!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Pluto and Saturn are away, UraNep might as well play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did this when I was home alone the other day and it was fun so might as well make Haruka and Michiru do it

Haruka was stuck on her phone, earbuds stuck in her ears. Michiru hated this- since Setsuna and Hotaru weren't home, she was lonely and had nobody to do ANYTHING with since Haruka was in PhoneLand.

"Haruka?"

Nothing.

"Haruka?"

Silence.

"Big Gangan came in the mail!"

Not a single peep.

"CREEPER!"

"AW MAN!", yelled back Haruka.

Michiru giggled. "Nice."

She walked back to the table, where two oversized Sharpies laid.

"Um, Haruka, wanna sing the Creeper song?"

* * *

 

"SO WE BACK IN THE MINE GOT OUR PICKAX SWINGING FROM SIDE TO SIDE!", lip synced Haruka. Dramatically, she swung her legs on a chair as she lip synced.

"CAUSE BABY TONIGHT!" Michiru shot off a Deep Submerge as she jumped on the table. 

"THE CREEPER'S TRYNA STEAL ALL OUR STUFF AGAIN!"

* * *

 

"BEAT BEAT BEAT KAIISHI NO BERU!"

The couple was shamelessly dancing on the table, headbanging.

* * *

 

"DOMO ARIGATO MR. ROBOTO!"

Now, they were air guitaring all over the place.

* * *

 

An hour later, there was a knock on the door.

It opened up to Haruka and Michiru shredding on the counters to 'Hysteric Bullet'.

"Haruka! Michiru! How much did you drink?"

"NOTHING, SETSUNA!"

"Well, you two are acting drunk."


	238. August 25: Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hell starts tomorrow for both me and Hotaru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I START HIGH SCHOOL TOMORROW GOD HELP ME

"Why does school have to start tomorrow, Haruka-papa?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

Michiru came into the room at the perfect moment.

"Because you need to get smarter so you can grow up to have a good life one day!"

Hotaru sighed.

"This is the twenty fifth year in a row I'm starting seventh grade do you really think I still need more to learn?"

Haruka and Michiru glanced at each other.

"Actually-"

"Okay, Hotaru. We'll-"

"NO MORE PENCILS! NO MORE BOOKS! NO MORE TEACHER'S DIRTY LOOKS!"

As Hotaru happily skipped, Haruka sighed.

"We need to get her to eighth grade."


	239. August 26: Head Pats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michiru does a kawaii thing.

_Pat._

_Pat._

Haruka's hair was a mess.

She was drooling in the sheets, and her feet were up.

"Woof! Woof!"

* * *

"Good girl wants her kawaii head pats!", Michiru said in a cutesy voice.

"nico nico nii.", Haruka purred.

* * *

 

"PERFECT!"

"Now, this will go viral on YouTube, and I, Hotaru Tomoe, will be FAMOUS!"

(It ended up getting 1 million dislikes.)


	240. August 27: Not The First

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If it wasn’t for the AO3 change date thing than HaruMichi would be long over. Here’s another makeup story about space crimes!

Michiru: This is fake!

“World’s First Space Crime”

We were the world’s first space crime.

Haruka: yeah

our existence is a crime

sailor uranus and sailor neptune is just one big ass space crime

Michiru: True that, lol!


	241. August 28: Dentists- A Poem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went to the dentist earlier today and my teeth still hurt. So I took my anger out in Michiru’s poetry.
> 
> Sorry if I offend any dentists, I don’t mean to hurt your feelings but I’m just angry about my dentist induced toothaches lol

Dentists

by Michiru Kaioh

* * *

Dumb bakas that pull on your teeth

Expecting you to pay a gazillion bucks

Never making you feel good

They only make you feel worse

I believe that the worst people in the world are dentists

Stupid glorified pain people

That need to be yeeted

 


	242. August 29: Yet Again, More Mad Libs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blame scoliosis for this one but I didn’t wanna miss a day AGAIN.

Letters To A TV Editor

How dumb can network **foreheads**.be? They cancel a **smiley** show such as "I'll Be a Monkey's **Setsuna** " and replace it with another one of those **sweet** reality shows. Why don't they take all those **caring** TV executives, put them on a desert **sister** , and leave them there to **walk**!

Signed: a **sadistic** Viewer, Haruka.  
  


Believe me, television is going to the **dogs**. I can't believe the **surprise** they're dishing out. What's being offered to the **awesome** public is truly mind- **sobbing.**

Signed: A Disenchanted **service, Hotaru**  
  


I think today's sitcoms are just as **careful** as the golden  **backs** of the past. What needs to be eliminated is the  **hard** laugh **steel**.

Signed: A Confirmed Couch **turnip, Michiru**

 


	243. August 30: Traffic the Musical

*honk honk*

*beep beep*

Haruka and Michiru gave eachother looks as they were stuck in the traffic.

”Help.”, said Michiru.

And then, music started playing from an alternate dimension. 

And then, I’ll tell you the rest tomorrow because I’m going to pass out. 


	244. August 31: The Actual Traffic Musical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A continuation from yesterday because I got tired.

The music from the other dimension was blazing in both Haruka and Michiru's heads.

The traffic was the only thing on their minds, like usual. But there was a little voice in their heads.

_Sing._

*To the tune of Eternal Eternity*

Traffic (Haruka's underlined, Michiru's italicized and both are bolded)

_Why does traffic have to be_

Traffic always is 

**So painful**   
  
_The loud horns beeping and the red lights stopping_   
_Us from going back home and doing stuff_   
The annoying radio playing songs like, I don't know   
That one Three Lights song for the twentieth time in a row

_I just want to speed up and go, but the traffic is holding us back_   
Our power sets seem so tempting

**But then again, using them would cause more traffic...**   
  
**Eternal waiting in a wasted car land**   
**It's like staring into the soul of post-MCU Spiderman**   
_A place full of nothingness_   
Full of wasted potential   
_Time that could've been spent doing something else_   
  
**We want to be let loose from this tangled red thread**   
**It's just nothing but a stupid commute**   
Rush hour should be banned   
_It's a stupid concept_   
**But at least we're together, in this moment**

The light then finally turned green.


	245. September 1: Why Is Hotaru This Rando's Profile?

Haruka was just scrolling through Instagram with Michiru, when she noticed something.

"Hotaru!"

Hotaru ran to her moms, like usual.

"What?"

"Did you get another Instagram?"

Hotaru cringed.

"It's another rando trying to use my image for her Twitter reposts."

 


	246. September 2: Lozers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They can't spell.

Haruka and Michiru: stop being mean to us

you're such lozers

haha

OneMillionMom#2: It's losers.

I'm speaking to the manager.


	247. September 3: The Pluto Sign

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I went to a restaurant the other day and I noticed that there was a Pluto sign near our table, so I decided to write something up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an apology for being so inconsistent with updates in the last few days! School's back and changes in routine are hard for me because of my autism, so I've needed a few days to adjust to the new routine. I promise I'm all good now, though!

"Welcome to War Criminal's, how can I help you?"

The Outer family was eating out again, and it felt a little awkward. Eating out at a new restaurant always felt strange, especially when it was in another city.

"Um, can we just get some water?", piped Hotaru.

"I'll go get that!" 

The waitress escaped the crazy Outers... which just got crazier once Setsuna turned and noticed something.

A poster that read: "Dear NASA, Your mom thought I was big enough. From, Pluto."

She giggled.

"I'M STILL A PLANET!"

Haruka and Michiru then took off their jackets.

"PLUTO ISN'T A PLANET? Come on, stop it with those stupid shirts!"


	248. September 4: Kill This Car

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost killed my dad's car a few weeks ago when I tried driving for the first time, so I naturally wondered about Haruka.

"There's no way I'll break your car!"

Usagi was about to cry, and Ami gave her a nervous look.

The worst was about to happen- Haruka was going to speed in Usagi's tiny little car.

She grabbed Michiru's hand.

Honked the horn.

And pressed the gas pedal VERY HARD.

_BOOOM!_

* * *

"You're going to have to get Kitten a new car, Haru-chan."

Haruka laughed. "It's fine."

"Besides, I killed many cars before."

 


	249. September 5: Hotaru's Tardy Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More weebness? More weebness!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was considering continuing the Haruka and Michiru Are Weebs subplot with this other anime I've been watching, Given, but I've never got around to it... until NOW. Today's episode was so phenomenal that it deserved a HaruMichi spot.

9/6/19

To Whoever The Hell Hotaru's Teacher Is,

Please excuse Hotaru Tomoe's tardiness today. She was in bed last night with a stomachache, and it didn't go away until about 11 am. 

Sincerely,

Michiru Kaioh (Hotaru's mom)

_P.S: This is Hotaru._

_Michiru-mama lied to you, Kizu-sensei. I wasn't in bed last night with any stomachaches. My stomach hasn't ached for a long time._

_The truth is, Michiru and my Haruka-papa are big anime nerds, even though they hate to admit it._

_Last night, there was a new episode of 'Given' on TV, and they freaked out over it._

_It came on at 1 am. I was sleeping, but around 1:15 I heard screaming from my mommies._

_I couldn't sleep because they kept on blasting some song on repeat after and screaming around. They didn't care I had school today. And they're supposed to care about my education!_

_They overslept after partying for 5 hours straight, and I couldn't get to school because Setsuna-mama was having an overnight lab at work._

_I'm sorry I was late today. I promise the summer anime season's almost over, and then I'll be free from all the screaming moms. Until they find another anime to fangirl about._

_-Hotaru_

* * *

 

**_Hotaru,_ **

**_It's fine you were late._ **

**_That's an acceptable excuse._ **

**_After all, the author of the Given manga is my sister ;)_ **

**_-Kizu-sensei_ **

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought of that plot twist at the last minute because I made the teacher share her last name with the author of the manga as a joke but then I was like YOU KNOW WHAT LEMME MAKE IT SOMETHING MORE


	250. September 6: A Love Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka writes a love letter to Michiru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s been some crazy things going on in HaruMichi lately, so to commemorate the 250th one, I’m writing simple love letters!

Dear Michiru,

I have a small confession. Forgive this pouring of my heart.

I cherish the beach where we first met. The moment I eyed you, I knew you were going to be a delightful girl. Recently, I have began to regard you as much more than just a delightful girl.

My feelings for you intensified when I saw you swimming in the moonlight. I was further wowed by your tremendous violin skills.

You have eyes like bright diamonds and the most perfect hair I've ever seen. When I look at you, I just want to stare into those bright diamond eyes and admire that perfect hair.

You're so special with your sweet ways. The way you handle your daughter shows great patience and generosity.

I know that to you I'm just a nerdy girl but I think we could be happy together.

Please, say you'll be mine Michiru!

All my love  
Haruka


	251. September 7: Michiru’s Love Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WE MADE IT TO 250!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 250! THANKS EVERYONE FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT!

Haruka,

I need to confess something to you. Ever since I met you, I can only think of your radiant, blue eyes. You filled my heart with unexpected joy and my head with amazing dreams of us together. My love can only grow more and more each day.

I dream of us painting. From time to time I would gently stroke your blonde hair while you keep smiling. In moments like these my life would simply be complete.

When I’m alone in the quiet, it always feels like I can hear your voice, whispering me sweet nothings, just like the blessed music of a violin. I wanted to tell you this from a long time ago, you are as essential to me as water.

My dearest Haru, please be sure I mean everything this love letter carries to you with all my heart. Once I saw your lovely hands I knew there won’t be anything more precious to me in this whole world. I want to take you away from the ordinary, away from any upset or misfortune and we shall go together to the beach.

You are the best I ever had and I must be the luckiest person to have you in my life. You are my sunny day in the summer. I’d give up all the sashimi in the world to know that you will be right there beside me for the rest of our lives.

My heart skips a beat at the thought that soon I will bring you violets to show you once more how dedicated I am to you, for all eternity.

Yours always and forever,  
Michiru


	252. September 8: Election Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's election time, and Haruka and Michiru are ANNOYED.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before we begin, I just want to thank you all for the sweet comments on my last story! It makes me so happy knowing that all of you guys are reading, and that a little idea I had when I was listening to the nightcore of Eternal Eternity on New Year's Eve last year made it this far. To be honest, I might even do 366 Days of Another Ship next year! (I'm probably going to do the love square from Miraculous if I do another one)
> 
> Anyways, there's a do-over election on Tuesday where I live.... and there's a gazillion ads. So, like usual, I took my energy out here!

Haruka and Michiru were dressed to the nines, ready to go to the bar and get boozed up. Even though Haruka knew that she'd be drunk as hell, she still decided to drive there because the couple could afford an Uber back home and someone to tow the Ferrari back as well. 

So there they were, flying down the streets of Tokyo. Everything seemed so beautiful- the lights, the stores, the trees-

"WHAT?"

Right below the beautiful trees was a display that could sore all the eyes on the planet- a bunch of election yard signs.

"VOTE FOR THIS DUDE!"

"NO! VOTE FOR THAT GUY!"

"YOU'RE WRONG! VOTE FOR ME!"

Haruka rolled her eyes and turned on the radio.

She expected to hear music, but instead, an annoying voice was on the radio:

"This dude tortured some innocent girl and cut off another kid's arm, please don't vote for him."

Michiru laughed. "How are these clowns running for public office?"

"More like 'why are these clowns intruding on our music'.", replied Haruka.

* * *

 

"A strawberry margarita and a Shirley Temple, please!"

At the bar, Haruka and Michiru were just chilling, doing coupley things. Holding hands, kissing cheeks, the like.

But that was ruined when, out of nowhere, more political ads attacked every TV.

"I'M ME AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE!"

"THIS DUDE IS AN IDIOT!"

"THAT GUY IS GREEDY!"

Haruka and Michiru gave each other the Windows Death Stare.

"REALLY?", they both groaned.

But Haruka winked at Michiru.

"We're rich enough."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How will Haruka and Michiru deal with their torture? Come back tomorrow to find out! (And if it's not there tomorrow, come back Tuesday because who knows if I'm going to be late or not with my medical problems)


	253. September 9: We Bought All The Airtime On TV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rich people problems? Rich people solutions.

All you could see on TV, hear on the radio, see on the billboards, was a bunch of nonsense.

Sure, the bombardment of content seemed like dystopian-level propaganda, but it didn't matter to Haruka and Michiru.

It was their way to combat the stupid political ads.

* * *

 

The radio was playing nothing but the Big Time Rush theme song.

The TVs were playing commercials for violins.

The billboards were pictures of Diana that Hotaru took.

* * *

 

And now, Haruka and Michiru were pulling out all the yard signs.

They both screamed in happiness as they yanked out sign after sign.

"BYE SIGNS OF NONSENSE!"

(They then added a sign that said "Mafuyu best boy")


	254. September 10: Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They make a party comeback.

"We have no more DVDs.", groaned Haruka.

"None of our shows are on.", added Michiru with a sigh.

"What shall we do, Haruka? We're banned from shrine parties-"

"I have a plan."

* * *

The familiar music started to play as the Kahoot room filled.

At the shrine, everybody got their phones out to play an educational Kahoot- after all, it was Ami's birthday! 

One by one, names started filling the Kahoot screen.

SleepIsNice.

ItsMyBirthday.

FireSoul.

JupiterGirl92.

MyJobHereIsDone.

SailorVChan.

PinkHairedPrincess.

WatashiWaSaturn.

"That's everyone. Right?", asked Mamoru.

Right then and there, two new names showed up- ILikeFerraris and ViolinTurbulence.

"HARUKA AND MICHIRU?"

Michiru walked in, pulling Haruka by the hand. "Surprise, bitch."

"You thought you saw the last of us at shrine parties."

* * *

Rei then turned red.

"Fine. As long as you don't get drunk..."


	255. September 11: Pause Button

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A forced moment of silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before we start I just want to remember all the people who died in the 9/11 attacks and in the aftermath. We will never forget 🖤 
> 
> Anyways we had a moment of silence at school today so I was wondering what would happen if those were taken literally. Enjoy this one since it’ll probably be my last well thought out story for a while since I’m getting sick... AGAIN

Haruka and Michiru were driving at a million miles an hour. Full-speed, with wind blown hair, bright lights and loud music. Everything seemed perfect and fast-paced... until...

The car stopped.

The lights dimmed.

The music went down to a little echo.

Haruka and Michiru tried to glare at eachother, as if to say “Nani the fuck is going on?”, but they couldn’t.

They couldn’t move at all.

For a moment, the world stopped.

* * *

 

A minute later, the lights were back on and the car was back to speeding through Tokyo.

”What the hell was that, Haruka?”


	256. September 12: That's Not Trash!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when Hotaru throws out a karambit?

"NOOOOOO!", Haruka and Michiru screamed at the top of their lungs.

_Clang._

"What? Setsuna told me to throw that random knife-thing away."

Hotaru shrugged and walked away.

Haruka and Michiru looked at each other and started tearing up.

"We spent thirty thousand yen on that!", angrily yelled Haruka.

"I know, sweetie. And we got it custom made from Indonesia, too!"

Michiru sighed on Haruka's shoulder.

"Guess we'll just have to find ANOTHER karambit."


	257. September 13: An Actual World Shakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens if Haruka stomped on the floor too hard?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y E E T

Nobody:

Literally nobody:

The world: *shakes*

* * *

 

Why, you may ask?

Haruka noticed that it was eight am. She overslept, which obviously wasn't good.

But the thing was, there was going to be a sale that ended at nine.

So Haruka jumped out of bed and stomped on the hard wood floor.

"WORLD SHAKING!"

The world actually shook.

* * *

 

"Well, that was useless."

Groaning, Haruka sadly looked at her phone.

"BARGAIN MORNING AT THE SUPERMARKET CANCELLED DUE TO EARTHQUAKE."


	258. September 14: Rich Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They’re not just Senshi, y’know.

Haruka angrily stepped on the gas of her Ferrari.

And her Lamborghini.

And her Porsche.

And her Prowler.

And her Corvette.

And her other Ferrari.

None of them were working.

She ran over to her motorbike, but it wouldn’t work either.

She sighed. 

“Guess I have to take the motorbike today.”

* * *

 

Michiru was counting her violins, inspecting them all for any flaws or imperfections.

”47, 48, 49...”

”Wait, I thought I had 50!”

Haruka ran in and said, “Didn’t the Daimon break your hand crafted antique one?”

Michiru sadly bit her lip and nodded.

”At least they’re all hand crafted antiques...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This started serious but ended up being crack.   
> Also if you saw the memes that inspired this on Google than good for you


	259. September 15: Sailor Uranus and Neptune Arrive But Transcribed By An iPhone 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sprained my arm. Can only type with one hand. So I made the best of my injury.

Answering the call from a new era I’m seller your address your flight brilliance also answering to call from a new era I’ve seller Neptune here to fight with elegance


	260. September 16: I'm A Strong Woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Michiru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw a tweet like this on an Instagram page under the hashtag 'lesbians'. I don't remember what account, but one of my friends from another fandom posted under it and I was like "let's see if there's any HaruMichi inspiration here." I found my inspiration, kids.

The monster was no match for Sailor Neptune.

She stepped out, looking all tough.

"You can't beat me! I'm a strong independent woman who needs no man!"

The monster attacked her.

THUD! Sailor Neptune fell, and a tear fell from her eye.

"I... actually... need my girlfriend."

"URANUS!"

Sailor Uranus ran in and finished off the Monster of the Week.


	261. September 17: Kissing On TV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when our girls PDA on TV?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a different story for today, but my mom is obsessed with the Bachelor. So I was working on something else before my writing session when my mom (who knows that the movie I'm working on has lesbians) said 'LOOK THEY GOT ENGAGED'. I was confused at first, but I turned and was faced with two girls kissing on the straightest TV show ever. So I saved the other idea for another day and STARTED WRITING.

"Welcome to Hot Dates Over 9000!"

Haruka groaned. "Michiru, you know this is the straightest show on planet Earth! Does anyone know you like-"

Michiru's hand touched Haruka's lips.

"It's a guilty pleasure."

The announcer kept on droning on and on, boring out Haruka.

"And now, for our Over 9000 Date! Today, a video surfaced from two months ago-"

Hotaru and Chibiusa ran into the house, plopping on the couch.

Haruka rolled her eyes again. "Do you guys watch this crap?"

"Not normally.", said Hotaru. "But something cool's gonna be on!"

"Look, Haruka-papa-in-law!"

Haruka turned, and her cheeks turned red.

It was her kissing Michiru when they got engaged.

"See? It's not the straightest show, Haru-chan."

Michiru kissed Haruka's cheek.


	262. September 18: Florida Men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why does everything happen in Florida?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for no story yesterday, I totally blanked. But you're gonna get 2 today!

_Florida._

_Population: 28 million._

_Which includes: a lot of crazy people._

* * *

Michiru was just casually making breakfast, when Haruka started laughing at the Alexa.

"What's so funny, Haru-chan?"

"Nothing. It's just, all these weird people from Florida!"

_Florida man climbs 400-foot broadcast tower._

_Florida man dragged shark behind boat._

_Florida man steals bird from pet store._

_Florida Man Vandalizes 20 Cars Then Falls Asleep On Nearby Bench._

"Florida is crazy.", said Michiru.

"I know.", whispered Haruka.

"But we're crazier."

 

 

 


	263. September 19: Happy Meal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s two kinds of people: cause I feel and happy meal. I’m the latter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ever since I heard this parody of Out of Control from Psycho-Pass it’s been impossible to get out of my head so I figured maybe if I wrote a story it would get it out

“Welcome to McDonald’s, what would you like?”

Haruka and Michiru gave eachother smug looks as the instrumental started.

”I would like some lunch

Cut open my fridge 

Look into my bag”

”Okay...”

”I don’t know why I’m so starved 

I can’t be so parched

I have enough cash”

”JUST ORDER!”

”HAPPY MEALLLLLL

I can always give my small french fries to YOUUUU

If this soft drink was for me

Inside I peer, spill my beer

Ketchup packets 

One toy to join it all

Again”

”Would you like the Pokemon or the Hello Kitty?

The instrumental continued and Haruka and Michiru danced wildly.

”HELLO?”

”IS THAT ALL?”

”Nope.

HAPPY MEALLLLLL

I can always give my small french fries to YOUUUU

If this soft drink was for me

Inside I peer, spill my beer

Ketchup packets 

One toy to join it all

Big Mac

Again”

”Okay, so you wanted 2 Happy Meals, 2 small French fries, 2 soft drinks, 2 beers, 4 ketchup packets, 2 toys to join it all and a Big Mac.”

”YES!”


	264. September 20: All About My Moms- Setsuna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this three-part series, Hotaru talks about her moms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR MISSING YESTERDAY! I'm out of town visiting my sister at her college, so it's been hard to find time to write, but I thought I'd kill my three days in Wilmington with one shot and give Hotaru three stories in the limelight!

My Three Moms- by Hotaru Tomoe

Setsuna-mama is one of my moms. She's the sanest of them all.   
She's into science and time travel, and is pretty smart.  
Sometimes she doesn't let me do cool things, but it's okay, because my other moms are crazy and let me do whatever.  
I'm glad she's my mom because if I was stuck with only Haruka-papa and Michiru-mama, I'd lose my brain cells.


	265. September 21: Michiru

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My hotel wifi crashed RIGHT as I tried to put up this chapter so I'm late AGAIN! Dang it Courtyard...

My Three Moms Part 2- By Hotaru Tomoe

Michiru-mama is one of my moms. She's really talented, but really crazy.

She and my Haruka-papa do all these weird fangirl things all the time, but it's OK.

Michiru is a famous swimmer, a world-famous violinist and a painter who's pieces are on display everywhere.

It's cool that she's famous, but it just makes me sad that I'm untalented. :(

But I will find my talent someday! :)

I love Michiru because she's so cool.


	266. September 22: Haruka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last but not least!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY IM NOT LATE.

My Three Moms: Last Part

Haruka-papa is my mom, but she likes being called papa.

She likes to drive around and stuff, and she's the craziest out of everyone.

She owns many cars and helicopters, but she still wants more.

I heard her tell Michiru-mama that she wanted a airplane for their wedding! As if she'll ever get that...

I still love Haruka-papa, though. She's cool, and she's going to teach me how to read her motorbike!

I love her.

And Michiru-mama.

And Setsuna-mama.

And Chibiusa-chan.

Wait, what? That's off topic.


	267. September 23: Shrine Rush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh no.

"REI!"

Haruka and Michiru barged in her room, only to notice that nobody was there.

They both gave each other looks of confusion.

"What the hell? I thought Rei was going to talk to us, Michiru!"

"She must have a good reason."

* * *

 

As Haruka and Michiru walked out of the house, they were stopped by a huge crowd.

"Um, why are you here?", Haruka asked a random girl in a T-shirt that said T-shirt.

"Because it's the Autumn Equinox!", she said before yeeting over to the next window.

Everyone else stormed over to the shrine bell, but Haruka and Michiru?

They stormed out of there.


	268. September 24: Congratulations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Congratulations!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I found out Megumi Ogata voices Shinji in Evangelion I lost it so I had to do this... and no I haven’t watched it yet i just know the memes but the English voice of the other Asuka’s coming to a con in January so I need to get on it lol

Haruka breathed.

Michiru breathed.

It seemed impossible, but they both did it.

They put one foot in front of another... and GOT OUT OF BED.

Wow.

Haruka and Michiru dismissed it as nothing, but soon Hotaru and Setsuna ran into their room.

”Congratulations!”

“Congratulations.”

More congratulating came from the other side of the room, where apparently every Sailor Guardian was there.

Even Naru Osaka showed up.

”What the hell did we do?”, asked Michiru.

Haruka shrugged.

”Attention’s cool I guess.”


	269. September 25: Haruka Vs Usagi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Wanna play some games, bunhead?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started watching Sailor Moon Crystal season 3 and I got this idea from an episode of it (I think it was episode 2 but I could be wrong haha)

They got their butts in the seats of the video game. 

Helmets were placed.

Feet were placed by the pedals.

"Ready, bunhead?"

"I'm going to beat you this time, Haruka!", yelled Usagi.

Michiru giggled. "You'll never beat her."

"SAYS WHO?" Makoto shoved herself in, trying to watch as well.

"Someone's petty that she lost that fight."

_3\. 2. 1._

_GO!_

* * *

"YES! I WON!"

Haruka sighed and took off her helmet.

"I actually lost, Michiru. To Bunhead, of all people."

"It's fine, Haru-chan.", Michiru said as she lovingly gave Haruka a kawaii headpat.

"Besides, you're the real life champion. And you'll always be number one in my heart."

 


	270. September 26: The Everglow Victory Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EVERGLOW FIRST WIN!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm late to the party but EEP!

'Adios' was blasting on repeat.

Helicopters were circling the Tenoh/Kaioh/Meioh/Tomoe residence. 

Fireworks were popping, as well as confetti poppers.

And the streets were filled with Ubers.

* * *

 

Outside, there were probably a thousand Everglow fans partying, spilling beer everywhere and watching fancam after fancam.

Haruka and Michiru were watching the action from their balcony and spilling more confetti on the party attendees.

"This is so much fun, Michiru!"

"I know, sweetie. I'm proud of our children."

Michiru kissed Haruka before transforming and jumping off the balcony.

"WHO'S READY TO PARTY MORE?"

* * *

 

Hotaru's eyes opened as the crowd cheered.

She jumped out of bed, ran down the stairs, and opened the door.

A noisemaker was blown right in her face.

"Michiru-mama, Haruka-papa, what are you doing? It's a SCHOOL NIGHT!"

* * *

 

_To Kizu-sensei,_

_My moms partied too hard last night. I couldn't sleep._

_Sorry that I'm tardy again._

_From,_

_Hotaru_

_P.S: Tell your sister congrats on the movie!_


	271. September 27: Gambling Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka and Michiru go nuts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At anime club yesterday (sorry for forgetting LMAO), we watched this anime called Kakegurui about crazy gambling... and I thought that 'you know what HaruMichi would do that'

"ROCK."

Haruka bet 10 million yen.

"PAPER."

Michiru bet 50 million yen.

"Ready, sweetie?"

"I'm gonna beat your ass."

"SCISSORS!"

Haruka squealed with delight once she saw her lover's card.

"SCISSORS CUTS PAPER! I WINNNN!"

Michiru sighed.

"There goes my fifty million yen..."

Suddenly, the police sirens started to go off and there was a knock on the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I left you guys on a cliffhanger. But if any of you guys know the legality of gambling in Japan, you'll know...


	272. September 28: Locked Up

Sirens blazed in the Tokyo night.

The lights went off every second.

"YOU GAMBLED?"

"YOU'RE UNDER ARRESTTT!"

But Haruka and Michiru were unphased.

* * *

Ten million yen later, they were freed from that hell.


	273. September 29: Let's Rob A Bank

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're in trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR BEING SO BEHIND! Life's been crazy and I've been working on my script a lot, but hopefully tonight will be the night when I'm finally caught up with HaruMichi!

Sirens blasted in the Tokyo streets.

All the poor cops wanted to do was just chill and eat their jelly donuts, but they had to stop a bank robbery.

The Sailor Senshi usually stopped robberies, but unusually, there was none to be seen.

All the cops did was throw their donuts at the robbers and yell "STOP", but the robbers quickly ran away.

"Goddamn, where are the Sailors when you need them?"

* * *

 

Haruka and Michiru were safe at home with their two-trillion dollars.

"Phew.", said Haruka. "It was fun robbing a bank. Even though we didn't go to jail again, we could've bailed ourselves out again."


	274. September 30: September

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The month with most songs about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE ONLY HAVE THREE MONTHS LEFT OF HARUMICHI AFTER THIS CHAPTER HOLY COW! I'll miss this so much!
> 
> And if you don't know city pop here's the song from this chapter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORyw6TGLBvk

There are three types of people who think of songs about September.

The first type are the meme people, who say "DO YOU REMEMBER THE 21ST NIGHT OF SEPTEMBER?"

The second type are the emo kinds, who yell "WAKE ME UP WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS!"

And then there are the special Japanese snowflakes, who yell "M A R I Y A MARIYA'S HIT PARADE!"

* * *

Haruka Tenoh and Michiru Kaioh are proud members of the third type of September song thinkers.

As the leaves fell at 11:55 pm on September 30, Michiru held Haruka's hand and kissed it.

"This is pretty, Haruka. But we need to get inside quick. We only have 20 seconds to turn on the music!"

Haruka nodded, and the couple yeeted their hands away from each other and quickly Naruto-ran inside the house.

They hit 'Play' on September by Mariya Takeuchi just in time for the song to end as October came.

 

 


	275. October 1: Love Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uwu!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stole this from American Girl’s new gift maker lol

You're the best, Haruka!

 

You're amazing. Every day, in so many ways, you show others that you are caring, adventurous, and loyal. Just by being yourself, you inspire those around you to become better people.

 

As you look ahead, remember it's up to you to take advantage of every adventure. Because what you learn from life's twists and turns will not only change you, it'll help you change the world.

 

Love,

Michiru


End file.
